Tuesday 4 June 2013

Does My Butt Look Big In This ?

I know that this is a loaded question that not many of us are not keen to ask and, our partners are probably not happy to answer, feeling that they are in a bit of a no-win situation - tell the truth and we are liable to smack them, tell a lie and we go out, not looking our best.

But, on Friday night I asked the question of K and I could see the indecision in her face - she wanted to tell me the truth that yes, my butt did look big but she was afraid of hurting me.  When I said that I thought it was too big for the outfit she, hesitatingly, agreed but said that if I wore my jacket when I was standing up or walking and took it off when I was sitting, I would be fine.  I did wear my jacket when I wasn't sitting down but this evening made me realise that, while I have accepted that my weight is what it is, due to circumstances beyond my control, I am still not happy with how I look.  I avoid mirrors and big glass windows as best I can - which does make me sad because I can remember that it wasn't that long ago that I was a bit of a mirror whore and would check out my figure when I walked past a window.  I need to stay focused on getting my health to where it should be.  As I said, while I have accepted  my weight for what it is, it doesn't mean that I am happy about it.  I posted that photo of me after The Color Run but it took me ages to actually post it - when I look at that photo, I don't like what I see.  Yes, I managed to finish the walk (it definitely wasn't 5kms but that is OK) and I am trying really hard to hold onto the fact that I said that if I could finish it I would be happy. 

Now, anyone who knows me will know that I am not a big dress/skirt fan.  I do jeans.  I do slacks.  I don't do dresses.  Or at least I didn't do dresses until I lost a whole heap of weight, when suddenly I had self confidence and I wore dresses with tights and flats and I felt good.  Fast forward 26kgs and a few months and my self confidence is hitting rock bottom, so much so I got home from work on Friday afternoon and said to K that I thought I should phone and cancel my catch up with CrashTest Mummy as I didn't know if I could go through with it.  NOT that there is anything scary about CrashTest Mummy, it's just that I am shy and I don't do meeting new people well at all.  There was no way she was letting me cancel.  She even said she would drop me off and I could text her when we were finished and she would come and pick me up so that I didn't have the stress of trying to find the hotel and then worry about parking for the evening.  So we did this.  We got there far too early because we left home too early but she wouldn't leave me there - we sat in the car chatting about our day and what had happened at work.  She really went out of her way to relax me before I got out the car.

CrashTest Mummy and I had a wonderful meal at Yamagen at QT Hotel and chatted like we had known each other for ages.  I really am so pleased that I didn't cancel !!!!  She suggested that I try to find a buddy before Problogger to meet up with so that we could arrive together so if there is anyone reading this who is going to Problogger and wouldn't mind me tagging along with them - let me know.  If you are local, maybe we can meet before then and if you aren't local, maybe I can get you from the airport or catch up the night before.

So, yes, my butt did look big in the outfit that I had on but K said that it was better than wearing black slacks and a granny top (I didn't realise I had granny tops but, apparently I do !!!) and, at the end of the day, a big butt is a big butt is a big butt, it is very hard to disguise !! 

And, if you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the question !

Today is Tuesday which means it is the day I a lot of bloggers link in with Essentially Jess for #IBOT - why not pop over and read some amazing blogs ?

Have the best day and take care !

TFTD : Everyone deserves something that makes them look forward to tomorrow.  
And because I couldn't make up my mind as to which one was most relevant to me today here is another TFTD 
If you’re struggling, that means you’re growing.

53 comments:

  1. Hey Happy to go along to Problogger with you. I have a feeling that our butts just about always look bigger then we hope them to - I know I felt that way on my yoga retreat on the weekend, even if in reality I was in the mid-range butt size (if only we could be happy with our size, no ifs and butts (he he).

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    1. LOL Kathy - thanks for the offer to go to Problogger with me - I would love that !!!! You are right - if only we could be happy with our size - LOL !
      Have the best week !
      Me

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    2. so excited to read you will be there - i will see you BOTH there.

