Gym 1 - Couch 0

Another day another class but man, can I feel it today.  Even turning over in bed last night caused some pain !!!  But it's that good DOMS ache so I am not complaining.  The stairs at work are a killer though !

The class last night was a tad more aerobic than what I was expecting but I managed to keep up - sort of.  Clearly I wasn't the most un-co there as there was a guy in front of me who looked even more un-co than I did !

But, it was good and I was completely buggered after I had finished.  Plus I forgot to take my water so that didn't help :(

What I am finding is that when I get home I am not hungry and don't want to eat anything - have got in touch with the dietician to see what she recommends.

Tonight A and I are going to for a walk with the dogs - I want to try to spend the last two evenings with him before he goes.  Yesterday he thought he may have to leave on Thursday but by last night it had reverted to leaving on Friday.

K and I will go and sign up with the gym tomorrow and then it will be me and the gym - my new bestie !!!

Have the best day and take care !

TFTD : Each moment is a place you've never been - Mark Strand

I Must Confess

This week I am joining in with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I Must Confess because I need to get this off my chest (OK, I have already got it off my chest to A) but in order to be held more accountable and, given he doesn't live at home much, I thought I would put it out there.

A few months ago I started a paleo lifestyle, at the instigation of my doctor when she told me that I would more than likely become diabetic within 5 years if I didn't do something about it.  So I went cold turkey - cut out wheat, sugar and dairy.  There was the odd occasion when I felt like an ice-cold Coke and I would generally wait a night or two and if I still felt like it, I would have it, and savour every single drop of it.  I found this rather strange as I have, as a rule, not been a Coke girl - I drank Coke Zero for many years and then swopped to Pepsi Max and couldn't stomach 'real' Coke.

I have made coconut rough and chocolate fudge, chocolate cake and banana and nut muffins - all in an attempt to make me feel like I wasn't missing out on any of the 'nice' things to eat.  And they are nice, make no mistake BUT they are not sugar, nor do they contain sugar.

I like sugar.  I like how it tastes.  I like the things that are made of sugar.  I would rather have dessert than dinner.  I do not like how sugar makes me feel.  But, as I have mentioned before, I don't handle sugar very well.  When I have something with sugar in, I generally crash about 20-30 mins later and will sleep for a good 4-5 hrs if given the chance.

Since A has been away, and more especially while K was away house-sitting, my eating has gone to absolute cr*p.  I would make one big wok of stir fry on a Monday night and then take it to work for lunch every day.  Dinner became carrot sticks and dip, or dry wors if I could be bothered to go out to Coomera to buy some, or Coke.  Yes, you read that right - I would have one can, then another, then another and finally another - and none of them even really touched sides - I would skull them all - and then be too full to eat anything (funny that, hey !!!???)  On Friday I stopped at Bakers Delight and bought two croissants for breakfast.  We stopped at Stapleton on the way to the airport and I had a muffin for lunch.  Got to Townsville and we went to the local hotel and had ribs and chips for dinner.  I had sugar overload badly on Friday.  My body didn't like it one little bit.  Why do I do this to myself ?  I know I am going to feel cr*p afterwards - I could hardly keep a conversation going with K on the way to the airport as I was so out of it from the sugar, and nodding off in the passenger seat,

Honestly, I have absolutely no idea what has happened to the good eating habits that I used to have but what I do know is that I have to find them soon.  I am hoping to use our holiday as motivation to eat right and get moving and I am hoping that, having made this confession, my village will hold me accountable for what I do (or don't do) moving forward.  I know that I need to be held accountable somewhere and with spending so much time by myself, it is too easy to just eat and drink what I want when I want it.  A is doing so well with losing weight - while he doesn't know how much he has lost because he doesn't have a scale up there, I could certainly see it and when I asked him about it he said that he has had to pull his belt in to the next hole.  I am SOOOOOOOO happy for him although I am just sorry that he had to get a health scare like this to make him do what he needs to do.  Either way, I'm extremely proud of the progress that he has made.

I will try to post about how I am doing but if you don't read anything, please feel free to ask how I am going and kick my butt if that is what I need !!!!

Have the best week and thanks to Kirsty for hosting this linky !!!

TFTD : No matter how much it hurts now, someday you will look back and realise your struggles changed your life for the better.

A New Year !

Today is a new day.  Today is a new year.  Today is the day that I sit down and make plans - not resolutions - plans, for what I want to achieve this year.

