Things I Know

Today is Friday which means it's time to link in with Things I Know over at A Parenting Life with Rhianna (even though the linky is open on Thursday - I link in with Thankful Thursday and like having this prompt for Friday !!!)

Photo by Trey Ratcliff

 

So, what do I know today :

- I know that menopause sucks

- I know that I am sorry that I never found Maura sooner

- I know that if I had've found her sooner, I would have saved myself months of heartache

- I know that if I had've found her sooner, I would have saved my family months of having to deal with a woman who felt like she was losing her mind

- I know that finding the right medical help makes the world of difference

- I know that finding someone who understands exactly what you are going through makes you realise that it isn't all in your head and it is totally real and all totally treatable

- I know that getting help for all the symptoms that menopause throws at you is the answer

- I know that working on these symptoms one at a time feels like a never ending battle, but hang in there, eventually you will feel better

- I know that it has taken me nearly 14 months to feel 'normal' again

- I know that we have spent a sh*tload of money to get me to this point but that every single $ was worth it

- I know that now that I am starting to sleep through most of the night I feel like a completely different person

- I know that having a supportive husband is, literally, a life saver

- I know that communication makes all the difference - while he has absolutely no freakin' idea of what you are going through, talking about it makes it a little easier for him to support you

- I know that I wish that I had someone who had been through menopause to talk to while it was happening to me, and then I found Maura and it made all the difference

Wishing you the best weeekend ever !!!

What do you know today ?

Have you linked in with Rhianna ?

Why not join in, because we all know

something ?

 

TFTD : The judgement of others does not change who I am.  Quite the opposite is true.  It reveals who they are. - Terry McPhearson

The Week That Was

Well, those 9 days passed in the blink of an eye.  OK - maybe not quite the blink of an eye but it certainly doesn't feel like it was 9 days ago that A arrived home and he has left again already.  We were talking last night and I made him laugh - he had annoyed me in the evening because I had asked him to do something on Friday, and Saturday and Sunday and he had still not done it (and by then it was dark and I knew that even if he went out to do it, it wouldn't be done properly because he wouldn't be able to see properly) - I told him that when I was really missing him while he was gone, I thought about the times he had really annoyed me and then I didn't miss him so much !!!!  He thought that it was a strange way to deal with him not being at home and I told him "Whatever works for me, works for me !!!!"

We spent some amazing time together - just being together - not necessarily doing anything exciting - just enjoying being together.

I also spent Wednesday morning waiting for him to have some cancer cut out of his face only for him to go for a follow up appointment on Friday and be told that, while they had cut bigger than they thought necessary, they didn't get it all.  So, he has to go back again once this lot has healed.  The next time they are going to send it off to pathology before they stitch him up to make sure that they don't have to cut again.  Poor bugger - the same thing happened with the last lot of cancer they cut out - didn't get it all and they had to go back in again.  Lucky he doesn't have a career in modelling !!!  My BIL thinks this could be a new weight loss strategy - getting bits cut out !!!!

Thursday I took the day off work and Friday K took the day off work to spend with Dad.  I was really pleased as she can be a little narky with him at times.  Actually, when he arrived and it looked like things may get a little tense between them, I said "OK, Dad is only here for 9 days so everyone has to be nice to everyone else" - and that seemed to be the mantra repeated a few times while he was home.  If only it would work when he was home permanently !!!!!!!!!!

I thought that I was doing the right thing by booking a flight to see him half way through this month that he is away from home only for him to get to Townsville this morning and hear that the riggers are moving down to Rockhampton in the next couple of days which means he will be following them a few days later.  So, now to see how much it will cost me to change my flights - bloody company couldn't organise a p*ss up in a brewery if their lives depended on it !!!!!!!!!!!!  DRIVES ME NUTS (I think I may have mentioned this before !!!!!)

