Tuesday, 2 July 2013

You Can Change

If you are a regular reader of my blog you will know that I went up to Townsville this weekend to see A - in the middle of his 4 week roster away from home.  Well about an hour after I left Brisbane, he received a phone call to say that he would have to do call testing the whole weekend.  After "Hullo Love, how are you ? Thank you so much for coming up to see me" -his next words were "I just got a phone call to say that I have to work the whole weekend."  I said that it was OK, so long as we could spend the time together (not really sure that it was OK but not wanting to rock the boat just after landing there !!!).  We went to his unit and then walked to the local hotel to have ribs for dinner - talking nineteen to the dozen and catching up on stuff that we never seemed to talk about on the phone.

At 5.45 (earlier than I get up during the week !!!) we were up and moving on our way to Ayr where A had to pick up an inverter and drop off something with another tech.  Then we were on our way to Bowen where he had 'on the job' training for about 90mins for the work he had to do over the weekend.  As I have said before - they couldn't organise a p*ss up in a brewery ! 

I couldn't believe the amount of roadkill on the road - I haven't seen anything like that in my travels around the country - in fact the last time I had seen that much roadkill was back in South Africa !!!

Then we drove back to Ayr to start the data testing !!!  Six and a half hours later we had not completed one test - it turns out that the transmitters he had been given to do the testing with, did not have the latest software loaded.  Of course they didn't !

We couldn't move as they had to be in the same place while the new software was loaded.  By the time we could move it was close to 8.30 and I was getting just a little bit cranky.  A was very apologetic even though I kept telling him that it wasn't his fault.  We got home just on 9.30 and it was all I could do to have a spa and get into bed.  We landed up having a ice-cream and a bottle of coke for dinner !



We were up at about 6.15 the next morning and set off for Ayr.  If I was frustrated on Saturday, Sunday pushed the bounds of my patience like they have never been pushed before.  I have always had a very high regard for A and his work ethic and a rather low regard for the company he works for.  Sunday saw my admiration of him rise even more while my thoughts regarding the company he works for, drop even lower.  To say that the one hand does not know what the other hand is doing is a total under statement.  We were sent from one project to the other only to get there, get everything set up and then be told to go back to the first project.  His powers of patience are to be commended because I told him that if I was him I would have told them to take their job and shove it long before now - how he has not done this I have no idea !



So, not only do they not know what they want him to do, they have sent him down to work on the project that he has no training in (bar the 90mins he had on Saturday morning) and then they complain because the testing is taking so long.  I would bet my bottom dollar that not one of them has ever done any field work so trying to find a spot within 100m of a pin on google earth (where there are no road names so if anyone can tell me how to get road names on google earth I would really appreciate it), then get another two figures within specific parameters all while driving a car - yes, it takes a while to find the exact spot they want.  And then when you find the spot, it isn't his fault if the test doesn't pass - he didn't lay the fibres or do the rigging work in the first place !!!! He is just there doing the testing.  Ringing a gazillion times to ask how it is going will not get you a quicker answer - in fact it only slows the process down.  Getting three other people to phone to ask how the testing is going, doesn't speed up the process either - all we could do was set the test to run and then wait for it to pass and when it didn't, set it to run again because apparently if the test fails, and you try it at least another 4 or 5 times, it may pass after that !

A wanted to leave Ayr by 4pm, I said 5pm - eventually we left at 5.20pm and managed to get me to the airport with about 5 mins to spare.  I did feel particularly 'boganess' when I climbed out the ute in my 3/4 jeans, T-shirt and thongs - carrying the cr*p that I had had in the front of the car with me that needed to go in my suitcase, opening said suitcase on the side of the pavement to pack everything in and then running across the road pulling my carry on bag, my bag over my shoulder and my boots in my hand !!!!  I got through security, dashed into the toilet for a pee and to put my longs and jeans on only to find I had left my jumper in the car ! Heading into Brisbane on a cold, wet and windy night was not my idea of fun !!  But, my folks were there to collect me and take me home (if only Dad had turned the aircon down just a little I probably wouldn't have frozen quite so much !!!)



