Monday 1 July 2013

I Must Confess

This week I am joining in with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I Must Confess because I need to get this off my chest (OK, I have already got it off my chest to A) but in order to be held more accountable and, given he doesn't live at home much, I thought I would put it out there.

A few months ago I started a paleo lifestyle, at the instigation of my doctor when she told me that I would more than likely become diabetic within 5 years if I didn't do something about it.  So I went cold turkey - cut out wheat, sugar and dairy.  There was the odd occasion when I felt like an ice-cold Coke and I would generally wait a night or two and if I still felt like it, I would have it, and savour every single drop of it.  I found this rather strange as I have, as a rule, not been a Coke girl - I drank Coke Zero for many years and then swopped to Pepsi Max and couldn't stomach 'real' Coke.

I have made coconut rough and chocolate fudge, chocolate cake and banana and nut muffins - all in an attempt to make me feel like I wasn't missing out on any of the 'nice' things to eat.  And they are nice, make no mistake BUT they are not sugar, nor do they contain sugar.

I like sugar.  I like how it tastes.  I like the things that are made of sugar.  I would rather have dessert than dinner.  I do not like how sugar makes me feel.  But, as I have mentioned before, I don't handle sugar very well.  When I have something with sugar in, I generally crash about 20-30 mins later and will sleep for a good 4-5 hrs if given the chance.

Since A has been away, and more especially while K was away house-sitting, my eating has gone to absolute cr*p.  I would make one big wok of stir fry on a Monday night and then take it to work for lunch every day.  Dinner became carrot sticks and dip, or dry wors if I could be bothered to go out to Coomera to buy some, or Coke.  Yes, you read that right - I would have one can, then another, then another and finally another - and none of them even really touched sides - I would skull them all - and then be too full to eat anything (funny that, hey !!!???)  On Friday I stopped at Bakers Delight and bought two croissants for breakfast.  We stopped at Stapleton on the way to the airport and I had a muffin for lunch.  Got to Townsville and we went to the local hotel and had ribs and chips for dinner.  I had sugar overload badly on Friday.  My body didn't like it one little bit.  Why do I do this to myself ?  I know I am going to feel cr*p afterwards - I could hardly keep a conversation going with K on the way to the airport as I was so out of it from the sugar, and nodding off in the passenger seat,

Honestly, I have absolutely no idea what has happened to the good eating habits that I used to have but what I do know is that I have to find them soon.  I am hoping to use our holiday as motivation to eat right and get moving and I am hoping that, having made this confession, my village will hold me accountable for what I do (or don't do) moving forward.  I know that I need to be held accountable somewhere and with spending so much time by myself, it is too easy to just eat and drink what I want when I want it.  A is doing so well with losing weight - while he doesn't know how much he has lost because he doesn't have a scale up there, I could certainly see it and when I asked him about it he said that he has had to pull his belt in to the next hole.  I am SOOOOOOOO happy for him although I am just sorry that he had to get a health scare like this to make him do what he needs to do.  Either way, I'm extremely proud of the progress that he has made.

I will try to post about how I am doing but if you don't read anything, please feel free to ask how I am going and kick my butt if that is what I need !!!!

Have the best week and thanks to Kirsty for hosting this linky !!!

TFTD : No matter how much it hurts now, someday you will look back and realise your struggles changed your life for the better.

27 comments:

  1. Moderation is the key!!! I love real coke and cannot wait for a can or 2 in a few weeks time!! You have to treat yourself every now and again just know when to stop!!

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    1. When I am doing paleo properly, I try to follow the 980/10 rule - if I can eat clean 90% of the time and have things in moderation for the other 10%, I am happy.
      Enjoy that coke when you have it !!!
      Have the best day and take care of yourself - only 20 days to go if you can hang on that long !!!
      Me

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  2. You sound like you have been doing awesomely with no sugar. I find it so hard to keep going with healthy eating when I only have to make a meal for myself. When DS is at daycare my eating goes out the window. I either don't have anything to eat all day or I get takeaway on my way home from dropping him off. Good luck with getting back on the horse xx

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    1. Thanks Tegan - it definitely seems to be easier when the others are around.
      I have done my squats today so that is a plus and so far,my eating has been good - long may it continue !!!
      Have a great week !
      Me

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  3. When it is the right time you WILL do it!! It is hard to go cold turkey on things like that and I have looked in to the Paleo way of eating and have had friends tell me I should give up sugar and dairy but when I read about it I just knew that I couldn't do it now, it's not the right time. I am SO in love with dairy more than sugar but I could not give it up just yet. SO cut back, do what you can and what is realistic and achievable and when the time is right you'll stop altogether!
    You can do it!

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    1. It's funny - when I first went paleo, it was easier than now - I seem to be a little scattered with stuff and it seems to show up in my eating - that is also scattered - especially when I can't be bothered cooking for one !
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  4. Hey we all fall of the wagon now and then, so pick yourself up, dust yourself off...and climb back on again. Baby steps...