I have finally stopped the medication I was taking for depression so hopefully my weight will start to move now.  I was going to walk tonight but got home late from work and brought some work home with me to do so I didn't land up walking.  But, I have to be honest and say that it is a long time since I have felt so good.  I feel in control of my life and, even though I miss A while he is away, I don't feel like I can't get through the day because he isn't here.  I feel like I can cope by myself.  I don't know how I will go with staying in the house by myself as K is off to house sit for friends of ours on Thursday but will deal with that when it happens.  I cannot believe how much better I feel now, when I compare how I was feeling a few months ago - when everything seemed to be too hard and too much.  I am still on heaps of medication and supplements (24.6 tablets per day) BUT, if that is what it takes to get my body and mind feeling like this, I will continue to take them because they are worth it - every - single - one - of - them.

Today I landed up working late to get reports printed off for our board meeting first thing tomorrow morning at Richlands, so I was not in the best frame of mind when I got home.  That changed really quickly when I checked the mail and found an envelope addressed to The Body and Feet Retreat and this is what was inside :

Shelley from learnlovelive had mailed it to me.  I cannot tell you how happy it made me - it will look absolutely great with my winter jumpers.  I can't wait to wear it to work tomorrow.  I don't think the people at work will understand the significance to me that it has as none of them know me as 'Me' - but I just love it !  Thank you soooooooo much Shelley, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you thinking of me.  As Lisa from RandomActsofZen said "Karma" !!!

As it is Tuesday I am joining in with Jess at EssentiallyJess for #IBOT.  I have to say that I missed my on-line friends this past week.  I also missed celebrating my 30,000 page view - but hey, that happens sometimes !!!  It's good to be back and I hope to be able to catch up with what everyone has been doing over the next few nights. 

Take care everyone - and, remember, if you would like to be part of either Project Pay It Forward or, Project Brighten Someone's Day, please DM or e-mail me your physical address and I will add you to the list.  I think I am loving these projects more than the people on the receiving end of them !

TFTD : One of the most rewarding moments in life is when you finally find the courage to let go of what you can't change.
(I cannot tell you how much this thought has changed my life !)

Thankful Thursday

YAY - it's Thursday which means Thankful Thursday linky with Francesca from Francesca Writes Here.  Yesterday I spent a fair bit of time thinking about what I was thankful for and I came up with ............................. nothing !  Not that I am not thankful for stuff, but just that I don't want to keep posting week after week the same 'stuff' !!!!

Francesca kindly reminded me that I was thankful that there is only 1 more sleep until A gets back instead of the 8 that I had last week (which technically means this isn't the same 'stuff') but I wanted something just a little different.  So here goes (and, even as I am typing this I am not sure what is going to follow here ...........)

- I am thankful for looking after myself and taking on board everyone's comments about going for a massage (here).  I know that the universe works to give us what we need - and this is how it worked out for me.  As a result of finding a massage therapist in the yellow pages, who did a fantastic job at massaging me (I find it very difficult to get a good massage because I have such high standards for myself and I expect others to have the same), after a bit of a chat, she told me about a naturopath she had been to see.  I thought that it was worth going to see her to see if there was anything she could do to help me and I went to see her yesterday.  What a lovely lady.  She said that the medication and supplements I was on were great and just topped it up with some homeopathic medication.  She suggested another two supplements but recommended I get them from Giant Chemist as they were cheaper than what she could sell them to me for !!!!

- I am thankful for the one-on-one time that I get to spend with K while A is away - it truly has been magical in some strange ways.

- I am thankful for the cheap, good quality yarn that my folks keep finding for me to buy so that I can keep on with my project of crocheting baby blankets.  To be honest, I don't even know which project I am supporting anymore - I crochet them and give them to my folks and they drop them off with someone.  I am presuming that there are babies somewhere who are warmer because of the blankets I have made.

- I am thankful that it is getting cooler in the mornings and evenings and somehow my hot flushes and night sweats seem to have calmed down a little (or maybe the medicine is working and keeping them under control) - whichever it is I am happy that I only have to change pj's three or four times a week instead of three or four times a night !!  (Yes, I just have a pile of vests next to my bed and when one gets wet, I take it off and pull another one on.)

