This week I am joining in with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I Must Confess because I need to get this off my chest (OK, I have already got it off my chest to A) but in order to be held more accountable and, given he doesn't live at home much, I thought I would put it out there.
A few months ago I started a paleo lifestyle, at the instigation of my doctor when she told me that I would more than likely become diabetic within 5 years if I didn't do something about it. So I went cold turkey - cut out wheat, sugar and dairy. There was the odd occasion when I felt like an ice-cold Coke and I would generally wait a night or two and if I still felt like it, I would have it, and savour every single drop of it. I found this rather strange as I have, as a rule, not been a Coke girl - I drank Coke Zero for many years and then swopped to Pepsi Max and couldn't stomach 'real' Coke.
I have made coconut rough and chocolate fudge, chocolate cake and banana and nut muffins - all in an attempt to make me feel like I wasn't missing out on any of the 'nice' things to eat. And they are nice, make no mistake BUT they are not sugar, nor do they contain sugar.
I like sugar. I like how it tastes. I like the things that are made of sugar. I would rather have dessert than dinner. I do not like how sugar makes me feel. But, as I have mentioned before, I don't handle sugar very well. When I have something with sugar in, I generally crash about 20-30 mins later and will sleep for a good 4-5 hrs if given the chance.
Since A has been away, and more especially while K was away house-sitting, my eating has gone to absolute cr*p. I would make one big wok of stir fry on a Monday night and then take it to work for lunch every day. Dinner became carrot sticks and dip, or dry wors if I could be bothered to go out to Coomera to buy some, or Coke. Yes, you read that right - I would have one can, then another, then another and finally another - and none of them even really touched sides - I would skull them all - and then be too full to eat anything (funny that, hey !!!???) On Friday I stopped at Bakers Delight and bought two croissants for breakfast. We stopped at Stapleton on the way to the airport and I had a muffin for lunch. Got to Townsville and we went to the local hotel and had ribs and chips for dinner. I had sugar overload badly on Friday. My body didn't like it one little bit. Why do I do this to myself ? I know I am going to feel cr*p afterwards - I could hardly keep a conversation going with K on the way to the airport as I was so out of it from the sugar, and nodding off in the passenger seat,
Honestly, I have absolutely no idea what has happened to the good eating habits that I used to have but what I do know is that I have to find them soon. I am hoping to use our holiday as motivation to eat right and get moving and I am hoping that, having made this confession, my village will hold me accountable for what I do (or don't do) moving forward. I know that I need to be held accountable somewhere and with spending so much time by myself, it is too easy to just eat and drink what I want when I want it. A is doing so well with losing weight - while he doesn't know how much he has lost because he doesn't have a scale up there, I could certainly see it and when I asked him about it he said that he has had to pull his belt in to the next hole. I am SOOOOOOOO happy for him although I am just sorry that he had to get a health scare like this to make him do what he needs to do. Either way, I'm extremely proud of the progress that he has made.
I will try to post about how I am doing but if you don't read anything, please feel free to ask how I am going and kick my butt if that is what I need !!!!
Have the best week and thanks to Kirsty for hosting this linky !!!
TFTD : No matter how much it hurts now, someday you will look back and realise your struggles changed your life for the better.