Back Running .............. Sort Of

Thank you to everyone for the condolence messages you sent.  I really appreciate them.  I am really happy that I could make my aunt's funeral and even more so that I managed to get up and speak - until the last two sentences when I sort of lost it a little and had to take a little longer than a moment to regroup and get those last two sentences out - but I did it and, for me, given how much I hate public speaking - or any speaking involving more than a group of about 5 or 6 people, I was very happy - or at least as happy as you can be at the funeral of a favourite aunt !

Going back to South Africa was an eye-opener for me as well as confirmation that, when we made the decision and left nearly 15 years ago, it was the right decision for our family.  I phoned A when we had got to where we were staying and said "If there had ever been any teeny tiny inclination about whether we made the right decision to leave - we did."  Not that there has been ANY moments when we questioned our decision but it was good to know that we had made the right decision.

I was going to post about my 4 days in SA but, out of respect for the people who still live there, I'm not.  While I loved the country when I lived there, for me, my 4 day trip was 3 days too long.  And, as much as I LOVED catching up with my 'adopted' sister and seeing friends and neighbours I haven't seen for 15-20 years, I couldn't wait to get home.  Australia is definitely my home and to those people who don't like it here, there are plenty of airports - go somewhere else - and, once you are there, maybe you will appreciate just how good we have it here.

But, back to my running.  It starts.  And stops.  And starts again.  And stops again.  And this is doing my head in.  I am a few weeks behind other ladies in our LTR group but I'm not the only one who isn't keeping up (pun intended) with everyone else.  Between the trip to SA where I thought I would go for at least 1 or 2 runs and didn't go for any, and head colds and coughs, it's not going as well as I want it to but I am committed to keep on with what I can do.  I had thought I would enter a 5km run this Sunday but, having woken up with another head cold on Saturday and, despite stuffing armmo force and cold and flu tablets down my throat, I'm still feeling yucky, I may save my $35 and enter another one after I have actually managed to keep going for 5km !!!!!!

I am loving my Garmin 220 for keeping track of what I am doing - although it would be heaps better if I could figure out exactly how it works before I start my intervals so that they are all recorded instead of only part of them being recorded !!!!  Last night I read that it could sync it to my phone so I am going to try to do that tonight - even if I don't manage to get out and run myself given I am barking worse than all the dogs in our neighbourhood put together and my chest is soooooooo sore.

I have another appointment with my hormone fairy later this week so that will be good because (a) my toche taking has been iffy at best which is probably the reason I am suffering with hot flushes, the itches and sleeping badly although, to be fair to menopause, I probably can't blame the poor sleep on it, I have been a bad sleeper for a lot longer than I have been going through menopause and (b) I have run out of medication so even on the nights I did remember to take it, I didn't have any to take.

Thankfully the renovation of the bathroom and WIR are FINISHED !!!!!  The only thing left to do in the house is - carpets in the other rooms bar the study and security screens if we decide to change those.  There is heaps that A wants to do outside but it will all depend on how much money we have available.  We think we are getting closer to finalising a builder and getting council approval for 'the little house' - I just wish there was a step by step guide somewhere about how to go about building a granny flat so we would know that before we go to council we have to get the waster management system guy in or the soil tests done etc etc.  The delays in moving forward because 'Oh, have you got XYZ or have you done ABC - no ? - oh well you need to do this or that before you come to us' is doing my head in !!!!

On that note - I am off to read other blogs joining in with Jess for #IBOT.

Have a fantastic week !

TFTD : Nobody who ever gave their very best regretted it.

Thankful Thursday

Another late post that I am scrambling around to put together - but only after reading Francesca's Thankful Thursday post - mainly because I want to say EXACTLY what she said !!!!

Only I don't have Missy Moos to spend time with - K, right now, isn't someone I want to spend too much time with - she wears about 25 pairs of cranky pants at a time PLUS I realise that this is actually not her issue, it's mine because I am wearing 50 pairs of cranky pants most of the time !!!  (What do they say about what you see in others being a reflection of yourself ?)

Poor A is stuck in the middle (Now I would really rather be a reflection of him but that doesn't seem to be happening !!!) and I do feel sorry for him - he says that he doesn't want to go back to work in Townsville but I wonder if there is a teeny tiny bit of him that is looking forward to getting out of the house from hell !!!!  I am so sick and tired of the tension between the two of them - he is the protective father who seems to be having some trouble letting go of  his little girl and she seems to go out of her way to be narky towards him at every opportunity that she can.

