Thankful Thursday

It's Thursday which means that it is Thankful Thursday over with Leigh at Six By The Bay.

- I am thankful that I remembered to make some notes during the week so that I didn't have to sit here trying to remember what made me thankful over the past week !!!!

- I am thankful for the sun that shone on Saturday - what a mood lifter that was.  Unfortunately we haven't seen the sun since then except for maybe one, no at least two minutes, this morning before it went back to hide behind the clouds again :(

- I am thankful for the clients that I have had this week.  On Monday I had a 90 minute massage to do and it was just lovely.  I know that my client enjoyed it but I wonder if she enjoyed it more than I did ?  Last night after running and eating dinner I had a 60 min massage with a gentleman who has issues with his legs, and the challenge to make someone feel better is always good.  I have another hour massage to do tonight - looking forward to it after I have been to training and had dinner.

- I am thankful for the coloured pens that I bought and have been using at work - I LOVE COLOURED PENS !!!

- I am thankful that A paused the TV last night so that I could watch the last 4 overs of the Ryobi Cup Final between QLD and VIC - what an exciting finish made even better by the fact that we won by 2 runs !!!  It was an amazing finish and I was so glad our boys managed to pull it off in the end.  So, we hold the Sheffield Cup, Big Bash League and now the Ryobi Cup - go Queensland !!!!!

- I am thankful for the fact that I had made up my mind that I was going to run last night unless it was absolutely p*ssing down with rain.  I have really wanted to get out there but the weather hasn't been playing along nicely at all - in fact it's just been bloody miserable.  I got home and it was drizzling so I got changed and set off, sans glasses as I hate water on my glasses.  About 1.5km into the run it started to rain a little harder but I kept going.  It let up not long after that and 5.69km later I was back home again SOOOOO pleased that I had got out there and run.  I then planked for a minute and was ready for dinner !!!!

- I am thankful for entering events which help to keep me motivated to exercise.  I am sure that if I didn't have events in the future to work towards, it would be too easy to come up with excuses for not exercising.

- I am thankful to Lisa from Random Acts of Zen for her generosity - I smile every time I see my bell.

- I am thankful to Leigh for hosting Thankful Thursday - it truly is one of my favourite linkies !!

- My BIGGEST and BESTEST thankful for today is that I am feeling sooooooooo much better.  This past week I have had more good days than bad.  I am in a much better head space than I have been for a long time.  My weight is still an issue BUT I know that I will get on top of it when the time is right - in the meantime I am working on being kind to myself.

Have the most amazing week !

TFTD : The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.  What we obtain too cheaply, we esteem too lightly - Thomas Paine

One Word

I would love to say that I remember who I copied this from but I would be lying because I don't remember at all BUT if you have posted it in the last year, please let me know so that I can acknowledge where I got it from !!!

Answer all of these with only one word - sometimes it isn't as easy as it looks !!!!!

1. Where is your mobile phone? Desk

2. Your hair? Dark

3. Your mother? Sewing

4. Your father? Hilarious

5. Your favourite food? Chocolate

6. Your dream last night? Scarey

7. Your favourite drink? Water

8. Your dream/goal? Travel

9. What room are you in? Lounge

10. Your hobby? Crocheting

11. Your fear? Heights

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Overseas

13. Where were you last night? Home

14. Something that you aren’t? Patient

15. Muffins? Blueberry

16. Wish list item? Kitchen

17. Where did you grow up? Durban

18. Last thing you did? Blogged

19. What are you wearing? Togs

20. Your TV? Off

21. Your pet? Dogs

22. Friends? Supportive

23. Your life? Emotional

24. Your mood? Thoughtful

25. Missing someone? Yes

26. Vehicle? New

27. Something you’re not wearing? Rings

28. Your favorite store? Stationery

29. Your favorite colour? Black

30. When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday

31. Last time you cried? Thursday

32. Your best friend? Loving

33. One place that I go to over and over? Work

34. One person who emails me regularly? Sister

35. Favorite place to eat? Frank's

Linking in with Jess at Essentially Jess because it's Tuesday which means it's time for #IBOT

Have the best week !!!

TFTD : Characterize people by their actions and you will never be fooled by their words.

I Must Confess

This Monday I am linking in with Kirsty at My Home Truths for I Must Confess except I am not confessing about the music I like - given I am very run of the mill and not the least bit out there when it comes to music.

Today I am confessing about what I did (or rather did not) get up to yesterday.  I did nothing (because I don't think reading and sleeping count as 'doing' stuff) ...... just about.  The.  Whole.  Day.