After dropping me at the airport,  A went and got a change of clothes, drove the hour back to Ayr, and worked until 12.30am to get the site over the line before the end of the financial year (well technically it wasn't before but they were happy to accept it as before).  He then stayed the night with some of the riggers who had a place not to far from Ayr to save him from having to drive back to Townsville.  He was back on site at 7am only to get a phone call from the OH&S guy saying that he had broken all sorts of OH&S rules and he had to go home.  Honestly - there is no pleasing that company.  They are only allowed one techy to do call testing even though it is unsafe i.m.o. given how you have to drive around looking at the computer screen trying to see if you are in the right spot or not, the boss basically told him he had to go and do it and now they are saying he was practising unsafe OH&S procedures - go figure !! Again, I take my hat off to him and my admiration for his coolness grows and grows because, if it had of been me, I would have probably lost the plot with the OH&S guy and landed up getting fired !!

On our way back to Townsville on Sunday (after having tried to change my flight and not being able to because the next flight was Monday night at 6.55pm) we were talking about the weekend.  A apologised, again, and I told him, again, that it wasn't his fault.  He really did go out of his way to make sure that I was as comfortable and well taken care of as I could be in the circumstances.  I apologised for getting a little cranky on Saturday night and he laughed and said it was nothing - he had expected a lot worse from me.  He was thinking about the wife he left behind when he first went to Townsville, or the wife he used to have about 5-6 years ago - the one who wasn't very flexible about things, the one who liked to know exactly what was going to happen and when it was going to happen, the one that you didn't spring surprises on because she couldn't deal with things not being ordered, the one who lived and died by lists and doing what was on those lists.  What he has instead is a wife who is much more flexible, who realises that plans change and life is about going with the flow and not stressing when things don't turn out quite like planned, who accepts that sometimes we can't control what happens to us, we can only control how we react.

You can change who you are - you can change how you do things - you can change your perception of things because if I can do it, anyone can do it - you just have to want to do it.

How much do you like who you are and how much
would you like to change ?
And if there are things you would like to change,
why haven't you ?
 
Because it is Tuesday that means it is time to join in with Jess from Essentially Jess for #IBOT.  Have you joined in today ?

Have the best week E.V.E.R. !!
 
TFTD : Time decides who you meet in your life. Your heart decides who you want in your life. But your behavior decides who will stay in your life.

52 comments:

  1. Nice one - i totally get you. As time goes on i see myself being so much more flexible too. I guess we realise being caught up in controlling things out of our control doesn't get us anywhere. Your hubby is a trooper!

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    1. For sure he is a trooper - I know I couldn't do what he does !!!!
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  2. You are so right about being able to change anything within yourself, if you so wish to! I am sorry it was such a cruddy weekend, but at least you got a spa and to spend some time with your love. Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses lovely

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    1. The spa was a life saver on Saturday night - I have to be totally honest !!!! The fact that I had a good book helped too !
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  3. Whenever I read your posts I see so much of myself in you. I used to be inflexible too and I hated people changing my plans. Life is much easier when you learn to let go, but the letting go is hard. I am glad that you got to spend some time with your hubby, boo to him having to work though :( Change takes time, but if you keep focussed it does happen.

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    1. You are so right - life is so much easier when you are flexible - it truly does help things run more smoothly.
      I love that others can see themselves in me and the things that I write - it means that I am not as totally different as I thought I was !!!
      Have a great evening !
      Me

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  4. I'm sorry your weekend wasn't a good one, it must have been very stressful! I think the things about me that I'd like to change haven't been changed yet because deep down, I worry about 'what if', way too much. I really should work on that, I know, but at the moment it just sounds like one more chore to add to the list!