I had a long talk to her about it last night and her comment was "Was Papa like that with you ?" - I tried to explain to her that I grew up in a totally different environment.  My parents spoke and that was that - their word was law.  There were no discussions.  There were no negotiations. And there was certainly no back chat.  There was respect and there was acceptance of what they had said.  Now I understand that we are largely to blame for her up front attitude because we brought her up to be independant and to question things but we certainly didn't bring her up to be dis-respectful - she learned that all by herself somewhere along the way !!!

Having complained about them I am still thankful that they are my family, my support and my anchors.  I am thankful that they are in my life.  I am thankful for my on-line friends although I feel that I have neglected them of late and have been rushing around trying to comment on as many posts as I can.  Maybe that is part of the problem - I need to take a step back and hope that people will not think I am snubbing them if I haven't commented, it just means I haven't had time.  I linked in late for #IBOT and felt so guilty because I didn't get to at least 98% of the blogs - yes, that is how many I try to comment on.  Generally I don't comment on giveaways, reviews or recipes.  Honestly, I haven't posted because I have been too busy trying to comment - maybe I have this blogging thing around the wrong way - maybe I should post when I have something to say and comment when I can ? 

Do you comment before you blog or write your

post and then comment on other blogs ?

 

TFTD : Dare to reach into the darkness, to pull someone else into the light. Remember, strong people stand up for themselves, but stronger people stand up for others too, and lend a hand when they’re able.

 

Things I Know

It's Friday (do I hear a whole bunch of TGIF's ????  Cos there is certainly a HUGE shout of that from me !!) which means that it is time to link up with Miss Cinders for the Things I Know linky because, as MC always tells us, we all know sh*t.

And this week I know that I had a bad day on Wednesday but one e-mail turned my perception of my day around and it turned out to be a pretty cool day !

I know that I am SOOOOOOOOOOO looking forward to #vvow tonight.  During yesterday I was tweeting about #vvow and how much I am looking forward to it and asked the question if it was silly or sad that I was so looking forward to it ?  I got the following reply "I was trying to explain it to Miss 6 this morning and it sounded really sad!"  To which I replied "I think maybe it is only sad if we think it is sad !!! Maybe we should choose to think of it as fun and a safe way to drink!"  That made me spend a fair bit of the afternoon (because, hey it was better than trying to finalise a budget !!)thinking about my perception of things.  At the end of the day, things are what they are, and it is only my perception that affects me.  I totally get that there are times when 'things' become over whelming - I honestly felt like that yesterday because there was nothing specific that was worrying me, but there was enough 'stuff' that made me spend a fair bit of my day, hiding behind my computer monitors, crying ! Maybe I didn't try hard enough to see the positives in the day - the sunshine outside, the healthy family that I have, the sauna that I was working in - OK that wasn't really a positive.  Or maybe I just have to accept that there are days when things feel a bit cr*ppy and that is OK too.

I know that I am looking forward to catching up with a friend on Saturday for a chat - this is my friend who makes me laugh so much that when we leave each other my stomach absolutely aches !

I know that I am looking forward to catching up with an ex-boss on Saturday night - we haven't seen each other for absolutely ages and things have changed heaps for her since we last spoke - I am sure that we will have lots to talk about.

I know that I am going to be going to visit my BIL and SIL who live just around the corner from me on Sunday morning because the Gold Coast Marathon runs past our home and I can't go out in the car but I can walk around to their place.

I know that keeping busy over the weekend is good for me.  I feel that I am starting to become a bit of a hermit - if I am not going to work and have done the grocery shopping, I don't want to go out anywhere because I am so embarrassed by my size.  I know that this is how it is for now.  I know that there is nothing more that I can do to change my weight BUT that doesn't make it any easier for me to accept.  I know that it is just a number on the scale but even if I didn't see that number every day, I would be able to tell from my clothes that my weight is not doing what it should be doing.  Cutting out sugar, wheat and dairy should not see me put on close to 30kgs in approx. 6 months.  I know that there have been times when sugar has crept back into my diet but not to the extent of 30kgs worth !! That is something that I do know for sure !!

I know that I am looking forward to a quiet day at work - with only me in the office - and plenty of time to work through budgets and end of financial year stuff !

I know that if I don't cut up the coconut rough it lasts a lot longer !

What do you know this week ?

Why not share it over at Miss Cinders ?

TFTD : If we counted our blessings instead of our money, we would all be a lot richer.

Have the B.E.S.T weekend and don't forget about #vvow tonight - 8pm on Twitter - wear your pj's / most comfy clothes - and be ready to laugh !