It was pouring with rain at about 5am, then again at about 6.30am and I think that I woke up, sort of, at about 7.30.  I lay in bed, enjoying the peace and quiet and started to read.  I think I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew, A was calling me as my folks had popped over to visit.

My Mom's leg is healing well and yesterday was her first outing since the operation.

We chatted for a while and then they left and A went to carry on with what he was doing - running cables to get power to the fridge on his back seat from the batteries in the back of the ute.  I went back to bed and lay there reading for a while.

At about 11am A came through to get me as some friends had popped over to drop off an invitation to a baby shower at Palazzo Versace (geez - the last place I need to go to for a baby shower - what am I going to wear ?????????????  If only I could pull off the look of an eccentric celebrity - but that ain't going to happen so I am going to have to either chop one leg off or buy something suitable to wear before the end of April)

After they left I went back to bed and read some more and then the next thing I knew it was 2.30pm and I had just woken up !!!!  I went through to the garage where A was working on the car and he just smiled at me and said "Hullo Sleepy Head - have you joined the land of the living again ?"  I said that I thought I may still be in the land of nod but I was slowly finding my way out !!!!

He said he had come through to ask me to come and give him a hand with some of the wiring but I was fast asleep so he just did something else but if I could help him that would be great. So I spent a couple of hours soldering and running wires with him.

I also took some time to sit and play with Alfie and Rosie and re-inforce the tricks I had taught Alfie and taught Rosie how to give high-5's - she was so funny !!!!!

It was K's turn to cook dinner to she did that when she got home from work and we ate and then watched some TV.

I don't know how long it has been since I have spent so much time doing not very much but I said to A that I felt like I really needed that.  I said that part of the problem was doing it and not feeling guilty which is what generally happens with me.

I said that I may need a few weekends like this one because during the week I have been feeling like everything is just getting too much - which on one level is so silly because my life really is so much easier than others that I know who have more than one child, have little children, are single parents - whatever - but at the end of the day, it is my life and I need to worry about doing what is right for me without worrying about how it may upset someone whose circumstances are different.

I feel more able to tackle what this week has to offer apart from the rain which I wish would bugger off for now.  I am totally grateful to the sun which came out on Saturday - I felt to much more energetic after seeing it and spending time outside (even though my body doesn't know how to metabolise vitamin D like it should !!!!)

Thanks again to the awesome Kirsty for hosting the linky today !!  Come on over and share your confession for the week !!!!

Have a great week !

TFTD : Nothing is worth more than this day. You cannot relive yesterday.  Tomorrow is stil beyond your reach.  - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Things I Know

Today is Friday which means it is the linky with the lovely Miss Cinders at Saturday Morning Ogre Mum because, as she always tells us, we all know sh*t !  And because it is Friday it is FYBF with the lovely Grace at With Some Grace

- I know that I have made some lovely new on-line friends in the past week, one of whom has made me my very own button (see down the right hand side) - how cute is that ????  Please feel free to us it !!  Thanks so much to the awesome Kate from Crazy. Crunchy. Chocolate. Mummy for doing this for me.

- I know that Lisa from Random Acts of Zen is an amazing lady who sent me the nicest parcel of items to include in my Pay It Forward project.

- I know that I went for a 4.5km run this week and it was heaps less painful than my runs from last week (and I didn't feel quite as poncy either - BIG bonus !!!)

- I know that I am extremely grateful that it is Friday today which means it is the weekend tomorrow !!

- I know that the on again off again travel arrangements for A at work drives me nuts but I have been really relaxed about it all.  Go with the flow has been my motto this week !

- I know that this rain is really starting to p*ss me off - I know that some people are in drought and I do feel for them but us having extra rain up here really doesn't help them - and it does nothing for my mental health or our water logged gardens.  I NEED to see the sun SOON - pretty please weather gods !

- I know that I am thankful that my Mom's operation went well and she is recovering nicely.  We are taking dinner over to them tonight.  When I spoke to them this morning she said that she had had a good sleep and was in a bit of pain but nothing unbearable.

- I know that I really need to make a note of the things I know during the week because I know some awesome stuff which completely eludes me when I sit down to write this post

- I know that I am p*ssy that the NAB Cup games are not included in our Suns membership - who can pay for an annual membership and then still pay $34.50pp for each of the NAB games.

- I know that I am going to have an awesome day at the office today - because. I. am. all. alone.  And, I came to work in my Warrior Dash T-shirt, my 3/4 jeans and my Sensible Sally shoes !!

And, because all the awesome stuff that I know is not coming to the fore, I will leave you with what little I do know !!

Have the best Friday and an even better weekend !

