Tuesday, 16 July 2013

Being Nice To Me

A few weeks ago, I looked at my phone and saw the words in red of this tweet on the front of my phone :

You have been saying mean things about my friend all day! First on your blog, now this! Enough!

I was absolutely horrified - what mean things had I said about anybody ?  I try really hard to be supportive and encouraging when I tweet / FB / post blogs and, as much as I wracked my brains, I couldn't think of anything I had posted where I had been mean to anyone.

And then I read the whole tweet.

And then I knew who I had been mean to.

I had been mean to me.

I had said things that were not supportive of me.

I had said things that did not encourage me.

I had said things that were mean and nasty about me.

And it wasn't right - how come I can be so supportive and encouraging of others and yet so destructive of myself ?  

Is it because I think others are more worthy of my support and encouragement than I am ?

I don't know.  But, what I do know is that I made a decision - to try really, really hard to be nice to myself.

To support and encourage myself.

To not put myself down.

And to give myself the boost that I need when I need it.  Not in a "I love myself and look how good I am" kind of way, but in the same way that I support and encourage those in my village.

Are there times when I will forget ?  Absolutely.

Is this OK ?  Yes, so long as I realise when I am doing it and turn it around.

On Saturday night I saw this on The Warm Fuzzies FB page and it was just so appropriate, I had to use it in this post.


Source

Seeing as it's Tuesday, I am linking in with Essentially Jess for #IBOT.

Why not pop over and read some amazing posts ?
Why not join in ?

TFTD : Stop expecting others to show you love, acceptance, commitment and respect when you don't even show that to yourself. 


48 comments:

  1. Yes please be nice to yourself, you're gorgeous, supportivem kind and caring women and you deserve of you. X

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Trudie - your support is so appreciated !!!
      Have the best day and take care !
      Me

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  2. Great post for my first day back!!! I'm glad it made a difference...and I'll be watching...
    I love that quote by the way, I've never heard of it before but will be stealing it to bandy (bandi? that looks a bit porno) about as I see fit...
    And I second Trudie's comment...

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    Replies
    1. LOL - bandy vs bandi - I think you may be right - bandi does look a bit pornish !
      Thank you for pulling me up on it in such a nice way !!! It's great how comfy we are with each other to be able to do it.
      Have a great week !
      Me

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    2. There's a song in Cabaret "if you could see her through my eyes" - looking at all the comments, imagine if you saw yourself how we saw you - there'd be NO stopping you!!

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  3. It's so true isn't? Often we look at our self talk and realise that we would never say those things to other people so why is it ok to say them to ourselves.

    Here's to changing the coversation in your head :)

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    Replies
    1. I'll second that - here's to changing those conversations in our heads !!!
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  4. A great reminder to all of us to love ourselves.

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  5. Yes...a great blog post..something for us all to remember.

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  6. Great post! Those nasty little voices inside our heads are far more critical than any other person. Time to tell yourself some nice things instead.
    Have a great day
    xxx

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    Replies
    1. Absolutely - far more critical than anyone else !! Well anyone else who is a nice person !!!
      Have a great week !
      Me

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  7. I love that image!! Fantastic!! I do that too and we need to be kind to ourselves and others! Great post and fantastic tweet!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Eleise !
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  8. I started reading this post and was about to get all outraged that you were being accused - I haven't 'known' you long, but what I do know is that you are one of the nicest, most friendly person I have 'met', and I couldn't imagine you being mean to anyone! This is a great reminder, and something which, I think, a lot of us do without realising it!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for those kind words L - it's great to know I have you on my side !
      Have a great day with your GREAT (blog post providing) children !!!
      Me

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  9. So so true, but yet I'm not quite sure why that is. I'm getting a little bit better at being nice to myself, hope you are too.

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    Replies
    1. I am certainly working on it Mandy - it just takes time !!
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  10. Great post and so true. How easily we put ourselves down and drown ourselves in negative self talk without even knowing we are doing it. I'm glad you got this reminder. Enjoy the rest of your day and be kind to you :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Renee - I'm certainly working on it.
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  11. That's brilliant! Who was the very smart tweep that pulled you up for not being nice to yourself?!

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    Replies
    1. PS forgot to say, visiting from #TeamIBOT xxx

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    2. That would be Lydia C Lee !!!! And yes, it is brilliant !
      Have a great week !
      Me

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  12. How dare you be mean to my friend!! ;)
    It's too easy be down on ourselves, but try to see yourself as others do. You're always looking out for others L, start being kind to you too xx

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    Replies
    1. LOL - I am working really hard on not being mean to your friend !!!
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  13. So true. We are often our own harshest critics. I was discussing this the other week with my hairdresser, and how we often down play our strengths because we don't want to sound conceited, but that doesn't help anyone.

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    Replies
    1. That is exactly right - I try not to think of it as downplaying my strengths as much as just not being mean to me !!
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  14. YES! I agree! And just so you know, being nice to yourself makes an,amazing difference :)

    MC x

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    Replies
    1. LOL - yes I know - I just need to keep working on it !
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  15. You are the nicest person I know! How on earth could you possess the ability to be mean to yourself??? Must say I have this down to a fine art, but I would expect more from you Mrs. Take care of yourself, you are one special human xxx

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Nee - I do have to say I have it down to a fine art as well !!!! But I am working on changing it !
      Take care of yourself !
      Me

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  16. You are so lovely. You should definitely be kind to yourself. xo

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  17. So true, be nice to yourself.

    I say that to my little ones - be nice to yourself, be careful for yourself, don't hurt my (insert relevant child's name here)

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    Replies
    1. Very wise words Francesca - I sometimes wonder if I would have different thought patterns if my parents had done things differently - and then I realise I am a big girl now and responsible for my own actions !!
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  18. Great post! And I agree with the comments above - you are one of the nicest bloggers on the block. I so know what you mean though, I am my worst enemy, always have been. No matter how much therapy I do the belief that I am somehow defective is just too hard to shake off, but I keep working at it!

    I love reading positive posts like this so thank you.

    V.

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    1. Thank you Vanessa. I think so long as we work at making the changes me know we need to make, we can't ask for more of ourselves !
      Have a great week !
      Me

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  19. It's so true. I wouldn't like it if someone was mean to me, so why am I mean to myself. I haven't given myself a big hug for a while. Thanks for the reminder to be kind to myself xxx You be kind to you too ;)

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    1. Thank you Alicia - it sounds so logical when you say it like that - now for us to continue to work at being nicer to ourselves !!
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  20. Why do we do it to ourselves hun? and YOU especially. You have one of the kindest souls I have ever come across. Even though we have never actually met in person, your beautiful and supportive nature just comes through so strongly. Please PLEASE be kinder to yourself hun OK xx

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    1. Thank you Sonia - what lovely words - and I appreciate every one of them ! I am working on being kinder to myself - and got a small pull up from Bek this morning !!!
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  21. I love this so much.

    I think this should be mandatory reading for all women.

    You rock.

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    1. Thank you Kelley - I'm glad you liked this. To be honest, I didn't realise that it would touch so many people !!! It seems like I'm not the only one !
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  22. Great post and a great and very timely reminder. I hope you can continue to be nice to yourself!

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    1. Thanks Kirsty - I am working hard on it !!!
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  23. God, I love that quote and it's so appropriate for me this week. Big hugs to you. XXX

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    1. It is good isn't it ??? Hope your week is travelling along OK now - I know you had a rocky start.
      Have the best week that you can !
      Me

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Have the best day.

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