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  2. A is such a sweetheart - so glad you went and so glad she supported you / pushed you lol. xxx

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    1. Yes, sometimes I need that little nudge and she is good for that !!!
      Have a great day !
      Me

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  3. Aww, I think everyone feels this way sometimes. I am going to Problogger too, I would love to meet up with you and be your friend! I am flying in on the Thursday afternoon, if you are around it would be cool to do dinner :)

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    1. Thanks Eleise - I would love to catch up for dinner on Thursday night. If there any any others who would like to join us that would be great too.
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  4. I only wear dresses because of my big fat butt - bring back the bustle I say, I've got one built in!
    As for pro blogger - you'll be fine!! I wish I was going, cos we could go together. But you know everyone (on twitter) so they'll all be wanting to meet u in person..,you'll be swamped!

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    1. LOL - that is it exactly - I have my own built in bustle - why didn't I think of that ?????????????
      It would be great if you were going - we will have to organise a catch up another time instead !!!
      LOL - you are so funny - I can't imagine that there will be many people who will be wanting to meet me - I really am a nobody in the blogging world !!!!
      Have a great week and thanks again for the laughs !
      Me

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  5. Got to love kids, and I also wear skirts and dresses because of my big butt, it hides it well. I had to wear trousers when I was working I hated hated it, an Steph loved me in trousers and thinks I should wear more. No thanks skirts and dresses for me all the way. And now I can say that next month I will be in Aussie, ok the end of the month but it is still next month :)

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    1. YAY for your holiday next month !!! I guess at the end of the day my butt looks big in both because it isn't as though one makes it look smaller than it is !!!!
      Have a great day !
      Me

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  6. I wish I was going to problogger too, you will be swamped with people and won't be able to catch your breath with all the talking! You'll see!

    I am very glad you didn't cancel your meetup, you would have really regretted it later. And sounds like it was just what you needed.

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    1. Thanks Sophie - I think once I stop being over whelmed, I will be fine - it is just that inital walk in that I am dreading (well actually I am dreading more but that would be the worst I think !!)
      Yes, meeting up with Laney was great.
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  7. It is really hard when you feel down about your body. I feel like that intermittently too.
    But you are right to focus on what you CAN do - that is something that I am learning - instead of worrying about the number on the scales, think about the pushups I can now do, that my squats are getting better, that I AM (albeit not as much as I should) doing physical activity and exercise.

    I think you seem like one of the nicest people that I have "met" in this new twitter/ blogging world, and you need to know that and feel proud of yourself.

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    1. I am trying so hard to love my body but when it doesn't do what it is supposed to do, it is very hard !!!
      Thank you for those kind words - I appreciate them more than you know !!!
      Have a great week !
      Me

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  8. Enjoy problogger!! I agree with all the other comments, you definitely needed to go for your meet up the other day!!

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    1. Thanks Ann - once I get over my nerves I am sure I will have a great time !
      Good luck for your last 8 weeks !
      Me

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  9. awww wish i was problogging, id love to catch up and have a chow pow before hand!!!

    PS. We are our own worst critics.. i used to have melt downs in front of the mirro and i was smaller than I am now.. Now i think, eff it... I am who I am, and as logn as I am healthy, then thats THAT.

    Love to you Lady L x

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    1. Thanks Meagan - it would be lovely if you were coming to Problogger - another time maybe ??????
      Yes, I am definitely my own worst critic - I try not to be but most times I don't get that right !!!
      As you say - being healthy counts for more and right now that is what I have to concentrate on - getting to be as healthy as I can and worry about the weight after that. In the meantime by cutting out sugar, wheat and dairy I am doing what I can to make sure that I am not contributing to my weight gain.
      Love, hugs and positive energy !
      Me

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  10. I love that K stepped up and supported you in such a great way this past weekend, and, really, since A has been away. I know you aren't so comfortable with your appearance right now, but im really proud of you and how you are working through these concerns, and also focusing on what is in your control xx

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    1. Thank you Lyndal - yes, I have been pleasantly surprised as how considerate and thoughtful she has been since A has been away - sometimes I look at her and wonder who replaced my child with this amazing young lady !!!!!
      Have the best Tuesday and I hope that today has been better than yesterday for you !
      Love, hugs and positive energy !
      Me

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  11. My tummy is my issue. My baby is 8 months old now and I still look pregnant. Sigh. So when I ask my husband, "do I look fat in this?" I always get a yes. Sigh. Perhaps what I really should be asking is "do I have another outfit that I have that looks better on me?". Hmm, might try that one out next time...