Top of the list - a healthy body (having my first soft drink for over a week is probably not the best way to start but sometimes you just have to give the water a break !!!!).  My plan is to eat healthily, exercise regularly and listen to my body when it talks to me.

I know that no dairy, no sugar, no wheat makes my body function better.

I know that exercising regularly makes my body feel more energised and work better.

I know that listening to my body when it talks to me makes me more aware of how I am treating it and if I am not treating it correctly, it lets me know (in no uncertain terms).

A friend if mine has told me about mindful eating and I plan on making that a habit when I am eating too - getting rid of the mindless eating that I sometimes find myself doing.

I started exercising on 27th December - slowly building up from walking to nearly running the whole way.  This morning I went for a run.  I have been walking / running with A and the dogs - we walk and then he will take both dogs and I will run up and down a few side roads, join up with them, walk a while and then go off running again.  I have been so pleased with how I was doing.  Yesterday morning I went for a (mostly all) run (only walked about 6 light posts) and felt good except for a little twinge in my right hamstring.  I got home and stretched really well and nursed it along (well enough I thought but now I know different !!!).  Drove down to Kyogle yesterday and it seemed to be OK.

This morning I woke up and decided to go for a run - walked to half way through the foot path to the Broadwater and started to run - not even 1km into my run and I could feel my hamstring.  I was so tempted to just suck it up and do a 5km run but then my head got the better of  me and I decided to just look back home.  So a very short run to start the year but, in all honesty, it is better than nothing - not because of the distance, but the mental side of actually getting out there and exercising.

I got home and stretched and am going to spend the rest of the day icing and resting it BECAUSE THIS YEAR I AM GOING TO RUN MORE than I did last year.  I am going to look after my body so that it can do what it is supposed to do - what it is meant to do - properly !!!!

And, because it is a Tuesday, I am linking in with Jess and her new team at #IBOT

(I cannot believe that tomorrow it will be a month since I last blogged - where has the time gone to ?)

TFTD :  When you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged and still perfectly capable of changing yourself !

A Great Place

Linking in with Stacey-Lee from GetOnWithItAlready - what place are you in right now ?  Not physically - but emotionally and mentally ?  Are you where you want to be ?  Are you close to where you want to be ? Or is where you want to be not even on the horizon for you ?

I didn't realise just how directionless (I think that is the word I am looking for) I was until I looked back over the past few months and realised that apart from a couple of events and a holiday to NZ, I really was just marking time.  No concrete goals to aim for.  Just marking time.

I was thinking about myself recently and realised that now I have direction - I have goals I want to achieve and I am following specific paths to achieve those goals.

1.  I committed to the LEANing Challenge with We Are Slimming
2.  I committed to Tracey's 30/30 challenge for November at Bliss Amongst Chaos
3.  I am involved in research for a book that involves all different areas of my life
4.  I committed to Kate's #operationMOVE for November at katesaysstuff (which I am doing in conjunction with point 2 above)

Looking now I see it is just 4 points - which to my way of thinking previously - was a bit piss-willy - really, all I could come up with was 4 ??????  But now I realise that maybe the smaller the number the more chance I have of achieving them - I tend to be an all or nothing kind of girl so often would tackle a million lots of things at once and then burn out without finishing most of them. 

I can't tell you how different I feel on the LEANing challenge  - no sugar, no wheat, no soft drinks, no dairy and I feel fantastic.  My energy levels are up and I feel so much clearer in myself (not sure that is an expression but that is how I feel !!!).  Yes, it takes a lot of preparation.  Yes, it means I have to be more organised.  Yes, I have to have a plan.  But, between K and I, we are doing it.

My newest 'sweet' - 70% cocoa chocolate

My child who is normally a grumble bum about most things that don't revolve around her - has become (for now anyway) a helpful, considerate, thoughtful young adult to have around the house.  She has been amazing - so much so on Wednesday night she came and sat next to me with her computer and said "Let's do a menu plan for next week so we can get the shopping done and we know what meals I'm cooking and which one's you are cooking." - as I said before whoever has swopped out my child, please don't swop her back anytime soon !!!!!

It looks like A might be getting a bit more interested in exercising and eating healthy food.  He has been for a run for me one night and was going to run last night but into our walk he was light-headed and didn't feel well so we walked home and I just went for a run by myself.  I hope that our good habits start to rub off on him - he used to be so fit and healthy.