- I am soooooooooooooo thankful that it is a long weekend this weekend - WOOO-BLOODY-HOOOOOOO - how cool is that going to be ?  A gets home tomorrow afternoon/evening and we get to spend three days together !!!!!!!!!!!!  Gotta love celebrating the Queen's birthday !

- I am not thankful that there was something that I thought was a really good thing to be thankful for but now I have forgotten what it was !!!

I know that we all have stuff that we are thankful for - what are you thankful for today ?

Have the best week !

TFTD : Have faith in your lifelong journey. No matter how stressful, everything had to happen exactly as it did to get you to where you're going.

Menopause - More Answers

Those of you who have been reading my blog will know the journey I have found myself on - nothing like the journey I actually set out on, but life is like that sometimes, it presents you with twists and turns you never expected, just to see how you cope in the face of adversity.  (Well that is how I think it works - I may be completely wrong but that's OK too !!!)

My weight gain and tiredness have been two of the big issues I have faced over the past few months.  Last week I had a cortisol test and a glucose tolerance test - and we have some answers. 

I went back to my absolute darling hormone doctor (lovingly known at home as Maxine because she reminds me of the cartoon character so much !!) yesterday for the results of the above-mentioned tests and YAY - there is a reason for my tiredness and weight gain.

I have adrenal fatigue and my insulin is not doing what it is supposed to with the carbs that I eat.

Finally, something I can actually do to change how I feel.

Finally, there is something I can control that will change how I feel.

I could have leapt across that table and kissed her I was so happy.  I don't think I have ever been so happy to be told that there is something wrong with me - but yesterday, it was the validation that I needed for myself, to know that it wasn't all in my head and that there was a very specific reason for what was happening.

Yes, there are still other issues that we are going to have to work on but just the fact that we have some reasons for the major issues is SUCH A RELIEF for A and I.

The bottom line is if I don't change my lifestyle I am almost guaranteed to be diabetic within 5-10 years.  So, it really is a no brainer - I don't have an option but to change my lifestyle.  I'm not going to kid anyone that it will be easy as I am the carbohydrate queen.  I did follow the paleo way of eating for a few months a while back, I do know it works, but this time I have to embrace it as my new way of life not a short term change for a specific outcome.

I also have a plan for reducing the anti-depressants that I am on because I do feel that I am coping so much better and don't need to be on the high dosage that I am on.  I have agreed that if I feel like I need to be on them I will stop the reduction plan and stay on the dosage that I am at that point.  The past 6-8 weeks when I have been kinder to myself and stopped beating myself up over everything that 'I should' be doing and instead allowing myself to do the things that I can manage - and if that means sleeping most of the weekend, then that is OK.  It has taken me a long time to accept that it is OK not to be superwoman - with this great job, fantastic exercise regime, good little business at home - it is OK to let A cook dinner and look after me because I am almost incapable of looking after myself, it doesn't mean I am any less a wife / mom - it just means I have accepted what my limitations are for now and that is not to say that they won't change in the future.

I have noticed lately as I have opened myself up more to helping people, the universe is thanking me by sending me new clients.  I can't tell you when I last had a new client.  In the past month I have had three new clients - two of whom have booked follow up treatments.

Linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT because we all know how we love to BOT !!

Life is good !

Have the best week ever !!!!!!

TFTD : Success doesn't come to you, you actually have to go and find it for yourself.

Things I Know

This linky is more than a little late but given the long weekend and the fact that I was sleeping 14-16 hrs per day over said long weekend, there wasn't really much time to do anything else !

Linking in with Miss Cinders at Saturday Morning Ogre Mum for Things I Know because (as she is always so good to point out, and remind us, We all know sh*t.)

- I know that I am soooooooooo happy with the Suns' win over St Kilda - what a great game it was to watch, even the second time when we got home, and the third time the next morning when K came over and the fourth time on the replay on Sunday afternoon. 

- I know that I am soooooooooo tired of being tired - hopefully the glucose tolerance test and the cortisol tests tomorrow will show something isn't right and we can work towards getting it sorted out so I don't feel like this all the time.

- I know that I can sleep waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay longer than I ever thought possible.