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    1. I have, over the years, come to the realisation that worrying about the 'what ifs' or the things that I have no control over, really doesn't get me anywhere - except for my knickers - they get in a big knot !! If I can change it, I sometimes worry about it, if I can't change it - I move on and put my energy into something I can make a difference to.
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  5. oh my, what an incredible story and an even more incredible weekend! I don't think I have the patience to sustain that sort of thing. Very impressed that you not only managed to get through it all, you wrote about it with inspiration and while being the positive the whole time, well done xx

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    1. Thanks Josefa - I think that, in the past, that was what got me down - myself and looking at the negative side of everything. It really doesn't take more energy to look at the positive and the end result is so much nicer. I'm not saying that I don't ever get negative about things but I do try to look for the positives when I can.
      Have a great week !
      Me

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  6. Well done on the patience and flexibility front - sounds like a very trying weekend. I think if we change ourselves to be flexible then we are more ready to change despite our fears and when opportunities arise, as well as to cope with change that is thrust upon us.

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    1. Absolutely - that is exactly right ! I can take advantage of more opportunities when they arise because of looking for the positives in situations.
      Have the best evening !
      Me

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  7. What a shame you didn't get to have a relaxing weekend with your man, but good on you for deciding to keep him company while he worked. It's given you a fantastic insight into your man, his company, and all the cr@p he has to put up with, and you will be able to picture it in your mind when you chat on the phone.

    I think it's a maturity thing, that as we get older, we realise that having a hissy fit and stamping our feet when things don't go the way we want them to, only upsets us and those nearest to us - and as in your case, time with our loved ones is rare and precious enough without ruining it with temper tantrums!

    Visiting from #TeamIBOT xxx

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    1. That is exactly right - when he was talking to me today I was asking him about the numbers we had been getting and what he was getting today - it certainly made it more 'real' for me.
      I think you are right - it is a maturity thing - realising that accepting what is going on is so much less exhausting than trying to change it to what I want !! And yes, spending the little time we had together wearing my cranky pants would have just been a waste of the cost of the flights !
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  8. This regular work widow feels you! My Mr's travelled so often for work, frequently to my dream cities, ALWAYS leaving over the weekend in order to arrive at his destination for the Northern Monday. I tell you, if we could just have all those lost weekends back, even via monetary compensation, we'd be luxuriating at a resort right now for at least a month.

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    1. It sucks when Mr's work away from home doesn't it !!! Apart from when A was working in Taiwan (and K and I did get to go there on holiday so we did see it) the places he lands up working in aren't really places that are high on my list of "To See" cities/towns/dorpies - so I am not normally jealous of where he is going - just with the fact that he has to go at all.
      It sucks that he has to leave in time for work on Monday morning - travelling in your own time is awful. It's a bit like A - the week he has off is unpaid - thank goodness that the overtime he works when he is away is enough to make up for the week that he is unpaid.
      Have a great week !
      Me

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  9. Loved reading this. I used to be very inflexible and intolerant, but think I have changed quite a lot over the last few years too. Thankfully Boatman agrees :)

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    1. Life is so much easier and so much more pleasant when I am flexible and tolerant of changed arrangements !!!!
      Have the best evening !
      Me

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  10. What a fresh perspective you have on the situation. I need to approach more things in life like that. It sounds like such a bloody stressful time you both had despite your high expectations - yet you walked away with more admiration for the guy. You're both lucky to have each other. I hope our relationship is as healthy when we've been together for this long. It's all in the perspective I take to it I guess

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    1. Honestly, there was no way I could not admire him even more with what he has to put up with ! This morning the strap on his laptop bag came unclipped and it fell off his shoulder and smashed. Now, I have seen what they look like carrying all the stuff they can't leave in the car overnight - I am certain that his boss has not and has no idea of what it takes to move all this stuff every morning and every night. Anyway, the gist of the conversation with his boss is that we have to replace the computer - which just infuriates me no end. It would be insured and really - accidents happen - isn't that what insurance is for ? They are a huge company - you can't tell me claiming one computer on their insurance policy is going to increase their premiums. I said at the most I felt we should pay the excess but that is all. Have to wait and see what happens !
      We are definitely lucky to have each other although sometimes I think I am luckier than he is !!!!
      Have a great week !
      Me