Next weekend we have Warrior Dash at Kilcoy - I am hoping that it will be just as much fun as The Stampede. Tomorrow we are going op shopping to find clothes and shoes to wear because once you are finished, the bin is really the only place for your clothes / shoes !!

I am choosing to embrace the positives.  I will acknowledge, then let go of the negatives. This is the time for me to look after ME.  It is the time for me to accept that I may not get to be the weight that I think I should be but I can still have a healthy body - one that I nurture and nourish and treat with respect - not only with how I dress / look but how much I exercise and feed it.

I am off to have my next lot of water - have the BEST day that you can and I hope that your weekend brings you whatever it is that you need !

Also joining in for FYBF with Grace from With Some Grace - hop over and meet some other bloggers !

TFTD : Success is not a skill, it's a persistent attitude

A Good Week

This past week has been a good week for me, not a great week, but a good week nonetheless.

I changed my eating plan and, for the next 30 days, am following the LEANing Challenge with We Are Slimming.  This first week I lost 1.8kg which I am really happy with.  The few kgs that I picked up while on holiday in NZ in August seem to be stuck with glue and I have been really battling to get them off.  It looks like they might be coming off now.

This eating plan is very much like the 500cal/day that I did a few months ago except that you can have more than 500cal a day !  No dairy, no sugar, no carbs, no wheat, no soft drinks (which is killing me I have to be honest !!) BUT I am enjoying the food.  It just means that I need to be more organised and better prepared as it isn't that easy to grab food on the fly. (Bugger, just remembered I left the avo to go with my lunch at home !!!)  Oh well, at $2.50 per avo, it just means I can save a bit of money as I won't have to buy avos as soon as I thought I would !

The one downside of my week has been very little exercise - mainly because last week the weather was really cr*ppy and then on Friday when A and I were taking the dogs for a walk, I hurt my knee.  Iced it Friday night and spent a lot of Saturday on the couch icing it.  The good thing is that on Sunday it felt so much better that last night we went for a 45 min walk without it twingeing at all.

I am hoping to go for a short run tonight (weather permitting) before we fetch my folks to take them out to dinner for my Mom's 75th birthday tonight.

I would like to put a call out to whoever swopped my child, can you please not swop her back - ever - and I really do mean - ever !!!!  This child (young adult ?) that I have that is helpful, considerate, patient and  understanding is so different from the grumpy, cranky pants wearing child that normally resides in our home, and I would dearly love her to stay forever (or am I just living in cloud cuckoo land ?)  I guess I will just be grateful for however long she stays !

I have committed to a new challenge with Tracey from Bliss Amongst Chaos for the month of November - 30 mins exercise per day.  I know that all the people I have spoken to about training etc have advised me about how rest days are just as important as training days but I have figured that, if on a rest day I only just go for a walk with A and the dogs, it really isn't training, it is just getting out there and moving my legs and surely it won't hurt ?  So if you are up for it - join it - the more the merrier !

Linking in with the lovely Jess from dairyofasahm for #IBOT for the very last time on this blog - good luck with your rebrand Jess - I am sure that your readers will follow you !

TFTD : The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss and have found their way out of the depths.  These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness and a deep loving concern.  Beautiful people do not just happen.

Man I Hate Detoxing !

On Tuesday I posted about making decisions.  Last night I made one of them - to join the LEANing Challenge with We Are Slimming.  I had already paid my money but then, after getting the manual and menu plan, went all sooki and didn't know if I would do it.

I had three days of L&E this week anyway, so thought I would give myself a couple of days to look at the manual and decide.  Well, I didn't so much read the manual and skim through it, mainly because I find manuals boring to read and picked up bits and pieces about what I could and couldn't eat.

So, last night being the last day of L&E, I figure I am going to either have to go and do some serious food shopping or else it was going to be another day that I fluffed around eating whatever I could lay my hands on.    It was K's turn to make dinner so as soon as I got home from work we made a shopping list (for me and for her because heaven forbid she should actually have got all the ingredients for dinner before 6pm on the night she is going to cook !!!) and off we went.  Well $140 and 4 grocery packets later we were home.  She asked a gazillion questions about how to make the chicken with mushroom and asparagus sauce that she had chosen to make inbetween us getting home and me dashing off to get de-haired !

Her recipe says 20 mins prep and 25 mins cooking time.  I get home just over an hour later and she is still getting it together to go into the oven !!!!  But, once it was done and we ate, it was actually bloody nice - probably her best effort so far.