- I know that cutting down on my exercise regime is the right thing for me to do right now - I will get back into it when we have some answers and can fix things.

- I know that I love having the old K back visiting us.  We saw a fair bit of her over the weekend and it was just lovely - she was an absolute pleasure to have around - long may it last.

- I know that I am happy that our vanity has been installed into the spare basin and we can work on getting the veranda cleared / tidied now that the vanity isn't there anymore.

- I know that I am missing my folks so much and can't wait for them to get home.  It's so good to hear that they are enjoying themselves and having a bit of a break while they are there but it will be even nicer to have them home again.

- I know that I have been feeling so much better recently (except for the tiredness) - the mood swings and irritability have been so much better, I haven't had an anxiety attack for a while now and the night sweats and itches have both been bearable of late.  Now if we could just get my weight and my skin under control - life would be grand !

- I know that I like hot x buns more than I like easter eggs (Note - more than easter eggs NOT chocolate).

- I know that my enthusiasim for crocheting seems to come and go for no apparent reason - I hope it comes and stays for a while before winter begins so I can make more blankets for the poor children who don't have any.

- I know that the few tasks I set for myself for the long weekend didn't get done.

- I know that I have been kind to myself and not beaten myself up for not doing above mentioned tasks - they are still on the list and will get done when I can get them done.

- I know that I have not been blog reading / commenting / answering comments on my own blog as regularly as I would like - see "I know" immediately above.

- I know that it is Tuesday which means it is #IBOT with Essentially Jess today.

Have a great short week and take care !

TFTD : The real issue is never the issue itself. The real issue is your attitude toward the issue.

Where Does The Time Go To ?????

I know that I have been MIA for a while - thank you to everyone who has been in touch with me to check that things are OK - I can't tell you how much I appreciate it !!!!

Because it is Friday, it means linking up with Miss Cinders from Saturday Morning Ogre Mum for Things I Know because, as we all know, we all know sh*t !!!!

- I know that I seem to be having more down days than up days and I need to be OK with this.  It is a process and I need to work through it.  A HUGE thanks to A for being so patient with me - to be honest, if I was married to me I think I would have asked me to leave a little while ago - he has the patience of a saint !!

- I know that taking time off work only provides temporary relief.  I wonder how much I could cut our expenses to allow me to stop working for 12 months ? I'm thinking that won't really be a solution because struggling financially would probably land up being more stressful for me.

- I know that LydiaCLee from Where The Wild Things Were posted about online friends who go quiet - and then I got stuck in the middle.  I won't often post if I don't have something positive / up beat to say - I don't like to post Negative Nelly stuff - not because I don't want to share what is happening and have people think that my life is all bright, fluffy and cheerful - but more because I don't want to chase my readers away with NN posts.  I didn't look at it from the perspective of posting about the cr*p and getting the support of  my online friends.  I know that if I read a post and it sounds like the person is battling I try to say something up lifting or get in touch with them to see if there is anything I can do to help - why I would think that people don't want to read about the downs in my life, I don't know ?

- I don't know what has happened with my blog.  I haven't posted for 2 weeks (Last post was Friday 8th March 2013) and there have been 893 page views since then - which is an average of 64 posts per day.  Who on earth is clicking on here when I haven't even posted anything ?  This, I don't know.

- I know that I have a 10km event to run on Sunday at 5pm at UQ in Brisbane.  I know that I have not done nearly enough training for it.  I know that this worries me.  I know that I will be happy so long as I finish the 10km and don't come last.  I know that next time I think it is a great idea to book an event so far in advance, I will check with someone sensible before registering for said event.

- I know that today is Friday and I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy I could do the happy dance - which would be totally OK as I am the only one in the office right now so it isn't as though anyone would laugh at me.  I don't think I could have got through another day to get to the weekend (even if above mentioned 10km run is taking place on this particular weekend !!!)

- I know that A has invited people over for dinner tomorrow night and, once they get there, we will enjoy ourselves, but man I wish I didn't have to cook a meal that is required to be edible by visitors !!  It's so much easier when it is just the two of us and I say "I don't feel like eating anything - can you get something for yourself ?"