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  11. Man you have more patience than me, I think I have gotten worse as I have gotten older.... lol. Hope the company pays for the laptop... Have a lovely week :)

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    1. Maybe we all do a swop around as we get older !!! LOL
      Have the best day and hopefully we will have used all our cr*ppy weather up by the time you get here !
      I also hope the company will pay - I can only hope !!!
      Me

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  12. I was a list girl, had to be organised, didn't like surprises and doubted myself all the time.
    That has changed most of the time.
    Lists just lead to feelings of failure when they are not completed.
    If you don't do things because they don't fit into your plans you run the risk of missing out on amazing adventures.
    Sometimes I have to take a deep breath and remind myself to chill but I would hate to go back to the person I was.
    You have a wonderful week xxx

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    1. Thank you Lovely Lady - you too !!!!
      I must be honest, I still have lists - I just don't live and die by the lists like I used to !
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  13. Well done hon!
    I think I'm the opposite these days... getting more and more used to lists and being organised. Oh dear!
    Sorry you had such a screwed up weekend with A. I feel so sorry for him too, he must be a saint.
    xxx

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    1. Oh for sure he is a saint - actually it wasn't that long ago I posted about how he was a saint except then I realised that he would have to be dead to be a saint so then I just said he was a really really nice guy !!!
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  14. That was a rubbish weekend, your owed. Poor A. Change, yes, easy to do no, works for a bit, then I forget and then I open my mouth and it runs away without me, every bloody time. xxx

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    1. And I am like that too - sometimes I open my mouth and it just runs away without me !! And it is too late for me to reign in it and I have to go back and apologise !
      Have a great break !
      Me

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  15. How frustrating!! Good in you for being so flexible and patient. I would have lost my shiz ;)

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    1. I think the main reason I didn't lose it was because I knew that it wasn't his fault - he wouldn't have done it if he had an option but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  16. You are a wise person dear, you managed to get the positive out of the worst situation. A is very lucky to have you. Mind the busy weekend, at least you got to see him, right? :)

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    1. Thanks Rina - not sure about a wise person - think I am just realising that the more I go with the flow the easier it is !!! And the lest angst I cause for myself.
      Yes, seeing him was the best thing of the whole weekend - even if it was in a cr*ppy work ute most of the time ! Being able to lie next to him to go to sleep and wake up next to him was the best !
      Have a great day !
      Me

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  17. I definitely think we are all capable of changing. We just have to want too. I definitely want to be the type of person who can be flexible and venture a little more out of my comfort zone. Such a shame your weekend didn't go as planned and good on you for taking it so well!

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    1. I think that is the key thing - you have to want to change otherwise you are fighting a losing battle. Good luck with venturing out of your comfort zone.
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  18. I'm sorry the weekend didn't turn out as expected but good on you for being able to go with the flow and just enjoy the little bit of time you got together. I loved this post - very inspiring!

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    1. Thank you for your kind works Kirsty ! There is a lot to be said for just enjoying the time we had together and not wearing 25 pairs of cranky pants about something I had no control over.
      Have the best week !
      Me

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    2. Thanks also for stopping by to comment while you are on holiday !!!
      Mwah !

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  19. I am guilty of having to write lists and control everything, however I am learning to be more flexible and go with the flow. Its good you don't stress as much when you let go. Its a slow process changing years of embedded behaviour but I am getting there.