TFTD : Procrastination is not about not doing, it's about  not doing and feeling cr*ppy - David Allen

Thankful Thursday

It's been a while since I have linked in for Thankful Thursday - mainly because I have been a bit of a grump lately and battled to find things to be thankful for.  But, as we all know, if we want to find something to be thankful for, we can.  So, linking in with Leigh from Six By The Bay, here goes for what I am thankful for this week.

1.  I am thankful that my Mom is being operated on, as I type this, to cut out the cancer in her leg.  Here's to a successful operation.

2.  I am thankful for finding a new physio who, by changing my running style, has relieved most of the pain in my knee.

3.  I am thankful for a husband who is so supportive it makes me cry sometimes - the poor bugger really does need a medal for putting up with me while I go through menopause - may it leave like the wind !!!

4.  I am thankful for the fact that we both have jobs and, while we can't just spend willy nilly, we are comfortable and are no longer living from pay cheque to pay cheque.

5.  I am thankful for a job with a company which is really quite flexible - this has helped me no end the past couple of weeks.

6.  I am thankful for my new car - I would be even more thankful if we could sell the old car - anyone interested in buying a 2003 Nissan X-Trail or if you know someone who may be interested, please let me know !!!

7.  I am thankful for our dogs.  While I am not a fan of them, they do provide so much amusement and their unconditional love is second to none (especially when I get home and "Grumpy K" is on the couch !!!)

8.  I am thankful that today is Thursday and tomorrow is Friday which means the weekend is just a sniff away !!!

Thank you Leigh for hosting this linky - I will try to become a regular on here as I continue to embrace what I am thankful for.

TFTD : The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln

Liebster Award

Finally I have made the time to sit down and acknowledge a wonderful award from some amazing fellow bloggers.

In July last year CJ from Musing n Mayhem nominated me.  In November Vicki from Fit Mums Blog.  In January Zita from It's Time .  And then in February Seana from The Mum's Diet nominated me.  I have finally made the time to do this.  What I have done is take a combination of questions from each of them.

In case you don't know how this works - here goes :

1.  Post 11 things about yourself
2.  Answer 11 questions set by the person who tagged you
3.  Set 11 questions for the people you tag
4.  Tag 11 people
5.  Tell them that you have tagged them
6.  Read their replies and get to know more about the people who blog around you

11 Things About Myself

1.  I don't like cooking.

2.  I am inherently lazy.

3.  I was a flower girl for the lady whose daughter was my flower girl.

4.  I love listening to music but I am hopeless at names of artists or songs.

5.  My engagement ring has diamonds from my Gran's engagement ring, my Mom's engagement ring and my engagement ring - I love it and think of them every time I look at it.

6.  I was dux at senior primary school before going to high school.

7.  I often add up numbers on number plates when I am in the car.

8.  Generally if I am a passenger in the car for more than 20 mins, I will fall asleep, no matter what time of the day it is.

9.  After getting used to the taste of 70-80% chocolate, I don't enjoy 'normal' chocolate anymore but if I am really, really desparate, I will eat it.

10.  My first car (1983) was a 1960 Morris Minor that was chocolate brown and A had it spray-painted yellow for me even though we didn't really have the money to do that.  It was stolen when I was 7 or 8 months pregnant - I was very upset !!

11.  I love blogging and the people that I have met (IRL and online) through the internet.

11 Questions Asked By Those Who Tagged Me

1.  What item you won't leave home without ?  My phone

2.   I'd be happy if I never had to ____ again.  Clean the toilet

3.  What is your favourite guilty pleasure ?  Being in charge of the TV remote when nobody else is around.

4.  Are you a logical or lateral thinker ?  I am definitely a logical thinker.

5.  Where would you love to live the most ?  Toledo in Spain.  We visited there when we were on holiday and I just loved it.  The cobbled streets, the narrow roads and small doors were just magical.
 
6.  If you could change one thing about youself, what would it be and why ?  I would ask that I don't suffer with menopause because right now it is making me very miserable.

7.  Entree or dessert ?  DEFINITELY dessert

8.  Your favourite holiday ?  This is really hard as we have had some amazing holidays.  I loved the time we spent in USA and Spain.  But, it would probably be the two weeks A and I spent in NZ last year to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary.  It was just the two of us and we had very loose arrangements so moved about as and when we wanted.  It was a fantastic time for both of us.

9.  What book are you currently reading ?  I am re-reading the Twilight series (for the 6th time !!!) yes, I love the story !!!

10. Diamonds or pearls ?  Diamonds without a doubt

11. What has been the happiest moment of your life ?  At the time I didn't know it, but when I look back, my wedding day is my happiest day.  I made a commitment to my best friend to love and cherish, in sickness and in health and over 25 years later, we are still best friends and now having the time of our lives because K really does her own thing most of the time.

