Thursday 7 November 2013

Thankful Thursday

It's time for Thankful Thursday again and this week I truly am very thankful for A who puts up with me so patiently.  Honestly, I am sure that if I was him I would have given me my walking papers by now !!  In fact, I have suggested I leave but he keeps telling me to stay !!!

I don't know what I want. I know I am tired. I can't be a*sed to plan or cook meals.  It's all I can do to stay on top of our laundry although last night he got home from work and put a load of washing on and then took it out and hung it up so clearly I missed the boat on that one.

I am feeling very 'blah' at the moment and don't really know why.  Life is good - in fact life is bloody fantastic and yet everything seems such an effort to me.

Last Sunday I think he was up at about 6.30 - I think I woke up at about 8.00 - wandered through to the lounge and he was watching something on National Geographic - so I lay on the couch with my head on his lap.  At about 9.00 he got up to go to the loo - came back and I was sprawled across the couch so he went to potter around outside.  I walked outside at about 10.30 and said "I think I am awake now."  He just laughed at me and said "It doesn't really look like you are."

I know my sleeping patterns aren't the best - OK, who am I trying to kid, they are cr*p. But I don't really know what else to do.  People have said - exercise, you'll sleep better (In fact, I was one of them because that is what happened to me years and years and years ago, before K was born) - not so much now - even on the nights I go to gym - my sleeping is still not that flash.

I know I am going through menopause, but honestly, I thought it was all under conttrol.  Clearly some of it is because I don't have the depression or anxiety attacks that I was suffering from but I certainly don't feel like I am entering the best years of my life or anything like that.  In fact I feel like I am slowly just breaking down into a feeling of 'blahness' !

Is it just a mind set that I have to change ?  I have been checked out medically and there is nothing wrong with me from that point of view.  Is it just near the end of the year and everyone feels like it's all just a little bit too much ?  I don't know.  But, what I do know is that nearly 26yrs ago, I married a man who has stood by me through thick and thin (literally), who is as patient as the day is long and who gets that right now I just need to be, and not do (which can be frustrating, I know, when we have so much we want to do to the house before we put it on the market - I get that totally). 

I just wish I knew the right way to tackle this - do I throw myself into busyness over the weekend and then start off next week even more tired than I am now or do I just say, you know what, maybe the house has to wait.  Except then I feel selfish because it isn't only us wanting to sell our house and find another house to move into, it's my folks waiting to sort out their future.  I know that it isn't a big thing for them but, my Mom being my Mom, this appears to be stressful for her too - waiting to see where they are going to live.

I think that this weekend may be the weekend we decide what to do and take it from there.  I do know that with all the painting that needs to be done, I am going to have to take some time off work because painting only on the weekend or trying to paint at night in the dark, is not the best way to get the job done.  Maybe I need to get a quote to get the two loungerooms, diningroom and kitchen painted - that would help but, of course, it depends on the cost.

What I do know is that nearly 26yrs ago, I married a man who has stood by me through thick and thin (literally), who is as patient as the day is long and who gets that right now I just need to be, and not do (which can be frustrating, I know, when we have so much we want to do to the house before we put it on the market - I get that totally). For this man, I am totally thankful !

Linking in with Rhianna from
for Thankful Thursday.
Have you linked in yet ?

Have the best day that you can !

TFTD : Love yourself for what you are, instead of hating yourself for what you are not.

15 comments:

  1. I am totally with you on this post ! I don't know what it is but I just don't want to do anything except sleep and I can't : (
    I am throwing what energy I have into being positive and trying my best to see the up side of life instead of the down......I know I need to ask for help but I don't, I don't know why ! All I know is I'm pushing myself and I'm over it.
    I hope you feel better soon lovely, sending you big hugs from afar and wishing you luck sorting things out. You are very lucky to have A and he is very lucky to have you xx

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    1. Thank you Beck. I have spoken to a few people recently who are feeling pretty much the same as me that is what made me think it may have something to do with the fact that it is getting close to the end of the year and everyone is just over everything !!!
      Have the best day that you can and I hope you feel better soon.
      Me

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    2. Hi,
      I prefer to sleep when I do NOT Want think about something. But, when I am looking for the things. Which really bothers me, also analyze it, then I feel good. I hope you feel better very soon.

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  2. Oh lovely sounds like a tough time in your place. Blasted hormones hey they are almost never ending I hope you find your balance again and yay for wonderful men hey?

    Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you lovely, thanks so much for joining in

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    1. Thanks Rhianna - I think we are all just getting to the end of our tether - the only thing is I don't even have term 4 or little children to blame it on !!!!
      For sure yay for wonderfu men - I wouldn't know what to do without mine (even though some days he does drive me to drink !!!)
      Have the best day and thanks for hosting the linky !
      Me

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  3. I hear you on this "I know I am tired. I can't be a*sed to plan or cook meals." - you know what, I think a bit of it is just that it's that time of year, and cooking & shopping is totally boring. I forgot to go to the supermarket on the weekend and only realised I had nothing for the kids lunches on Monday when a friend complained about not getting to the shops on FB....so that may not be related. I just think hormones are really tough to deal with. Don't under-estimate their power.
    Please tell me you showed A that last paragraph - it's so lovely.

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    1. It's good to know I am not the only one feeling like this. Since I posted this, I have seen a few other posts and tweets about others feeling the same.
      Sorry - I didn't show it to him - maybe I will over the weekend.
      Have the best day and an even better weekend !
      Me

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  4. OH no it is not nice when you feel so "Blah" Sounds like you may have to indulge yourself a little and go with the tides whenever you are able until the cloud lifts. Good luck with house etc and the "Blah" How great is it you can still write something, help you get through it, allow others to identify with you. Go your rock of a hubby!

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    1. I think you are right, I need to just go with the flow until it passes - what scares me is that it may not pass !!!!!
      Thank you for your lovely words - have a great day !
      Me

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  5. This time of the year is definitely more stressful. There is so much pressure with holidays and Christmas and spending time with family. The maternal side of my family are all fighting at the moment and I'm just about ready to go and tell them to all jump. They are a major source of my year round stress and it all gets compounded around Christmas time.
    Be kind to yourself and try not to let the guilt set in as I find that sometimes that can make things so much worse. I hope that the blah feeling lifts soon xx

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    1. Family squabbles always add so much stress don't they ? Thankfully the part of the family that we don't really get on with, we don't have much to do with. We see them for milestone birthdays for my folks but other than that we don't see them much at all.
      So far I have been able to keep the guilt at bay - I am hoping I can keep it up.
      Have the best weekend !
      Me

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  6. A is a keeper for sure!! I really hope things simmer down for you soon.

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  7. Oh hunny, that must be tough, but try not to be tough on yourself and I'm so thankful that you have such a man that will that you just be, it seems like that is the best thing to do right now. Things have to get easier. But I do know what you mean about end of year blues. And taking time off sounds like a great idea, recharge the batteries. Thinking of you lovely xxx

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  8. I hope things get easier for you soon - can't be fun feeling so blah and tired and uninspired. Take it slow and look after yourself x

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  9. Thinking of you - and hoping you are feeling a bit better now. Glad you have a great hubby beside you understanding the tiredness and the blahness - I hope it passes soon - the gym will help for sure with a bit of time. And it sounds like a decision on what to do with the house may give you a new sense of direction and energy - I can come around with a paint brush.

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Have the best day.

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