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    1. Good for you - you are right - it is a slow process but it is so worth it in the end - good luck and keep it up !
      Have a great day !
      Me

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  20. I always remember this quote and that is change is the only constant. I used to be more adaptable to changes. But as I get older, I tend to resist it more. Thanks for the reminder to embrace change.

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    1. That is a great quote that I haven't heard for a very long time - thank you for reminding me about it - it certainly is very true !
      I think we all need to be reminded of things we have forgotten at some point in our lives - good luck with embracing change !
      Have a great week !
      Me

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  21. Sorry your weekend was not the best :(
    I am pretty sure I like everything about me most of the time.
    At times I can be weak which pisses me off. BUt then I toughen up again.

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    1. So good to hera that you like everything abotu yourself most of the time - that is what I am working towards !!!
      Good for you for toughening up when you need to.
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  22. Wow, I can't imagine the level of frustration he must operate at on a daily basis. I would go nuts! Well done for trying so hard to go with the changing flow of your weekend.
    I really like who I am now, and I am okay with it if others don't like me. My in-laws have told me quite clearly and publicly (facebook!!) that they don't like me.. that's okay, as long as my husband likes me its all good :-)

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    1. For sure - so long as hubby loves you that is the main thing. While my inlaws haven't actually come out and said it, I have a good idea that they don't particularly like me - mainly because A likes to get involved in what we do as a family and doesn't just sit in his chair and have everyone wait on him !!! He changed nappies, he cleaned, he fed, he bathed, he cooked, he washed up and, shock horror, he actually would look after his child while I was working or studying !!! How dare I 'make' him do all those 'womanly' things !!!!!
      It's great that you like who you are - there is nothing more empowering than that (well I don't think anyway !!!)
      HAve a great week !
      Me

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  23. I was just thinking what a saint you are for coping with all this, and then I read the end. We can change how we perceive things. I am probably more toward the person you used to be. I do roll with many punches sent my way (you have to really) but I still get very stroppy when things aren't going the way I want (all structured and wrapped up in a pretty bow).
    I am trying to get on a new roll, particularly in regard to my health and hope a new perspective and view of things may help.
    Becc @ Take Charge Now

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    1. Thank Becc - and a saint isn't anywhere close to what I am although thank you for thinking that as you were reading !!!! Absolutely you have to roll with the punches that come our way - I used to get really fed up when things changed and I didn't get things done the way I planned and then I realised that, for me, I spent lots of time being upset and not really enjoying life - that was the turning point for me. Sometimes I still get like that but it is only momentarily - when I realise that is what I am doing, I snap out of it and go with the flow.
      I think it is really difficult when your health is involved. I have had a really cr*ppy day today and I am wondering if it may be because my health is not going the way I expected it to go and I am getting tired of dealing with the unknown. I really should just suck it up because you have been dealing with the unknown for a lot longer than I have !!!
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  24. Well done you for changing and recognising the changes and appreciating their benefits.

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    1. Thanks Seana - there certainly are huge benefits to be had when I relax a little and don't get my knickers in a knot over 'stuff' I have no control over !!
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  25. Wow what an action-packed weekend L - and from what I've read your husband deserve a medal - he must be a very patient man. And go you for being so adaptable, it must be nice to hear those words from him. And ice-cream for dinner, YUMMO. I need to change a bit, be less cranky, more understanding :) Em xx

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    1. FOR SURE A needs a medal - anyone who has put up with me for over 27 years deserves a whole bloody case of medals !!!!
      I think he knew that I was so over everything and we weren't going to find much in the way of a meal in Townsville at 9.30pm - better get an ice-cream from the servo in Ayr than nothing in Townsville when we got there !!!
      It's so hard when you have three little ones - at least I really only have myself to worry about to a large extent.
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  26. Well, there's a lot things I would love to change about myself. I wish I was more happy. I wish I wasn't so angry a lot of the time and I wish I wasn't so tired all the time! I do love the fact that I like to have deep and meaningful conversations with people and I class myself as a good listener.

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Have the best day.

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