11 Questions For Those I Tag
1.  Chocolate or vanilla ice-cream ?
2.  Dogs or cars ?
3.  What is your favourite season ?
4.  Laptop or desk top ?
5.  Jeans or dresses/skirts ?
6.  Participate or watch ?
7.  Electronic diary or pen and paper ?
8.  Snow or beach ?
9.  Chips or wedges ?
10. Morning or night person ?
11. Gold or silver ?

The 11 Bloggers I Tag (In alphabetical order - but please don't feel obliged to join in - if you would like to it would be great to learn more about you but totally understand if you don't)

Aroha from Colours of Sunset
Eleise from A Very Blended Family
Gillian from Tessie Girl
Jackie from A blog about me living with CRPS
Julia from Unwritten
Lydia from Where The Wild Things Were
Lyndal from Family of Killers
Rae from I Opened My Mouth and It Ran Away Without Me
Rhianna from A Parenting Life
Stacey-Lee from Get On With It Already
Trudie from My Vintage Childhood

As I said before, if you aren't able to do this, it is totally OK (Geez, it took me so long to get around to doing it myself !!!!)

And, because it is Tuesday,  I am linking in with Jess from Essentially Jess for #IBOT.

TFTD : If we truly want to make a impact - big or small - we have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.


http://chiclivingwithcrps.blogspot.com.au/

I Must Confess

This week I am linking in with Kirsty at My Home Truths for I Must Confess.  While I know that sometimes this is done, tongue in cheek, for me it is a hard admission to make but, in the interest of staying honest on my blog and acknowledging where I am, here goes (and maybe, just maybe - it will help me be kinder to myself because sometimes you just have to roll with the punches !!!)

Last week I got A to take my big clothes out of the garage roof.  He brought down the boxes that have clothes in from size 10-22.  I pulled out the size 16 clothes.  I put them.  They fitted.  They were more comfortable than the size 12-14 clothes that I have been wearing for the past couple of weeks.  So for a few days this week I went to work in comfortable clothes.  That made me happy because by the time I have driven for 30 mins to get to work, I generally get out feeling like I have been cut in half.

Last week my BIL asked me if I wanted to join him running with some people at 6am ON SATURDAY MORNING.  I said not bloody likely because those of you that know me, know that I am so not a morning personb!!!!  But we were out to dinner with them on Friday night and I said that I would get my clothes ready and if I was awake I would go.  I asked A to just "Hhhmmm" me if he was awake from about 5.15am and if I was awake I would get up.  He was fast asleep but I woke at 5.22am.  I lay there for a while and then thought that I really should just get up and do it ! So I did.  Got dressed and called BIL and he was just leaving so he came and picked me up and off we went.  It was really nice - such a great time of the day to run.  I truly wish I was a morning person and could do it more often !!!!!

I had a reasonable run but when I got home to A I said that I needed to get some bigger exercising clothes as I just felt so uncomfortable in the ones I had.  It broke my heart to have to say I needed to go and buy bigger clothes - not only because of the money that it cost but because who wants to be exercising and eating well and putting on weight ?  Not me for sure - but that is what I am dealing with so best I accept it and be kind to myself.

So yesterday we went to KMart and Big W and I got two pairs of pants for $15 each and three tops for $8 each.  At least they will keep me going and hopefully the weight will start to come off instead of going on and I can go back to my current exercise clothes - and then have to buy smaller clothes !! 

I just wish I knew what I could do about my weight and not feel like I am at the mercy of my body / biological clock / hormones.  In the meantime I am going to do my absolute best to be kind to myself and love myself even though my body is not behaving in a very loving manner back to me !!!

Have a great week !

TFTD : If you aren’t being yourself, you aren’t truly living – you’re merely existing.

Things I Know

Linking in with the awesome Miss Cinders from Saturday Morning Ogre Mum for what I know this week :

I know that it was probably unrealistic of me to think that because I felt so good on Sunday the medication was working and everything had turned the corner - it definitely hasn't but I'll take one or two good days a week over no good days a week !

I know that I am loving the Kettle Sweet Potato chips but at $4 for 90g they really are a little too exepnsive for me to have as often as I would like.  (Note : If any PR people from Kettle are reading this and would like to sponsor me some, that would be very well received and most appreciated !!!!)

I know that I have less than 6 weeks to fit in enough training for a 10km event.  My trainer doesn't think it will be a problem so maybe I need to listen to him.

I know that I am going to win a Personal Planner sometime soon because I have entered that many giveways my name has to come up just now.