- I don't know how to choose who to sponsor through Kiva - do I pick by country, by sex, by trade/requirement, by age, by how close they are to getting their full loan ?  There are so many deserving candidates but I have limited funds to sponsor here.  Any ideas ?

Now that I have remembered that I have to prepare dinner for tomorrow night, I had better get looking through allrecipes.com.au for some inspiration.

Thanks again Miss Cinders for hosting the TIK linky - always good to join in.

Have the best Friday and a fantastic weekend !!!!

TFTD : Don't change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

Finally - Some Answers to the Menopause Question

For those who have been following my blog for a while, you will know that lately life has been more than a little difficult for me.  The menopausal symptoms that I have been suffering with started to improve but then about 2-3 months ago they started to worsen and they have just been sending me down the slope to feeling like I am going insane.

As I said, after the first couple of months things did start to improve -  the itches stopped, the hot flushes and night sweats eventually improved and the anxiety attacks were few and far between.

2-3 months ago things turned around - the anxiety attacks became more frequent, my mood swings were unbelievable and I wondered whether I would have a family 12 months into the future.

Before Christmas I have noticed that my weight was starting to creep up.  We had a very quiet Christmas - especially food wise with no chocolates, Christmas pudding / cake, mince pies - none of the normal Christmas things that we have.  I didn't even drink much - maybe twice.  After Christmas I noticed I had a good loss for 2 weeks - and then the kilos started to creep up, and up, and up.  My exercising wasn't as good as it had been as I was still trying to recover from hurting my back during Warrior Dash and my knee had been giving me some trouble as well.  But, I was still getting out there and doing something.  There was no reason why I shouldn't be losing weight.

After talking to my osteo and telling him about my weight gain after cutting out sugar, dairy and wheat, he strongly recommended that I see my doctor again.  So I did, because as I said before, I was starting to wonder just how long my family would put up with me.

She looked at my blood tests, suggested I see a psychologist and told me in no uncertain terms that I couldn't expect to have the body of a 20yo when I was nearly 50 and really just dismissed me out of hand.  I told her that I completely understood that and didn't want the body of a 20yo - but I also didn't want to working my butt off and having my weight (and cms) go up.  To say that I was upset about it would be an understatement.  I really felt like I wasn't worth much at all.

Then I started to 'chat' to another blogger who knew exactly what I was talking about when I mentioned anxiety attacks because she has suffered from them for many years and has learned how to overcome them.  What a great feeling that was - knowing that there was someone out there who 'got' me.

A friend at work suggested I see someone who specialises in menopause and I said I would if she could give me the name of someone to see.  She googled it and came up with a name and number for me.  I called them and made an appointment for two days time.  I went to her (she is an elderly lady who just reminds me of Maxine - the cartoon character - so I have been calling her Dr Maxine) - the appointment wasn't very long but, man it was so good to talk to her.  She knew exactly what I was talking about and she knew what I needed to do.  First up, I had to go and get another blood test because the last one I had was in July last year.  I made a follow up appointment with her for Tuesday last week but then we got stuck in Stanthorpe and I had to cancel.  When we got home later in the week, I called and made an appointment for Monday morning.

I went to see Dr Maxine - what a great way to start the week - she printed off the results and went through them with me (summarised version) :
thyroid - good
testosterone - good
oestrogen - extremely bad
progesterone - extremely bad
vitamin D - not very good (I asked how this could be as I am in the sun on and off on the weekend - she said that while I am getting sufficient vitamin D - going on how brown I am - my body is not metabolising it like it should.  Apparently there are many people on the Gold Coast who are vitamin D deficient.)

I just burst out crying - I was so relieved that there was a definite reason for why I have been feeling like I have.  She patted my shoulder and said "It's OK Lovey - we'll work it out.  This probably won't fix everything, but it will go a long way to making you feel much better."  Now at $150 per appointment, I wasn't sure how many appointments I would need BUT now, knowing that she has discovered a reason and has given me some light at the end of the tunnel - I would pay ANYTHING to see her.