I had a quick look at the menu plan for today - some mexican taco for breakfast - well that ain't going to happen now is it ?  No way I am getting up earlier than 6am to bloody cook breakfast.  So I made do with a glass of OJ and a handful of nuts !

I was a little better prepared (although not by much) for lunch and had prawns and avo/tomatoe.  I nearly had a heart attack - $2,50 for an avo - and they recommend an avo / nuts every day (for the good fats of course !!!)  Anyway, it was actually quite tasty although I only ate half of it - thought that at that price I had better ration myself with how much avo I eat - I can quite easily sit down and eat a whole avo with a little bit of salt and a sprinkling of pepper !

For dinner we had a really nice dish called paleo pancit - (have no idea what the name means except that a paleo diet is one using raw food - I think - don't quote me on it in case you get sued for wrong information !!!).  I changed it slightly as it should have had chicken, pork loin and shrimps - but we only used chicken as the others were too expensive !!!  With grated carrot, cabbage and onion.  Throw in some crushed garlic, soy sauce, chicken stock and fish sauce - bloody nice it was and it made an absolute mountain of food.  So I have frozen it for another 3 meals each for K and I - gotta love things you can take out the freezer and don't have to cook from scratch every night !!!  Oh yes, and start it all off with some coconut oil !

This eating plan is pretty much -  protein, non-starchy veg, some fruit and fats - no dairy and no wheat / carbs.  Drinking is water - tea - coffee - with almond / coconut milk if you want.  Well I don't drink tea or coffee and while I try to drink at least 1L of water a day (Mon-Fri anyway) my drink of choice is Pepsi Max - well not for the next 30 days it isn't.  My drink of choice is now WATER !!!!!!  I know I can do it because I have done it before but man it is so bloody hard.

I started with a headache at about 11.30 this morning and it has gotten progressively worse over the course of the rest of the day.  Detox - I HATE YOU !!!!  Of course, if I didn't feed my body with all the cr*p that I have done in the past, I wouldn't have picked up the weight and I wouldn't be trying to lean my body down so I do realise that I am totally responsible for having to do the detox - it just doesn't make it easier.

I was all set to run this evening after work but by the time I got home there was no ways I could manage to get out there and run - not feeling the way I did.  So instead I got started on dinner because the plan was to make the breakfast muffins tonight and, as they freeze well, just heat them up tomorrow morning.  Well after doing dinner there was no way I was going to start all over again making egg and bacon muffin thingies so change of menu and we are having coconut smoothies for breakfast instead.  On Saturday I will make the muffins and freeze them to be used during the week.  I will also  be making some frittatas to freeze and use during the week.  I just need to be organised and I can do this provided I can get rid of this bloody headache before then otherwise I am going to be swanning around on the couch feeling very sorry for myself and watching the World Series games that we will have taped during this week !!

And, because detoxing isn't bad enough, I have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning !  I HATE the dentist (probably more than the detox !!!) and have put off going for more years than I care to think about but, given this is the year I am taking myself out of my comfort zones and starting to take care of me, I thought a check-up was in order.

Linking in with Grace from With Some Grace for FYBF and Stacey-Lee from Get On With It Already for Team Friday.  Wishing you all the best weekend possible !!

TFTD : There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond your control.

Decisions Need To Be Made

Things have been going along fairly much unaided by myself recently.  Life happens.  Exercise happens.  Eating happens.  Relaxing happens.  But I feel like I have had very little control over it - mainly because I chose to step back and just let it happen.  And I have enjoyed it.  I have enjoyed the pressure that I have taken off myself to always be doing / organising / accomplishing and just let myself be.

But now the time has come to stop and make some decisions for what I want to do moving forward.  What path do I want to follow ?  What do I want to achieve ?  How am I going to get there ?  How am I going to make sure that I keep a good balance in my life ?  (None of these are work related questions - they are all ME questions about my health and fitness.)

These are questions that I am contemplating this week because I now feel motivated enough to tackle them and I want to get on the path that is right for me.

{Insert photo of pathway in here if I had one and wasn't too scared to pick one off Google images !!}

So, as soon as I have made the decisions that I need to make, and once I have heard back on some challenges I have been looking into, I'll be ready to go.  Until then I will continue to run and exercise and eat the best that I can !!

Have the best Tuesday ever !

Linking in with Jess from Dairy of a SAHM for #IBOT

TFTD : Don't cry over the past it is gone. Don't stress about the future it hasn't arrived.  Just live in the present and make it beautiful.