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    1. You are right - that is all that I can do - pick myself up and start again !!!
      It's good to know that others understand. Have a great day !
      Me

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  5. As a die-hard Coke fiend, I can relate to this. My problem is I am addicted to Diet Coke, and I find myself easily able to justify drinking as much as I do because it has no sugar. But it does have lots of caffeine, and that is really kicking my butt at the moment. But if I cut down on the caffeine, I will increase my sugar intake, it's a lose-lose situation. Good luck with your diet, you can do this!

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    1. I used to drink copious amounts of coke zero and then pepsi max - now after cutting the sugar out for a few months, I cannot stand the taste of either of them - I would rather have real coke or nothing.
      Good luck - it is so hard !
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  6. Sometimes going cold turkey can make it so hard and so much more tempting to actually fall off the wagon. I felt that way when I had gestational diabetes - managed it extremely well when I had it, then as soon as the babies were born, I just went nuts with sugar each time when it had gone away (because I "could"). I know it's a little different, but sometimes I think moderation (with anything) is the key.

    I hope you find your good habits - you were going so well, you can do it again!

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    1. You are right - I just need to find my good habits again - they were there so I should be able to find them again !
      Have the best day !
      Me
      PS - are we still on for #vvow on Friday ?

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    2. Yes please! I've just tweeted about it. I'll try to write a blog post this week, as I haven't even done a wrap up of the last one yet!

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  7. I find the crappier I feel on the inside eg. run down or tired, the more I reach for the convenience foods...I don't drink much soft drink anymore.. I do crave sugar snacks from the bakery but don't feel strict enough to cut it out completely. Good for you for recognising the changes that need to be made.

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    1. Definitely - when I don't feel that great, it is easier to eat cr*p. A called me this morning to offer me some croissants from the bakery in Ayr where we went yesterday - it was just delicious !!! I find it really hard to say no to things from a bakery - chocolate is a little easier to say no to because normal chocolate is just too sweet for me - but pastries etc - so hard !!!
      Have a great day !
      Me

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  8. I love sugar to and Diet Coke, have tried to give up the diet coke, lasts a few days then I start all over again lol... Looking forward to meeting you later this month or early August :)

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    1. I gave up the diet coke/coke zero/pepsi max after I had cut it out for a while and then went back to drink it and it just tasted horrible to me.
      I'm looking forward to meeting you too - as soon as I know when A is home I will be in touch so that we can firm up a meeting time.
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  9. Be strong and stop punishing yourself. Plan, plan plan or if you don't plan you plan to fail. You can do it, I think it's easier to fall of the wagon when someone isn't sitting on your shoulder, so being home alone will be tough. xxx

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    1. Thanks Rae - you are right - I need to be organised and have a plan !!! I have hooked up with a lady who also started a squat challenge today so we are going to stay in touch every night to see how we are doing - that has to be a good thing right ?
      Have the best day !
      Me
      PS - still battling to comment on your blog- will mail you my comment tomorrow !

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  10. I'm glad you could share this with your village - know that you are not alone and that we are here to kick your butt if you need it!

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    1. Thank you for helping to provide that village for me and thank you for taking on the challenge of kicking my butt when I need it !!!
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  11. Having been there and currently on fluids with a failing pancreas and diabetic issues, you really do need to take this seriously. Have you considered visiting a diabetes educator/nutritionist it might be an easier way to ease yourself into an eating plan/diet that works for you. You also need to find a sugar substitute something that doesn't leave you feeling deprived and they might be able to suggest a supplement that would help curve any sugar cravings.

    Wishing you all the best with it and looking forward to following your journey.

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    1. I;m sorry to hear of your health issues - they always suck no matter what they are !!!! I haven't been to a nutritionist but thank you for the recommendation - I will have a look into that. Maybe I do need to find a supplement that helps to curb those sugar cravings.
      Have a great week !
      Me

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  12. Don't forget how far you've come. You are doing well. Don't loose sight of the goal. It's certainly not that easy, however take each day as it comes. As Kristy says, we will kick your butt!!!! It's call a sugar-intervention!!

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    1. Thanks Jen - I think it is hard for me to see how far I have come when I look back and see how well I was doing until this whole menopause thing hit. I am trying to stay really positive and just keep looking forward at the things that I can improve.
      Anytime you think I need a kick in the butt or a sugar-intervention - please step in - I know I will appreciate it !!!
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  13. Humans are funny creatures aren't they? Even when we know something is not the best we keep on going. Why? Who knows? I do know that you need to remember how great you feel when you make all right choices. Which is always easier said than done I know. Each day is a new beginning and a fresh start. Just keep keeping on lovely xx

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  14. Being a big sugar fiend I know how hard it is to give it up!! Have tried & failed several times! These days I try to use more sugar substitutes that are natural like coconut palm sugar, rapadura, agave or rice syrup - but I just can't bring myself to leave it out completely!! It sounds like you're doing well with it apart from this little sidestep - that's to be admired I think!! :)

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I love getting comments - please feel free to leave a comment to let me know you were here !
Have the best day.

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