If there is anyone who is suffering from menopausal symptoms - please know this - you don't have to put up with it !!!!  Contact me if you want to know the lady I am seeing - I think she may treat people interstate via telephone appointments - and if she doesn't, she may be able to put you in touch with someone in your area.  She certainly has been around many years and knows what she is doing.  She told me today that she is nearly 70 (told A I thought that she was older than that !!!) so she has been through it and understands exactly what I am saying.

Here's to the beginning of better things.  I went out walking tonight, came home and did a routine of varied crunches and then planked for 1:10:06min.   My fit journal has been completed for the week and I am ready to tackle anything !!

And, because it is Tuesday, I am linking in with Jess from Essentially Jess for #IBOT.

TFTD : If you give in to your fears, you will have a harder time looking at yourself in the mirror.

Crushes Then and Now

WELCOME to my 250th post in this blog.

Linking in with Listmania 3 at Home Life Simplified and Kirsty at My Home Truths for Confessions - Crushes Past and Present  :

Past :
I couldn't go past Tom Selleck (Magnum PI) for my last teenage crush - man I loved that moustache of his and the way he used to jump into that little red convertible.  I even named a teddy after him !!!!  I still own said teddy (although now he sits in a black garbage bag along with some other mementos of my childhood).
David Cassidy - oh that hair
Donny Osmond - I was so sure he was singing to me !!!
Bay City Rollers - those clothes and shoes !
Jacques Kallis - I don't really know what attracted me to him but he was just a good overall package
John Travolta - wasn't he also singing to me and whirling me around the dance floor in Saturday Night Fever ?

Present :
Hugh Jackman - who doesn't love Hugh ?  I am so sorry I never got to see him perform The Boy from Oz - I am sure I would have loved it !
Gary Ablett - I love his bald head
George Bailey - has the nicest smile and appears to be very much the gentleman
And, as soppy as it is, I am adding A in here - after being together for 27 years I still have a crush on him !!!!

Here's to a fantastic week everyone.  Just got back from Dr Maxine (at least is what I call her because she reminds me of the cartoon character !!!) - THERE. IS. A. REASON. FOR. WHY. I. FEEL. LIKE. I. DO - and it is treatable - WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-BLOODY-HOOOOOOOOOOO !!!  I cannot tell you how I feel right now and, as she said, it may not fix all the problems but it will certainly go a long way towards helping me feel better !!

TFTD : An effort made for the happiness of others lifts us above ourselves.

Today Sucks

For some reason - today sucks !  If you are wanting a motivating, positive post, now is probably the right time to click off this page - no motivation or positivity here - you've been warned ...........

A & K are working and I had the whole day (well nearly the whole day to myself) and what did I do - sat at home crying - for no particular reason except I felt like that was all I could do.  I felt the anxiety well up in me.  I felt scared about going to the shops.  I was having hot flushes.  I felt cr*p.

I did all the washing.  Changed the sheets, washed and hung them out to dry.  I got dressed and I went to the shops because there were groceries that we needed.

I thought that I had this menopause thing sorted - clearly I was wrong.  Today I am not doing well at all - the anxiety, the fear, the hot flushes, the tears - they are all part and parcel of going through menopause.  Maybe I need to go back to the dr and have a look at changing the medication - or maybe it is just a one day glitch - will see how I feel tomorrow.

Why are there so many stupid people in shopping centres now ?  Why do they walk along and then JUST.STOP ?  And then turn around and give me a dirty look because I nearly ran into them ????  Move to the side if you want to stop and chat with your friend !!!  Some of us know what we want and where we want to be - if you want to dawdle along, that is fine - but move to the side and don't take up the whole walking area.

Why do so many people let their children run around uncontrollably ?  I understsand you think that your little darlings are just the best little kids you have ever encountered - but not everybody thinks the same as you.

My days of little children are over - I don't want to go out and be subjected to kids screaming their heads off  while being ignored by their parents.  They are your children - as much as you may want to disown them - you can't - deal with them.