Where To From Here

Hi Everyone - we arrived home safely last Thursday night and can't believe that I have been back at work two days already - seems like ages ago that we were away - not only 5 days !!!

We had the best holiday with lots of laughter, lots of 'remember whens' and lots of sights to see.  We did everything we wanted.  We did more than what we planned and, the weather didn't stop us doing anything we wanted to do.  In fact, the weather was fantastic.  We only had one day of rain - the day we drove from Dunedin to Christchurch.  We did have overcast days.  We did have some spats of rain / periods of drizzle but on the whole, I was so pleasantly surprised by how good the weather was after everything that everyone had said about the miserable weather we were going to encounter !!!!

 

 

These are some of the amazing flowers we saw in NZ.

All in all a fantastic holiday - well worth every $ we spent.

I am going to blog about it separately and will load the link into this blog for anyone who may be interested in reading what we got up to and seeing the photos (hopefully by the end of the week !!!)

I had planned to get back into eating well and exercising as soon as possible after our holiday.  We ate and drank far too much while we were away and didn't do nearly enough exercise so I was pleasantly surprised when I gingerly stepped onto the scales to find that I had only put on just over 2.5kgs while we were away.  But this, on top of the 3kgs I gained before we left, coupled with the fact that since we got home I have managed to gain another 1.5kgs - means that I am now back in the seriously over weight category and I need to do something about it sooner rather than later.

On the weekend I bought the best Fit Journal from www.ladyjane.com.au - only it turns out I am too scared to commit to writing anything in it.  It has been sitting looking very pretty on my kitchen bench since I brought it home on Saturday morning !!!!  Tonight I got home from work - picked it up and read through it again - and then got so scared about commiting to a plan that I may not be able to stick to, I closed it and put it down again (where it is still sitting now) !!!

Last night K and I took the dogs for a 30 min walk - it felt good to get out.  Tonight I went back to training - it has been 39 days since I last recorded any exercise on https://idonethis.com and I was terrified about how training would go.  It didn't go well - I huffed and puffed my way through the 30 mins and couldn't wait to get home, shower and get my pj's on - after which I sat down with the computer and guzzled slowly ate my way through a packet of Grain Waves (the new chilli and lime flavour is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nice - but probably not the best option as my dinner !!!!) all the while drinking a couple of cans of Coke !!!!!  OK - maybe I am trying to get the junk food out my system as I ordered L&E for 5 days this week and that gets delivered tomorrow and I will start on Thursday.  Down side - after ordering this, I remembered that we are going to a farewell dinner on Friday night for friends moving to NZ, then we are catching up with friends for breakfast on Sunday and I'll be organising a Father's Day for dinner for A and my Dad.  Bugger - first week on L&E and I am going to have to do my best to make great choices when we are out.

Tonight I have been catching up on blogs - I have had to tick all as read after reading for close on 3 hrs and still having heaps to read - will be doing my best to catch up with everyone as they blog moving forward.  I really felt cut off from my online friends while we were on holiday. 

A is away again tonight.  Last night he spent at the sleep clinic - next Monday we go to get the results and find out exactly what they can do for him (and me) so that he doesn't have to take up sleeping in the lounge on a permanent basis (OK - it is more likely to be me sleeping in the loungeroom because I mostly feel bad when I wake him up because he is snoring - sometimes I don't feel that bad and off he goes !!!)

On Friday he finishes up with the company that he is currently working with.  He is one of the last people still there (mainly because he was on holiday).  Friday is a holiday on the Gold Coast so I am going to have a great day at home - maybe putting our NZ blog together - and then I will pick him up and we will go north of Brisbane to say goodbye to some dear friends who are leaving for NZ.  On Saturday night there is another roller derby on down here and I am hoping to be able to get there - I really enjoyed the last one I went to plus now that I know Carmen and Ames, it won't be quite as nerve wracking going there !!!!  On Sunday we are catching up with friends for breakfast and then we will get together with my folks for Father's Day.  So lots to look forward to on the weekend.  Now I just need to get through this week - busy, busy, busy at work trying to catch up on work from when I was on leave and get things prepared so I am ready for month end next week.  How come month end comes around more often than pay day ????????????????

Well, if anyone is still reading - thank you.  I have missed blogging and the experience of putting fingers to the keyboard !!!

Any tips / ideas for getting back on the exercise wagon will be greatly appreciated - how have you found your mojo in the past ?

