Monday, 18 February 2013

I Must Confess


This week I am linking in with Kirsty at My Home Truths for I Must Confess.  While I know that sometimes this is done, tongue in cheek, for me it is a hard admission to make but, in the interest of staying honest on my blog and acknowledging where I am, here goes (and maybe, just maybe - it will help me be kinder to myself because sometimes you just have to roll with the punches !!!)

Last week I got A to take my big clothes out of the garage roof.  He brought down the boxes that have clothes in from size 10-22.  I pulled out the size 16 clothes.  I put them.  They fitted.  They were more comfortable than the size 12-14 clothes that I have been wearing for the past couple of weeks.  So for a few days this week I went to work in comfortable clothes.  That made me happy because by the time I have driven for 30 mins to get to work, I generally get out feeling like I have been cut in half.

Last week my BIL asked me if I wanted to join him running with some people at 6am ON SATURDAY MORNING.  I said not bloody likely because those of you that know me, know that I am so not a morning personb!!!!  But we were out to dinner with them on Friday night and I said that I would get my clothes ready and if I was awake I would go.  I asked A to just "Hhhmmm" me if he was awake from about 5.15am and if I was awake I would get up.  He was fast asleep but I woke at 5.22am.  I lay there for a while and then thought that I really should just get up and do it ! So I did.  Got dressed and called BIL and he was just leaving so he came and picked me up and off we went.  It was really nice - such a great time of the day to run.  I truly wish I was a morning person and could do it more often !!!!!

I had a reasonable run but when I got home to A I said that I needed to get some bigger exercising clothes as I just felt so uncomfortable in the ones I had.  It broke my heart to have to say I needed to go and buy bigger clothes - not only because of the money that it cost but because who wants to be exercising and eating well and putting on weight ?  Not me for sure - but that is what I am dealing with so best I accept it and be kind to myself.

So yesterday we went to KMart and Big W and I got two pairs of pants for $15 each and three tops for $8 each.  At least they will keep me going and hopefully the weight will start to come off instead of going on and I can go back to my current exercise clothes - and then have to buy smaller clothes !! 

I just wish I knew what I could do about my weight and not feel like I am at the mercy of my body / biological clock / hormones.  In the meantime I am going to do my absolute best to be kind to myself and love myself even though my body is not behaving in a very loving manner back to me !!!

Have a great week !

TFTD : If you aren’t being yourself, you aren’t truly living – you’re merely existing.

22 comments:

  1. This post really resonates with me. I've felt this way. At the end of last year I finally did something about it - I started walking/running on my treadmill and just trying to eat healthier (without cutting out carbs or sweets or anything that I loved). I wrote a post about it. Let me know if you want the link. I lost over 7 kgs which to me was truly unbelievable (I love food and hate exercise). I've since fallen back into my old eating habits so have to get back to it! I got back on the treadmill over the weekend. Good luck with it all xxx

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    1. Hi Cathy - my problem is that the weight gain is hormone driven and there isn't much I can do about it (according to my dr) except be really good about my food choices and portion sizes and ride it out !!! Not the easiest to do when it often means putting on weight after eating really healthy meals for weeks at a time !!
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  2. It sounds like you're doing really well, though I know it must be hard when you want fast results for all the effort you're putting in.

    I'm so with you on not being a morning person. I never have been, so I'm just going to have to accept that I'm in my forties and it's never going to happen.

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    1. I hear you Ness - definitely I am not a morning person and while I did get up on Saturday, I don't know how many times I could do it !!!
      Thanks for stopping by and have a great week !
      Me

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  3. It sounds like you are taking the right steps to being healthy. I hope that your body starts showing some of the hard work for you.

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    1. Me too Tegan !!
      Have a great day !
      Me

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  4. Wow I'm impressed you got up early AND went for a run!!! Good work! It's not easy that's for sure.

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    1. LOL Janet - no point in getting up early if I don't go for a run - then I could just as well stay in bed and doze !!!
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  5. Good for you - It's so important that you're comfortable when exercising or carrying out day to day tasks. It's also great that you've got some people to exercise with- helps keep you motivated and accountable. All the best with keeping healthy x

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    1. Thank you - yes having someone to exercise with certainly does help.
      Have a great day !
      Me

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  6. It's a period of transition, this peri-menopausal place and mod-menopausal. But for sure exercise has got to be helpful and a morning exercise routine sounds good. I must learn to run/jog, feel still so unco-ordinated when I do. Best wishes for the week.

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    1. Definitely - transition is the word that fits really well right now - it's like learning a whole new life !!!!!
      I have to be honest and say that I feel totally unco with the new running style that I am doing BUT it does seem to have helped my knee which is great !!
      Have the best week too !
      Me

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  7. early really IS the best time of the day to run! I love that it is done and out of the way and you don't have to worry about it at night! i had to get out my big clothes after Christmas and it was gut wrenching. I hope that something happens soon to make you feel better about things, but I know what you mean about being at the mercy of it all. I just put a heap of clothes up in the attic over the weekend, terrified that I'll need them sooner rather than later and with all this rain forecast, I don't see when/how I'm going to get any exercise in? That terrifies me! Lots of hugs L. Take care of you and be kind to yourself. xox

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    1. Thanks A - I am trying really hard to be kind to myself but it isn't easy - I am too used to the negative talk and put downs !!! But, I am getting better. I had a run planned on Monday night that I couldn't do because of the p*ssing down rain. Have one planned tonight if weather plays the game !!!
      Have a great week !
      Me

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  8. Don't worry about the size all that matters is that you are comfortable and looking after your body properly. Fairly wishes and butterfly kisses lovely I really hope that your body sorts itself out soon.

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    1. Thanks Rhianna - me too !!
      Have the best day !
      Me

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  9. I'm glad you are trying to be kind to yourself. It's hard to keep positive when nothing seems to be making a difference but I hope your efforts do pay off soon. In the meantime continue to be kind and caring to yourself. Thanks so much again for linking up with I Must Confess.

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    1. Thanks Kirsty - I'm hoping my efforts pay off soon too !!
      Have the best week !
      Me

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  10. Being kind to oneself is the key to a happy life in mu humble opinion

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    1. Thank you - I am trying really hard !!
      Thank you for stopping by and have the best day !
      Me

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  11. I think it's wonderful you are running in the morning. I am so not a morning person, but the times I have gotten up early, I feel so good for it. Good luck on your fitness journey.

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    1. LOL Lisa - it's only on a Saturday morning as I don't have time before work !!!! It was a lovely time of the day it's just that I normally sleep so badly that if I am asleep I don't want to wake up to go for a run !!!! But you are right - once you have been it feels fantastic !
      Have a great week !
      Me

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Have the best day.

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