My Dad........ My Hero

Dad and Mom last year on Mom's birthday

Up until about 4 years ago I thought my Dad knew everything.  When I was little there was nothing he couldn't fix, nothing he couldn't make and nothing he didn't know.  Little did I know that most of the time he said what he said with so much confidence and not nearly enough knowledge, that I always believed him. I believed in him and what he could accomplish because he never led me to believe anything else.

About 4 years ago I started to question things that he said and slowly came to the realisation that he didn't really know everything - all he did was say everything with so much conviction that if you didn't know otherwise you believed what he said.  Since then we have had many laughs over what he says and whether it is actually true - it has become a family joke now and he doesn't mind that it is often at his expense (because he got away with it for so many years !!!)

In December 2010 he was diagnosed with a melanoma on his forehead and the plastic surgeon gave him 5 years to live - 5 YEARS - that wasn't long enough - I need more time with him !!!  They operated before Christmas to remove the melanoma.  In March 2011 he found a lump on his face in front of his ear.  The cancer had spread and they did a radical neck dissection in May 11, taking out 18 lymph nodes.  He went through 5 weeks of radiation and really battled to recover from that.

In December 2011 they gave him a clean bill of health.  Early in February 12, 6 weeks after the clean bill of health, they found another lump, further down his neck.  They operated in April 12 and took out the remaining 13 lymph nodes.  On 5th June 12 he will start another round of radiation and all the horrors that go with it - the sores, the lack of taste, the weight loss, the tiredness. 

But he is a fighter - when I was little I never remember him being there much - he was either running, playing tennis or working around the house.  He ran the Comrades Marathon in South Africa, a 90km run from Durban to Pietermaritzburg - 10 TIMES.  (Talking to him the other night he said that he used to train for about 2-3 months for the marathon so my idea that he was always running is probably not that true - it is just how I remember it being).  He ran the 100 miler TWICE - can you imagine that - running 100 miles around a cycle track and not going out of your mind - or maybe you had to be out of your mind before you actually did it - I don't know !!!!!  He wasn't a Dad who sat and read with us or played with us because he was always busy with the house or sport but that is what most Dad's did in those days.  He also wasn't a Dad who went to the pub with his mates to have a drink - in fact I don't recall him ever going to a pub to have a drink - if he wanted a drink he came home and had one with Mom or we all went out to dinner at a restaurant.  Having said that, I never remember him not answering a question when we asked it (even though now I know he probably made up the answer anyway !!!), not fixing something of ours when it was broken or building something that we needed.

He was the Dad who dropped me off if I was going out before I had my licence and then came back and picked me up when it was time to go home.  He was the Dad who patiently waited, after arriving at said pick up time of midnight, until 1am or 2am because we were having so much fun and nobody else was going home.  He was the Dad who took me to and from work so I didn't have to catch the bus, especially in winter when it was a bit cold !!!!

We have had many discussions since I have become an adult with my own child of how different we have been as parents to what he and my Mom were like.  He acknowledges that he often said no because he could and not because there was any reason for saying no - and he regrets it.  He acknowledges that he never played with us much - and he regrets that too.  And he has made up for it with his grand-children - more so with our daughter than my brother's child mainly because my ex SIL wouldn't let them see my nephew very much.

I know that leaving them behind when we moved countries was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  My Mom was not very computer savy and I tried to show her before we left how to e-mail because I couldn't afford to phone them every day.  My Dad was the one who mailed me every day - telling us what they had been up to and how they were. 

My Dad is my hero - he has done some amazing things in his life and I am so proud to call him Dad.  He has been supportive without being over bearing.  He has offered advice and then stepped back and let us make our own decisions.  He has been there, no matter what, to catch me if I fell. 

I love you Dad and no matter what happens, whenever you leave, it will be too soon.

Linking in with Kate from katesaysstuff for Thankful Thursday and Dorothy from Singular Insanity for Things I Know.