Have the best hump day possible.

TFTD : Do your best and surrender the rest.  Tell yourself "I am doing the best I can with what I have in the moment.  That is all I can expect of anyone, including me."

Fitness Friday

Trying to get a head start on this post given I know that I won't be able to post at work tomorrow !!!  Linking in with B at bbeingcool (in anticipation that she will be hosting the meme this week as she always does !!!!)

I didn't quite achieve what I wanted to fitness wise this week - my effort consisted of :

Friday - 5.15km run 34:17
Tuesday - 5.16km run 33.:22
Wednesday - 30 mins personal training
Thursday - 5.13km run 34.:41

My goal for the long weekend was one long run of between 13-15km - I did nothing !  In fact, on Monday I didn't even get out of my pyjamas !!!!  And the reason for that was the weather - it was miserable - but not only miserable, it was cold and raining and windy and, while I did think about going out there, sanity prevailed and I stayed under the doona with the rest of the family !!!!

We did manage a big cook up on Saturday / Sunday.  Now I have a freezer full of slow cooked meals that I need only take out in the morning to defrost, put some rice on to cook before I go exercising in the evening and voila, we have a lovely home cooked meal for dinner.  I love being this organised so that I know that while I am exercising I am also eating well, and not damaging the good that I am doing with my exercising by eating badly.

Last night our trainer had us doing walking lunges while holding 10kg weights in each hand.  I cannot believe that I used to walk around carrying more than that in extra weight - how did I manage it day in and day out ?  Needless to say, my glutes can feel it today and my legs felt really heavy, tired and stiff on my run tonight.  I had planned on running 6.25km but just couldn't manage it - I still battle with not meeting the goals that I set for myself but part of me does realise that, while my head may think I can achieve a certain goal, sometimes my tired old body won't comply - and that is OK !!!

I am planning on a long run this weekend (the one that didn't happen last weekend) - will let you know how it did (or didn't) go next week !!!

Have the best Friday possible and an ever better weekend !

TFTD - Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go and move on.

Fitness Friday

Gosh, how quickly does Friday come around - it seems like I am only posting one or two blogs a week lately but that is OK because it means that I am interacting more with my family which is what living is about.  Isn't it ?????

Anyway, linking in with B at bbeingcool who has been sick this past week and I hope is well on the way to be fine again soon !!!!
My exercise for this week was :
Friday - 5.12km run 32:56
Sunday - 8.32km run 54:48
Tuesday - 30 mins personal training
Wednesday - 12.16km run 1:26:56 (my first long run with only 2 x 10m walks in it !!!)
Thursday - 30 mins personal training

I should have run on Monday but I got home, had a client and when I was finished with her I just couldn't be bothered - I felt tired and so I decided to give my body a rest which I believe was the best thing I could have done.  I did the long run on Wednesday night which I may not have done if I had of run on Monday night.

Once again my eating has not been great - why, why, why can't I get my head in the right head space - where it used to be when I was doing so well with my food ??????  Is it because A's work is all over the show - sometimes home, sometimes not, sometimes working at night, sometimes during the day - I don't know from one day to the next whether he is going to be home or not because their plans change to frequently.  Who would think that a company the size they are could be so disorganised.  On the up side he has his finish date - 31 August - times in really well with us getting back from holiday on 24th August - 5 days left for him to clear up any loose ends.  Alternatively, he will have found something else to move to and can come back from holiday and start at a new company.  Whichever way it goes, it will be fine.

I think I am just using his work as an excuse for not being a*sed about meals and I need to get myself back on track - soon !  Cheese on toast or a tin of soup have become staples for me for dinner !!!  I will try this long weekend to get more organised with my meals but not making any promises !!!!

GC Suns play St Kilda tomorrow - definitely not a game I think we have any chance of winning unless St Kilda turn up with only half a team.  It really is becoming frustrating that the Suns can't get a win under the belt - just a couple for the year would be fantastic guys !!!!

Have the best Friday possible - I will try to get around to other Fitness Friday blogs as soon as I can !

TFTD : Take up one idea.  Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea.  Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone.   This is the way to success, that is the way great spiritual giants are produced - Swami Vivekananda Quotes  (Maybe this is what I need to do about my food / eating !!!)

Fitness Friday (one day late)

This is a rainbow that I saw on my way to work during the week.  I have been seeing the most amazing rainbows lately but haven't always been able to take a photo of them which is rather sad.

