Let me start by saying I am not an animal person. I have never been an animal person. I am the person that, when we visit people who have animals, their animals gravitate towards me like a pin to a magnet even though A and K would love to play with them, absolutely no go - they stay around me. It drives me nuts. There were a number of reasons we got Alfie and, I have to be honest, I was the instigator. But, he accomplished what I wanted him to and that was the main thing. The only trouble was that he made our garden look like we had a resident mole as we were forever coming home and finding piles of sand where he had been digging. Everyone said he was lonely - get him a friend. And I said - what's the difference between one or two dogs (famous last words !!!!!). So we got Rosie and she did what she was meant to to (to a large extent anyway) - the digging mostly stopped and we had two happy animals.
These are photos of them. Alfie will be 3 in March and Rosie will be 3 in October. What I have noticed is that when I get home from work, they are both extremely happy to see me - it is like they haven't seen me in forever ! Sometimes they are more happy to see me that my 19yo !!!!! I have realised that even though I am not the one who feeds them or gives them water or really does much for them at all apart from buying their food (and they don't know that anyway), they love me, unconditionally. Even when I have had to shout at them, they will still come to me inside and say "Please give me a pat". When I go to the bedroom from the loungeroom, Alfie invarably follows me, sits outside the bathroom and then comes back with me to the loungeroom. If I am sitting in the single chair in the lounge, Alfie will come and sit at my feet and wait for me to pat him. And I do - much to my surprise. I play with his soft silky ears and I pat him. Rosie gets very jealous and will push her way in for a pat as well - her ears aren't as soft and silky !
While I never thought I would say this, I am thankful for what they have taught my about unconditional love and putting what has happened in the past away - they don't carry grudges, they don't snarl at me when I shout at them for whatever reason, they just come to my feet when I sit down and ask me to pat them - because they love me. Why ? I have absolutely no idea !
Now to the bit where I am not so thankful. I am really struggling to stay motivated with my weight loss. I am doing L&E Monday to Friday and then being really careful over the weekend with what I eat. On top of this I am exercising between 45-60mins, at least 5 times per week and walking for between 1-2hrs on the other two days of the week. Now if I was losing cms, I would be happy but the bloody cms aren't really moving and the weight is certainly not bloody going down and I am getting frustrated and angry. I am staying strong enough to say "No thank you" to the ice-cream and chocolates and chips and muffins and biscuits that are being offered around but honestly, if I am going to say no thank you I would at least like to see some sort of reward at the end of the week. I know that I need to stick with this and I will see the results but in the meantime I am really battling to try to stay focused. A is away for work until Saturday then home until Sunday afternoon or Monday when he will be away for another week and then home for the weekend and then, depending on what work is available up here, he may stay at home or be on his way back down to Coffs. Between K and I hopefully I can stay strong enough to not eat while he is away - when he is not there it is like I have lost an arm or a leg - I feel lost without him - I feel like a part of me is missing. Travel safe Love !
I promise myself to do the best that I can over the next few days and to try to hold it together until I can see the results that I am working so hard for.
Have the best Thursday ever !
TFTD : When you learn to say yes to yourself, you will be able to say no to others, with love.