I know that tonight we are going out to dinner with BIL and SIL and we are going to have so much fun and lots of laughs - 'cos that is what happens whenever we get together.

I know that I need to get some decent sleep this weekend - I can't keep nearly falling asleep at work because I can't sleep at night.

I know that cooler nights make going to bed more pleasant - if only I could sleep when I was in bed. Having said that, A has had his teeth sorted out (no more being married to a bogan looking guy - yay !!!) and went and had the mold (sorry this is the right spelling but it just looks so wrong !!) taken for the mandibular splint TO STOP HIS SNORING !!!! It is driving me nuts again - and that will be ready on 7th March - for this reason alone I want the next three weeks to fly.  With reference to point #3 above I hope that the next 3 weeks takes forever to go by (sometimes there is just no pleasing me - and I am taking total responsibility for that and not blaming menopause - well not this time anyway !!!)

I know that I need to get back to the no sugar mentality - I don't like what sugar, even the small amounts that I have had lately, do to me.

I know that I am not very good at keeping a gratitude journal - I need to work harder on this !!!

Have the best weekend ever and, if you haven't linked in, why not post a blog about what you know and link in with Miss Cinders ?

TFTD : Opportunities multiply as they are seized - Sun Tzu

Three Events Entered

This morning I realised - I have less than 6 weeks until the first event I have entered for the year !!!!! EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK !!!! When I entered the Brisbane Twilight 10km event - I had so much time - how come I have less than 6 weeks now ? Oh yes, that would be because I got into a rut of being lazy and didn't do any training !!!!

Well, with that realisation firmly in the front of my head, I got home from work and went for a walk/run - just to see how I would go. For a start - it was slow. I can live with that. Next it was hot. I can live with that. Then I started the poncy style of running that my physio has assured me will stop my knee pain. I can probably live with that, at a push, if it means that my knees won't be sore. What I am not sure I can live with is my calves after getting home from doing said poncy running / shuffling !! My calves are absolutely killing me. BUT, I did feel a lot lighter on my feet and less of a plodder which may be an up-side for this style of running. I am sure once I get used to this style of running my calves will be fine but how long will that take I wonder ?

I got home and did the couple of calf stretches that I know and then popped around to see my PT and ask him others he could recommend. He showed me a couple more and suggested sitting with them in the pool if the water wasn't too warm and icing them. So I did that - sat with them in the pool. Then came inside and cooked dinner and after dinner sat with ice-packs on them. Man it is killing me to walk - what am I going to be like tomorrow - and even worse, the next day when DOMS really sets in ???????????

But, I got out there and did that first run - the one that always scares the cr*p out of me for some reason - hopefully they will get better.

My BIL has invited me to join a running group that he goes to on Wednesday and Saturday morning at 6am - I can't make a Wednesday as I have to leave home by 7am to get to work and I am really not keen on an early start on a Saturday morning BUT I thought I would give it a try for a couple of weeks to see if it is worth it for me - if not, at least I will have tried.

The next event that I have entered is The Colour Run which is happening on the coast on 14th April. Judging from the photos that I have seen of the run in Sydney this past weekend - it looks like it is going to be heaps of fun. It is only 5km so I am sure that I will be fine with that given I did 4.2km tonight albeit a lot slower than I would have liked but given how long it has been since I was actually running and the change to my running style, I can't complain too much.

The third event I entered is the 50km Brisbane to the Bay cycle on 23 June. A and I had spoken about entering but didn't get around to doing anything about it. Early bird entries closed at 5pm on Friday and we missed it so we thought we would leave it for this year. Then I got an sms today to say that they had extended the early bird offer to 5pm today so I called A to see if he was still interested and he said yes and that his brother (BIL from above) may also be interested. So, I called him and he said yes - we have entered the Morris Gang team. The event is about fund raising for MS so if you are interested / connected in anyway to MS and would like to make a donation - I can send you my page link for easy access.

I don't know how long it normally takes for hormones to start working but I am starting to feel better emotionally / mentally. This weekend gone we made a start on fixing up the garden - not the project that we had planned to do - but it was good to have a look on Sunday afternoon and see what we had accomplished. Now that the emotions are starting to return to some sort of normalcy, it is time for me to concentrate on the fuel that I am putting into my body. I am not sure that I can keep to the quantity of food that Dr Maxine advised me (given I am now one of the old ladies of the tribe !!!!) but I am back to cutting out sugar, dairy and wheat and trying to eat as healthily as possible. This combined with exercise HAS to see my weight go the way it should.