Anyway, linking in with bbeingcool for Fitness Friday (albeit a day late !!!) - this is what I have managed to accomplish this week with regard to my exercising :

Friday - 4.12km run (26:28)
Sunday - 10.05km run (1:08:11)
Monday - 5.97km run (33.57)
Tuesday - matrix 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 push ups, sit ups, squats, 10, 8, 6, 4, 2 push ups, sit ups, squats
Wednesday - 5.14km run (35:19)

Some runs were better than others.  I was really pleased with my 10km run on Sunday - need to try to up this to 16-18kms so that I know I can finish the 10km run on 30 June (figure if I can manage 16-18km run, a 10km run will feel so much easier on the day) - I may be wrong on this but I can only try.

On Saturday I bought a couple of long sleeve tops to run in - saw some at Lululemon for $89 but couldn't justify spending that amount of money on a shirt to run in.  Went to KMart - they didn't have any.  Went to Target and got one there for $17.  Then Mountain Detail had another one for $24.  My run on Sunday was in the top from Target and it worked so well I went and bought another one - they have really made a difference to how much warmer I am when I run now !!

While we were at Helensvale, Al made me try on some new jeans saying that the ones I was wearing were too big for me - I bought two pairs of size 10 jeans - I reckon their sizing is wrong because there is no way that I am a size 10 - but it was a nice feeling when I did they up and they fitted !!!

Of late my eating has not been good - nor has my drinking - unless Pepsi Max and Amarula count as good drinking - well they do in one sense but not from a health point of view !!!  Fruit and veg have been non-existent and junk food has crept into my eating plan which is a little sad given how well I was eating up until a few weeks ago. I really need to get more organised and plan my meals better than I have been.  I will try to do that this week.

Yesterday there was a multiple car accident on the motorway home so, as I only had 1/4 tank of petrol, I thought I had better fill up as I was going to take the back roads to get home from where I was working at Inala.  When I went to pay for the petrol, I also bought a packed of Pods, just in case I got stranded somewhere !!!!  Yeah right !!!!  About 15 mins later, the pods had all been eaten scoffed down and the evidence hidden in my bag !!!  I only had a couple of hot chips for dinner but I did manage to make headway with a bottle of Amarula.  The drive over Mt Tamborine in the rain and mist on narrow winding roads with a drop down the mountain on one side of me was enough to send me to the bottle !!!!  (I must add that I did do a 5km run before I hit the bottle !!)

Today has been a rather relaxing day - washing done, catch up with a friend, watching some movies (Dolphin Tale and Red Dog) and catching up on recorded TV shows.  K is baby sitting and A is stuck out at Warwick - hopefully it will be raining tomorrow and they will come home early as the work they have to do is all outside and they won't be able to do any of it !!!!

On that note, I am going to watch Iron Lady.  Have a great Sunday everyone and take care !

TFTD : Improvisation is the first step to improvement.

DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness)

I'd love to say this a photo of the new me but that would be telling a porky - I am not blond, I don't have long hair, I don't have a flat stomach or butt and I certainly can't lift weights that look that big - 5kg is my maximum right now !!!!  But, this is what I was doing on Wednesday night - 3 x 20 Arnie's with said 5kg weights,  skipping, walking lunges with 10kg weights in each hand (no lifting involved so he pushed the weight up !!!), ab work using the fit ball amongst other things.  I did stretch afterwards, but yesterday I could still feel that I had had a decent workout, one that made me happy I had paid my money and gone to training.  The steps at work were a great reminder - just in case I had forgotten at any point during the day !  It made me feel like I had got my money's worth and that he had really worked me well.

This morning - I'm not so sure.  My obliques, my triceps, my glutes, my lats - are all screaming at me - but in a nice way !!!!!  While I didn't train last night due to other commitments, I am really pleased with my effort this week - despite everything that has been going on.  I love that DOMS feeling two days after training - it reinforces that I am pushing my body just a little bit harder each time and the absence of it lets me know that I was a slacker and should work harder at the next training !!!!

I recently went to Athlete's Foot and, after a lot of discussion with the lady and walking and trying on shoes, I found a pair that felt like they were made just for me.  They are supportive in the right places and they cushion in the right places.  They were $240.  I baulked.  A didn't even blink an eye - he said "We'll take them thank you."  Two days later we were at DFO and a shop there had exactly the same shoes for $100 - I nearly cried.  He didn't - he said "If we hadn't got the advice and tapped the knowledge that the lady had at AF, we never would have known that these were the right shoes to  buy for you." and promptly bought me another pair so that when I run out the first pair, I have a second pair waiting for me !!!!  How much more incentive do I need to get out there ?  Tonight I am hoping to try them out to see how they/I go !!