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    1. That's a great way to look at it - 'Do I have another outfit that looks better on me ?' - will have to change my thinking to this !!!
      Thanks for sharing.
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  12. I was exactly the same last week, when I met up with a group of bloggers (wish you were there!). I've put on stacks of weight lately and didn't feel so confident, but so glad I went! I think we just have to accept we are who we are at the time.
    At the moment, I'm not going to Problogger, but who knows? If I do, you'll definitely have one more to walk in with. xx

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    1. Oh Lisa - I also wished I could be there. Don't forget I owe you a massage/reflexology session !
      You are right - it is about accepting ourselves for who we are, however we look at the time - what I look like doesn't change who I am - it just changes my perception (and possibly other's perceptions) of me.
      If you do land up going, definitely we can go together !!!
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  13. You? Big butt? NEVER!! So glad you didn't cancel, I only WISH I could have met up with Crash Test Mummy too! xxx

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    1. Sorry but 26kgs will do that to a relatively decent butt !!!!! Clearly it's been too long between catch ups if you think my butts not too big !!!!!!LOL
      Have the best day and take care of yourself !!!!
      Me

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  14. We are so rapped up on our own self image aren't we... I've put on about 15kg over the past year because I had a nervous breakdown that made everything stop.
    So I'm working through that too! And I totally agree with if you are struggling you are growing... I love this. This has encouraged me today. Thank you!

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    1. I'm glad it helped you Judy. Doesn't it suck that when things turn to poo it seems to be our weight that suffers ???
      Have a great week !
      Me

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  15. Ahhh...I don't wear dresses either (well rarely). I've gained weight and while my bum IS big, it's my tummy that is MASSIVE. Pants and loose tops do the trick to hide stuff. I wish I was going to Problogger - wanted to but then I paid for a photography course which meant the finances had taken enough of a bashing for awhile. I hope you have a great time! Look forward to hearing all about it. Min xo

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    1. Ooooh a photography course - I am wanting to do one of those. If only there was an endless supply of money from the local money tree we wouldn't have to choose between Problogger or a photography course - we could do them both !!!!
      Where are you doing it and do you think it was worth the money ?
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  16. And now I have that damn song in my head! I swear today is the only day the kids haven't sang it in ages, and now all I can hear in my head is "I like big butts and I cannot lie...." Thanks for that... not!

    K is s sweety, no doubt about it :) I hope my kids are like that as they get older.

    My kids will say straight out if I look yuck in something. Mr18 is the usual one I ask, because he's truthful no matter how bad the truth is. BUT he'll also give ideas on how to 'fix' what I'm wearing :)

    MC xx
    #teamIBOT

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    1. Sorry about the earworm !!!!!! Hope it isn't there today as well !
      Gotta love the honesty of children - where would we be without it ?
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  17. Good on you for getting out of your comfort zone, so hard to do for some of us, but you get such a great sense of satisfaction afterwards.

    Good luck at Problogger. I can't wait to hear all about it :)

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    1. I know - and then afterwards you look back and think - why did I worry so much about that ??????
      Will be sure to blog about Problogger once it is finished.
      Have a great day !
      Me

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  18. Jealous that you & your big butt got to meet Laney!!! I'm no stranger to the big butt dilemma. I was born with a big butt & big hips. For what it's worth, having seen your butt in person, I don't think it's that big at all, but it's how you FEEL that matters most. Sometimes you just have to work with what you've got & emphasise your other assets so you feel more confident. For example, you have such gorgeous skin, beautiful hair & a stunning smile xxx

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    1. Oh Nee - thank you for those lovely words.