This weekend I asked A to get my bigger clothes out. It broke my heart to have to do this but I have realised that I am better off wearing clothes that actually fit me and are comfortable to sit in all day rather than trying to continue to squish myself into clothes that are too small for me. The bottom line is I have put on weight - whether I like it or not - whether it was something I did or not - or, whether it is just my body doing whatever it wants to - the weight is back and I need to learn to live with it rather than continue to beat myself up over something that I can't seem to control. I am hoping that my acceptance of this will mean that it won't want to hang around any longer and bugger off to the land where fat loss goes to.

Wishing everyone a great week - if you are interested in joining me or sponsoring me in any of the above events - send me an email and I will send you the details.

As always, (OK maybe not always but at least for this year) - it is Tuesday so it is time to link in with Jess from Essentially Jess for #IBOT. Unfortunately I didn't get around to as many blogs last week as I normally do - hopefully this week I can get to more.

TFTD : The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that that situation is over, you cannot move forward.

Listmania 4 - what jobs have I rocked

Linking in with Deb from Home Life Simplified for Listmania #4 this week.

I'm not sure that I have actually rocked any jobs but I sure have had enough of them !!!!  I don't do boring / not learning very well so once I am competent at a job I tend to look around for something else !!

My first job was when I was in year 6 at school - I worked for Weigh Less (similar to Weight Watchers but different) - I used to collect people's money and stamp their books and listen to their stories about why they were up or down that week !!!  I met some lovely people there.

A couple of years later I worked in the local supermarket in the deli - this was not my most favourite job, but it earned me enough money to put petrol in my car so I figured it was worth staying there !!

Fast forward to the end of school and I applied for a job with one of the banks in South Africa because if you weren't going to be a nurse or a hair dresser, you worked in the bank !!!!  I moved around the departments quite a bit and didn't mind my stay there.

It was so long ago I can't even tell exactly how long I stayed there but I think it was a good couple of years as I got to move around to different departments.  Then I moved into the sugar industry as an assistant accountant and from there moved to a role where I was responsible for the cashflow of the company working with (at season end R500 million) - this was a really good job that made me think heaps and worry lots - a percentage point could have cost us lots of money if I got it wrong !!!!!

From there I went to work from a company that sold computers and printers - didn't last there too long as I had only been there about 3 months when they decided to centralise their accounts and moved them all to Johannesburg !!!

The last job I had before leaving South Africa was working for a company who stored containers - working conditions were cr*p and the work wasn't that exciting - I was glad to leave there to immigrate here !!!!

Within a week of arriving here I had a job as an AP clerk with a civil engineering company.  Cashflow was tight and it was awful having to make up payment plans that were never implemented because we had to pay for concrete and so nobody else could get paid !!

From there I moved to a perfume distributor where my job was nothing like what had been described at the interview.  All I basically did was a bank recon for 20 odd stores - trying to reconcile Amex and Diners statements was a total nightmare.  6 months into that job I was head hunted by the accountant that I had worked with in my first job here for a timeshare business.

I stayed there for a few years and after she left and went to a uni, she approached me to follow her there - which I did.  It was 7kms from home and a cruisy kind of job.  Then the accountant's job at a private school was advertised and I applied for that and worked there for a couple of years.  While it was a lovely environment, the work was not very stimulating and so it was time for me to move on.

In the meantime A and I had taken second jobs packing shelves at Coles in the evenings.  We had 9pm-1am shifts 4 nights a week and every second Saturday from 6-10pm.  We did this for 8 years - man I was so glad when we stopped packing shelves BUT having said that it certainly served it's purpose - we did outside renovations, we went on overseas holidays and, when we were unemployed, it kept some money coming in every single week.

My next stop was as the financial manager of a local private hospital.  Well that was a total nightmare.  I am not one to shirk work and certainly put in more than I take out but there I was working 70-80hr weeks and getting paid an hourly rate than was less than what I was getting paid to pack shelves at Coles.  This is the first job I have ever left without having another job to go to - it was just an awful job.  What I found out afterwards was that there used to be 3 people doing it and as people left, they just never replaced them !!!!

I studied Cert IV in Massage and then Diploma of Remedial Massage as I wanted to open a business working from home in the evenings.

After being unemployed for a couple of months I got some contract work which I did for about 3 years until I landed the role that I am currently in.  I am the accountant for a group of 6 companies and, while the work isn't the most stimulating, I have come to realise that working with nice people, for reasonable money, in a job that is from 7.30-4 every day, and I can leave my work at work and not have to bring it home with me has to count for something !!!!

I still have the massage / reflexology business that I run from home and I love treating clients in my therapy room - it really is a haven for me.

Have the best week everyone and take care !

TFTD : Sometimes we choose to be wrong, not because we really are wrong, but because we value our relationship more than our pride.