Sorry there is  no Thought for the Day today - I read a few and it just doesn't feel right to post any of them !!!

Have a great day !!

A Quick Recap

Where to start - it has been too long since my last post but it hasn't been for want of trying or wanting to post - I just haven't managed to get my act together and get it done.

This evening I have spent the last couple of hours catching up on blog posts and twitter and a quick squiz on FB and feel that, while I haven't read every post on blogs I follow, I am generally all caught after utilising my super power of speed reading !!!!

Since my last post re my menopausal musings, I have had one day (Wednesday) off sick with a headache that saw me stay in bed all day and sleep about 22 hrs of the 24 hrs on that given day !!  Whether it was menopausal related or not I don't know, I just know that I don't like it when it happens. I used to suffer really badly with similar headaches when I was on the pill but it has been a while since I have felt so debilitated with it.

I have also been to see the dr (Thursday) who sent me for a blood test and put me on some anti-depressant tablets which have been successful in hormone balancing tests.  Honestly, I don't care what they are called, I just want them to work.  Unfortunately, they take 2-4 weeks before you see any results so, keep hiding family, probably better for all of us !!!

On Monday night I went for a run - my first since the race.  It was a reasonable run - I was glad I didn't go further than the 5.38km that I did do.  I don't know if it is just psychology, but I kept worrying about my knees giving in and getting damaged.  So, I have taken the lazy option and decided that I won't run until I get the orthotics which should arrive next week.

On Saturday night A and I went to see Ted while waited for K's plane from Melbourne to arrive.  A very stupid but at times very funny movie.  A didn't like the drug scenes in it and felt that the story wouldn't have been very different if they had of left those scenes out.  I said I wasn't sure that it would influence someone to take drugs just because they had seen a cartoon character doing drugs with Mark Warlberg !!

This is what I am talking about - have just realised that I can't even post a blog in sequential days of the week order !!!!  Sorry - blaming my mushy brain for this !

This afternoon I was going downstairs to the loo and decided that it would be quicker if I didn't actually walk down the last three stairs but rather slide down them, try to right myself before I went through the glass door at the bottom of the stairs and then use my head and my shoulder to stop myself up against the wall to the warehouse - really just try to add some fun to a Friday afternoon at the office (Don't you all do that or is it just me who tries to make it exciting at work ????).  Consequently, my knee and shoulder are aching and I have a nice headache with a red sort of burn mark on my forehead.  My knee is also swollen with a carpet burn on it - soooooooooooooooo I am now sitting here with my feet up and an ice pack on it.  Will this hinder my running when I get my orthotics - IT BETTER BLOODY NOT !!!!!!

A is working away from home.  I was supposed to drive up and meet him in Noosa after work tonight and then go through to Eumundi markets tomorrow but given the cr*ppy weather I have decided to stay at home and maybe go into the office tomorrow to try to get on top of things before the start of next week.  It is less than 4 weeks until we leave for NZ and I have so much I want to get done before I leave.  Then, Carmen from musingnmayhem is coming down to a roller derby (I hope I have called it the right thing !!!) and we are hoping to meet - if I don't get too self conscious and shy and not manage to get there !!!!

On Sunday we have a barefoot bowls afternoon with A's work (Don't understand why they would organise a family day once they have decided to close the division down - rather give him the money thank you very much !!!) - hopefully my knee will be fine by then otherwise I think I will have to take a book with me.  I don't find bowls that much fun to play and I think watching it is about as exciting as watching paint dry !!!!

I am linking in with bbeingcool for her last Team Friday linky.  B, I am very sorry that you won't be hosting this linky anymore but I will still be around reading !!!  Looking forward to linking up with Stacey-Lee from next week.

So, from a rather befuddled brain - wishing you the best weekend ever !  For those on the Gold Coast, stay as dry as you can and maybe we should all buys shares in whichever company sells wellingtons - if this rain doesn't stop soon I am going to have to seriously think about moving !!!!!

TFTD : You are a beautiful creation - perfectly imperfect - a work in progress.  You have everything you need to fulfil your purpose.  Don't dilute yourself for any person or any reason.  You are enough.  Be unapologetically you !

