Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Need To Change My Head Space

I have signed up for Far & Fast with Operation Move and got my training plan on the weekend.  I know that it is doable and I love that I am now being held accountable because, for me, accountability is what counts.  Accountability is what gets me out the door - especially in the early stages where I am trying to fake it until I make it in terms of loving what I'm doing.  Don't get me wrong - there are some days I can't wait to get home, pull on my runners and get out there but there are still too many days when I get home and force myself to get out there BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S WHAT I NEED TO DO not because I want to.

But, having been down this path before, I know that there will come a point in time when I run because I want to - as well as because I need to !!  I just need to keep going until that switch is flicked.  Once it's flicked, that's me - I'm on my way to a half marathon (well that's my goal at the moment - I'll have to wait and see how it goes)

I am used to running on the flat.  I have times in my head of how fast I ran - on the flat.  Now I am running some flat but some hills as well and I can't get my head around how slow I am.  Yes, I know I've only just started running again but I still feel that by now I should be running faster than I am.

Last night I ran - in tears - because I was just too slow.  Too slow for what - I have no idea - just too slow.  I spoke to A about it and he suggested *shock horror* running without technology - just running and either having a good run, a not so good run or even possibly a bad run.  I told him I didn't think I could do that because I use the technology to spur me on to the next km or for the next minute.  There was a post recently by the amazing Zoey about taking some ego out of your running and I think that is what I need to do - I need to get my head around the fact that I am not the same person I was when I used to run.  I am me now and I am different and I have other issues to deal with that I didn't have back then.  And that it's OK - so long as I am moving, I am making a difference to my body.

As we all know - sometimes our hearts over-rule our heads - and I really need to have my head over-rule my heart on this one.  I accept that I will never win a race - I've never expected to so that isn't a shock.  I accept that I may never run a marathon - I can't say I've ever thought I would, so that isn't a shock either.  But I won't accept that I may never run a 10km or a half marathon race - because those are my goals and, if I can get my head to over-rule my heart, I may just achieve them !!!!

Have the best day that you can !

Does your head or your heart rule you ?
What have you done to change 
which one rules ?

TFTD : Focus your conscious mind on things you desire not things you fear.  Doing so brings dreams to life.


  1. Interesting take on your head space. I have the same problem with any exercise at all!
    Today I got on the treadmill. I only walked for 15 minutes. I was pissed off with myself that I couldn't do more, faster, longer etc.
    But. I did some. and like you, I have to be content with that and stop looking BACK to what I used to do and focus on NOW.
    Keep it up Chick, cos if it's what you want, it's worth striving for.

    1. I couldn't agree with you more Chris. Well done on getting those 15mins in because I know that there are heaps of other things you could have done instead - keep it up !!!!
      Have a fantastic week !

  2. There's no too slow - if you are running, you are running. Once you've been running regularly for a bit, you'll run faster. The important thing is the doing, not the degrees. You ran. Success.

    1. Thanks Lydia - it sounds like you have been talking to A - LOL !!!!!
      Have the best day !

  3. I admire anyone who can run. I just don't have the strength, endurance or determination. Who cares if you go slow? Go easy on yourself and you will get faster before you know it. I'm like you, I would need to use the technology to get myself through it. Good luck and keep on running xx

  4. Hey, I think you are brilliant…I can't run at all, and I high five anyone that can!!
    And as for slow….remember, its baby steps to start with…AND with time and more practice you will be nailing it…and loving it again.

  5. I think that maybe you aren't giving yourself enough credit for being so awesome. Maybe the surface you are running on can make a difference to. I know a few runners who can no longer run on paving and run around an oval instead, though I think that could get boring after a while unless you have someone to run with xxx

  6. I know what you mean about needing technology to spur you on! I think you're fantastic for doing what you're doing. I walk. I could never run for more than 60 seconds! Go Linda x

  7. I am having the same kind of problem L. I can't get out of my head the runner I *was* but I also can't seem to remind myself of the time and dedication it took to get to that place. My head things I should just be able to stay at that pace/ability without putting in the work. I also find this time around everything HURTS more. Legs, ankles, shins, feet, my head is SO NEGATIVE and I'm struggling to get past that. Maybe we make an agreement to be so much kinder to ourselves? xox


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