      You are right - I should concentrate on my other features that don't annoy/upset me as much as my butt does - thanks for that - I am going to try to do that in the future.

      Take care of yourself and have the best day !
      Me

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  19. Pfft big butt and shy. You have been nothing but the sweetest, caring, concerning and open blogger I had met. I would have never said or thought of you as shy any of the times we've met up. You're wonderful gorgeous and special women and I'm glad you didn't cancel and you had a lovely time. X

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    1. LOL - thank you for your kind words Trudie. Once I get to know you, I can talk the hind leg off a donkey although sometimes I think I ramble heaps to cover up my shyness !!!
      Have a terrific day today !
      Me

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  20. So glad you went ahead with meeting Crash Test Mummy.

    I'm going to Problogger so look forward to meeting you there!!!! Even though we live in Brisbane, I've already twisted hubster's arm and we have booked our favourite holiday spot at Surfers so I don't have to commute :-)

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    1. I will be keeping an eye out for you Janet !!
      Glad you will be having a little holiday with your husband - mini breaks are always great.
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  21. When I was preggers with Ava, I had to go on bedrest for ten weeks, and so put on a lot more weight than I had with the other babies. After I had her, I really struggled, because it just didn't go, and I hated to look at me. I thought I was vile. Obviously I wasn't but that still didn't make it easy, and I imagine it must feel frustrating for you. Hope you can start to see your beautiful qualities much more clearly than your seeming 'flaws' which are not actually flaws at all. XXX

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    1. Thanks Jess - that is what I am going to concentrate on moving forward until these stupid health issues are sorted out and I can return to a 'normal' life !
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  22. It doesn't matter what size you are it's who you are, and I bet people aren't saying 'oh what a big butt you have'. Because your personality would just shine. I would have loved to go to Pro Blogger, got the email but no reply, guess there's always next year right. xxx

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    1. Thanks Rae - I do try not to let it get me down and most of the time I'm OK with it - just every now and again I catch sight of it and think "Man, that's a big butt" !!! As you say - it doesn't make me who I am - it's just a part of what I look like !
      Have a great week !
      Me

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  23. Don't talk to me about butts.... My excuse is baby weight *baby is two*
    Won't be going to PB but I hear it's just great. Enjoy the event. X

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    1. LOL - I think that using my 'baby' as an excuse is probably stretching it a little toooooooooooooooo far given she is 21yo !!!!
      I am sure that everyone will have a great time at PB - once we get over our nerves !
      Have a great day !
      Me

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  24. As the song goes people like big butts and they can not lie. It's great if you can do things for your self. Meeting new people is scary but it's probably good for you too. I'm always so scared to got o blogging events but once i am their and see most of the people know me i start to relax.
    Have fun at problogger and just introduce your self to everyone. Hand out your cards to everyone. it will get easier.

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  25. I'm so glad you didn't cancel your catch up! We all worry about our weight and our appearance - regardless of our actual size. If I was going to problogger, I would have loved to meet up with you xx

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  26. Finally catching up on IBOT after an extended weekend away.

    I know what you mean about those kind of features you hate, I met my husband's extended family for the first time on the weekend and went and bought a pair of spanks in the hope they wouldn't think I was pregnant - I hate carrying more weight than is comfortable!

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  27. What Josefa did. Everyone has something they don't like. I bet even Miranda Kerr does!... okay, maybe not.

    I'm glad you didn't let it stop you that night. And enjoy PB!

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  28. I can't wait to meet you at Problogger! And while you already have a buddy to arrive with, please look out for me! As for weight, meh, I think we all get so worried about it that we often forget to live and be happy. I have been guilty of that. I am happy where I am, kinda and while some might think I have nothing to complain about, it's all about how we view ourselves. GO YOU for doing the colour run xx Em

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  29. You looked fab on Friday! It was a lovely relaxing dinner and just so you know, I don't notice details like butts ;). Usually I'm feeling too self conscious about my mummy tummy to notice what others might be self conscious about!!!

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