Menopausal Musings

I have come to the conclusion that I have hit menopause - BUGGER !!!  It really isn't fun and, to be honest, I thought that I was too young for it anyway !  Clearly I was mistaken on that count.  So, during my investigations of exactly what I can expect to happen over the next however long it takes to get over it, this is what I have found out with regards to the symptoms :

There are 34 of them on this website !!!  I suppose I should be grateful that I have not been afflicted with all 34 !!!

- hot flushes - oh this is a goodie.  I can sit here with everyone else rugged up and before you know it I am stripping off and sitting in my undies (sorry TMI !) - luckily we haven't had anyone around visiting when this has happened.

 - night sweats - similar to above except my jarmies get soaking wet and I have to change our linen at least every two days.  So what happens when I am in bed is that I snuggle under the doona until the sweats strike when I throw the doona off for 5 mins to cool down, pull the doona up and then at least another 3-4 times during the night I repeat.

I have been taking wild yam to counteract these two symptoms and it does seem to be working - the down side is that they taste like cr*p so even when you find a solution for the symptom, the solution is a bit cr*p anyway !!!

- mood swings - what more can I say ?  Sometimes my family run for cover when I arrive home because they aren't quite sure what to expect - hell I don't even know what to expect from myself from one minute to the next !

- fatigue - given how badly I have been sleeping, whether because of A's snoring or the bloody menopause, I don't know - what I do know is that I am always tired, even when I wake up, I'm tired.

- hair loss - on this one I seem to have gone the opposite way.  I have always had really thick hair - the amount of new hair that is growing is amazing - and painful - because I have all these new hairs sticking up in places where my hair shouldn't be sticking up !!!

- sleep disorders - like I wasn't doing a good enough job of having cr*ppy sleep every night all by myself - this just makes it 1,000 times worse !!

- difficulty concentrating - this I have really noticed at work.  I cannot seem to stay focussed on the task at hand for very long at all.  My mind is all over the place and my work is definitely suffering.  Things that I could knock over in an hour are taking me nearly a whole morning - it is driving me nuts given that it is year end and I have 6 companies I am supposed to be winding up for the year !!!  I cannot even read for any length of time.  I used to read 4-5 library books a fort-night - now I it takes me close to a month to finish a book.

- incontinence - well I don't really suffer from this but only because I have been really good for the past couple of months doing my pelvic floor exercises - I used to think they were a waste of time but I did them just in case they did actually work - I am sooooooooooooo glad I did because they do work !!!!

- irritability - see mood swings above !!!  I don't understand how things that never used to worry / annoy me can send me over the edge now ?????  Note to self - I wonder if this is why A has to work away from home so much - anything to get away from the dragon witch I am sure he thinks he is married to ?????

- headaches - definitely had more achey feeling in my head the last couple of months - not headaches per se, just not feeling right.

- joint pain - I thought this was just the arthritis in my knees and elbows but maybe it isn't just that - maybe it is the menopause on top of the arthritis / old age - yay double whammy !!!!

- muscle tension - again, I thought it was just stress and because especially my neck and back are always tight - this obviously doesn't help in any way, shape or form.

- weight gain - my weight is going up but my measurements seem to be staying pretty static so not sure what the go is with that.

- itchy skin - at night my arms can drive me nuts with how much they itch.  I have tried different tops, I have tried different sheets, I have tried using moisturiser on them, I have tried not using moisturiser on them - nothing seems to help - they itch like I have been touching poison ivy - another yay !!!!

When I look at the list above, I realise that maybe I am not that badly done by given there are 34 possible symptoms that I could be suffering from.  I think it is time I took myself back to the naturopath to see what she can recommend to try to make me a little more bearable to live with !!!

Have you suffered with this ?  Can you make any recommendations about what I could try to do to alleviate some / all / any of the above ? 

Linking in with Dorothy at Singular Insanity for Things I Know this week !

TFTD : Your past circumstances and background may have influenced who you are today, but only YOU are responsible for who you become tomorrow.