Things I Know

Although I am two days late, I am linking in with Miss Cinders at Saturday Ogre Mum for Things I Know (from Friday !!!) :

- I know that I love the candles that I bought recently from Coles and the fragrance they create in our home.

- I know that yesterday I felt cr*p for no apparent reason

- I know that today I feel the best I have felt in a long long time - I wonder how quickly the medication takes to work - could it be working after two nights ?
- I know that my child is an adult and I have to let her make her own decisions and deal with the consequences of those decisions

- I know that if we are going to be good parents we have make some hard decisions - and stick to those decisions no matter how much they hurt us and, that we have to be strong when others criticise us for our decisions

- I know that today I feel like I could be motivated enough to exercise and have my head in the right space for what I eat and drink

- I know that I HATE being over weight BUT I have accepted that, right now, my weight isn't the issue I need to be concentrating on - my emotional state of mind is more important

- I know that without A's support through all of this I probably wouldn't still be here - I truly believe I wouldn't have survived without him

- I know that my reason for being outside in the sun has been taken away from me because my body cannot metabolise Vitamin D - apparently there is an unreasonably high number of people who live on the Gold Coast who are deficient in Vitamin D

- I know that tonight we are having a lovely lamb roast that A is cooking and I am doing some roast veggies - maybe I will cook more than we need so I can have the left overs for lunch tomorrow

Have the best week everyone and take care !

TFTD : There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.  –Beverly Sills

Finally - Some Answers to the Menopause Question

For those who have been following my blog for a while, you will know that lately life has been more than a little difficult for me.  The menopausal symptoms that I have been suffering with started to improve but then about 2-3 months ago they started to worsen and they have just been sending me down the slope to feeling like I am going insane.

As I said, after the first couple of months things did start to improve -  the itches stopped, the hot flushes and night sweats eventually improved and the anxiety attacks were few and far between.

2-3 months ago things turned around - the anxiety attacks became more frequent, my mood swings were unbelievable and I wondered whether I would have a family 12 months into the future.

Before Christmas I have noticed that my weight was starting to creep up.  We had a very quiet Christmas - especially food wise with no chocolates, Christmas pudding / cake, mince pies - none of the normal Christmas things that we have.  I didn't even drink much - maybe twice.  After Christmas I noticed I had a good loss for 2 weeks - and then the kilos started to creep up, and up, and up.  My exercising wasn't as good as it had been as I was still trying to recover from hurting my back during Warrior Dash and my knee had been giving me some trouble as well.  But, I was still getting out there and doing something.  There was no reason why I shouldn't be losing weight.

After talking to my osteo and telling him about my weight gain after cutting out sugar, dairy and wheat, he strongly recommended that I see my doctor again.  So I did, because as I said before, I was starting to wonder just how long my family would put up with me.

She looked at my blood tests, suggested I see a psychologist and told me in no uncertain terms that I couldn't expect to have the body of a 20yo when I was nearly 50 and really just dismissed me out of hand.  I told her that I completely understood that and didn't want the body of a 20yo - but I also didn't want to working my butt off and having my weight (and cms) go up.  To say that I was upset about it would be an understatement.  I really felt like I wasn't worth much at all.

Then I started to 'chat' to another blogger who knew exactly what I was talking about when I mentioned anxiety attacks because she has suffered from them for many years and has learned how to overcome them.  What a great feeling that was - knowing that there was someone out there who 'got' me.

A friend at work suggested I see someone who specialises in menopause and I said I would if she could give me the name of someone to see.  She googled it and came up with a name and number for me.  I called them and made an appointment for two days time.  I went to her (she is an elderly lady who just reminds me of Maxine - the cartoon character - so I have been calling her Dr Maxine) - the appointment wasn't very long but, man it was so good to talk to her.  She knew exactly what I was talking about and she knew what I needed to do.  First up, I had to go and get another blood test because the last one I had was in July last year.  I made a follow up appointment with her for Tuesday last week but then we got stuck in Stanthorpe and I had to cancel.  When we got home later in the week, I called and made an appointment for Monday morning.

I went to see Dr Maxine - what a great way to start the week - she printed off the results and went through them with me (summarised version) :
thyroid - good
testosterone - good
oestrogen - extremely bad
progesterone - extremely bad
vitamin D - not very good (I asked how this could be as I am in the sun on and off on the weekend - she said that while I am getting sufficient vitamin D - going on how brown I am - my body is not metabolising it like it should.  Apparently there are many people on the Gold Coast who are vitamin D deficient.)

