Need To Change My Head Space

I have signed up for Far & Fast with Operation Move and got my training plan on the weekend.  I know that it is doable and I love that I am now being held accountable because, for me, accountability is what counts.  Accountability is what gets me out the door - especially in the early stages where I am trying to fake it until I make it in terms of loving what I'm doing.  Don't get me wrong - there are some days I can't wait to get home, pull on my runners and get out there but there are still too many days when I get home and force myself to get out there BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S WHAT I NEED TO DO not because I want to.

But, having been down this path before, I know that there will come a point in time when I run because I want to - as well as because I need to !!  I just need to keep going until that switch is flicked.  Once it's flicked, that's me - I'm on my way to a half marathon (well that's my goal at the moment - I'll have to wait and see how it goes)

I am used to running on the flat.  I have times in my head of how fast I ran - on the flat.  Now I am running some flat but some hills as well and I can't get my head around how slow I am.  Yes, I know I've only just started running again but I still feel that by now I should be running faster than I am.

Last night I ran - in tears - because I was just too slow.  Too slow for what - I have no idea - just too slow.  I spoke to A about it and he suggested *shock horror* running without technology - just running and either having a good run, a not so good run or even possibly a bad run.  I told him I didn't think I could do that because I use the technology to spur me on to the next km or for the next minute.  There was a post recently by the amazing Zoey about taking some ego out of your running and I think that is what I need to do - I need to get my head around the fact that I am not the same person I was when I used to run.  I am me now and I am different and I have other issues to deal with that I didn't have back then.  And that it's OK - so long as I am moving, I am making a difference to my body.

As we all know - sometimes our hearts over-rule our heads - and I really need to have my head over-rule my heart on this one.  I accept that I will never win a race - I've never expected to so that isn't a shock.  I accept that I may never run a marathon - I can't say I've ever thought I would, so that isn't a shock either.  But I won't accept that I may never run a 10km or a half marathon race - because those are my goals and, if I can get my head to over-rule my heart, I may just achieve them !!!!

Have the best day that you can !

Does your head or your heart rule you ?

What have you done to change 

which one rules ?

TFTD : Focus your conscious mind on things you desire not things you fear.  Doing so brings dreams to life.