I just burst out crying - I was so relieved that there was a definite reason for why I have been feeling like I have.  She patted my shoulder and said "It's OK Lovey - we'll work it out.  This probably won't fix everything, but it will go a long way to making you feel much better."  Now at $150 per appointment, I wasn't sure how many appointments I would need BUT now, knowing that she has discovered a reason and has given me some light at the end of the tunnel - I would pay ANYTHING to see her.

If there is anyone who is suffering from menopausal symptoms - please know this - you don't have to put up with it !!!!  Contact me if you want to know the lady I am seeing - I think she may treat people interstate via telephone appointments - and if she doesn't, she may be able to put you in touch with someone in your area.  She certainly has been around many years and knows what she is doing.  She told me today that she is nearly 70 (told A I thought that she was older than that !!!) so she has been through it and understands exactly what I am saying.

Here's to the beginning of better things.  I went out walking tonight, came home and did a routine of varied crunches and then planked for 1:10:06min.   My fit journal has been completed for the week and I am ready to tackle anything !!

And, because it is Tuesday, I am linking in with Jess from Essentially Jess for #IBOT.

TFTD : If you give in to your fears, you will have a harder time looking at yourself in the mirror.

Crushes Then and Now

WELCOME to my 250th post in this blog.

Linking in with Listmania 3 at Home Life Simplified and Kirsty at My Home Truths for Confessions - Crushes Past and Present  :

Past :
I couldn't go past Tom Selleck (Magnum PI) for my last teenage crush - man I loved that moustache of his and the way he used to jump into that little red convertible.  I even named a teddy after him !!!!  I still own said teddy (although now he sits in a black garbage bag along with some other mementos of my childhood).
David Cassidy - oh that hair
Donny Osmond - I was so sure he was singing to me !!!
Bay City Rollers - those clothes and shoes !
Jacques Kallis - I don't really know what attracted me to him but he was just a good overall package
John Travolta - wasn't he also singing to me and whirling me around the dance floor in Saturday Night Fever ?

Present :
Hugh Jackman - who doesn't love Hugh ?  I am so sorry I never got to see him perform The Boy from Oz - I am sure I would have loved it !
Gary Ablett - I love his bald head
George Bailey - has the nicest smile and appears to be very much the gentleman
And, as soppy as it is, I am adding A in here - after being together for 27 years I still have a crush on him !!!!

Here's to a fantastic week everyone.  Just got back from Dr Maxine (at least is what I call her because she reminds me of the cartoon character !!!) - THERE. IS. A. REASON. FOR. WHY. I. FEEL. LIKE. I. DO - and it is treatable - WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-BLOODY-HOOOOOOOOOOO !!!  I cannot tell you how I feel right now and, as she said, it may not fix all the problems but it will certainly go a long way towards helping me feel better !!

TFTD : An effort made for the happiness of others lifts us above ourselves.

(Random - as always) Things I Know

Linking in with two lovelies today - Miss Cinders from Saturday Morning Ogre Mum for Things I Know and Grace from With Some Grace.

In no particular order ('cos that's what random is, isn't it ????) :

- I know I am happy to be at home and that I probably should have enjoyed the two unplanned days away a little more than I did (I let the stupid bloody anxiety rob me of that pleasure - silly billy me !!!)

- I know that I need to make some decisions about which linkies to link up with because, when I link to more than one in a day, I find it really hard to pop around and comment on other blogs who have linked up (and seeing as that is the point of a link up I feel like I am abusing the link up if I don't get around to majority of the blogs)

- I know that I used to be able to blog without linking up but lately my mind seems to be a huge, big, blank canvas and the only way I can continue to blog is to use the prompt of a link up.  I am positive that one day my mind will return from wherever the hormonal gods have taken it, and I will be able to blog without the crutch of a link up.

- I know that sometimes I just have to go with the flow until I can turn around and do what I need to do

- I know that need to stop beating myself up over the choices that other people make - it is not a relfection on me - it is their choice - and they need to deal with the consequences of those choices

- I know that I am happy that I have entered The Brisbane Twilight Run in March and The Colour Run in April on the Gold Coast otherwise I would have no incentive to start training

- I know that because I have entered above events, I really should get my act together and get training

- I know that spending too much time planning my training is probably not as effective as actually getting out there and training (I know there needs to be some planning but it shouldn't take longer than the actual training !!!!)

- I know that my child is going camping for the weekend somewhere down near Byron Bay so I will have sole use of the laptop THE. WHOLE. WEEKEND. - that will be so cool as I may even be able to catch up on all the blogs I am behind in reading/commenting !!!

What do you know this week ?  C'mon, share it with us so that we can know more !!!!

TFTD : I haven't failed.  I've found 10,000 ways that won't work - Benjamin Franklin