After 23 days of no soft drinks I was absolutely hanging out for Wednesday when I was going to have an ice-cold cold drink - I hadn't decided if it was going to be Coke Zero or Pepsi Max - such a difficult decision after 23 long days of water only.  The time came and I took a Coke Zero - opened it - I love the shoooosh as a can is opened - I savoured the smell.  Something I had missed for over 3 weeks !!!  And I took my first sip - it was lovely.  Just as good as I imagined !!!  I was in heaven (well nearly anyway).  And then I took another sip and another.  And 4 sips later I said to A - would you like this, I can't drink anymore !!!!!  It was the strangest thing - it just didn't do it for me like it used to.  Yesterday I only drank water at work and had a couple of sips of a Pepsi Max in the evening - can't finish a whole can - can't even finish half a can actually.  This is definitely a positive because I know all the bad things that are in those cold drinks but have always said, that is my one vice and I will deal with the consequences.  Maybe I am going to have to find myself another vice !!!!!!

Have the best weekend ever and take care, whatever you are doing !!!

I want to blog hop with katesaysstuff but don't know how to so if you want to - hop on over to her blog and go from there !!!!

TFTD : When you want what's inside of you more than what's outside of you, you will have it all.

How Do I Change My Head ?

That title probably reads a little more cryptically than I would like but I can't come up with anything better right now.

As you are probably all know, my weight loss (or lack thereof) is a big part of my life.  While it doesn't define who I am, it certainly impacts on how I feel and how I act.  I have been trying really hard to lose these excess kilos as we were planning a winter holiday in Canada/USA and I figured that being bundled up in snow gear would already add 10-20kgs onto me never mind if I was 20 kilos heavier to start with - which would see me looking 30-40kgs heavier than I actually am.

So the quest began.  The LnE was in full force Monday - Friday and I was really careful about what I ate on the weekend and the weight started to move - nicely.  Then Christmas hit and, while it is only one day, A and I were both off between Christmas and New Year and we indulged - a little too much and some of the weight came back (as it does).  And then the battle started - over the period of 6 weeks I lost the grand total of 0.3kgs.  This was on top of doing LnE and exercising for 60-75mins 6 x week.  I was demotivated and frustrated and, on one hand wanted to pack it all in, but on the other hand knew I couldn't because of those bloody photos that would be taken.

I went and spoke to my Dr and spoke to her about coming off the pill and she recommended the low calorie diet that I am on.  I made the appointment with my naturopath and she told me what I had to do and I have been doing it - for 15 days and have lost 6.5kgs.  I go back to her next Monday to start the next phase of this diet.

What is doing my head in is the numbers on the scale.  I would LOVE to say that I don't care what they are so long as my clothes fit me but I would by lying - I DO care what they are.  I DO have a number in my head that I want to see on those scales.  But right now, with clothes on, I look at myself in the mirror and think that I DON'T look that bad.  A and K both say how good I am looking and that I don't look like I am over-weight BUT it doesn't help to change that number in my head.

When I got married I weighed 45 kgs - yes at 5'7" I was too thin.  I liked to be around 50-52 - I felt healthy and I felt good in whatever I wore.  I don't want to say that because I am closer to 50 than 40, it is OK for my weight to be closer to 75kgs than 65kgs - those were obscene numbers for me when I was younger and I think that there is still a part of me that thinks those numbers are obscene and doesn't want to see them on the scale. 

Why can I not get my head around the fact that IT IS ONLY A NUMBER ?  Why is it so important to me WHAT THAT NUMBER IS ?  Why will I try to kill myself to get to that number when, in all likelihood, I will not be able to maintain that weight when I get there and then I feel like a total failure when I bounce right up to a number that my body feels it can sustain ?  Sometimes it is those last few kilos that nearly kill me and I don't want to go there again - I want to be able to indulge occasionally without feeling like I have to deprive myself for the next week.  I want food NOT to be the whole focus of my being.  I want to accept that my body will never look like it did 26 years ago - AND THAT IT IS OK TO ACCEPT THAT.  Why can't I get my head around this - it shouldn't be this hard !!!!!

Sometimes things are just too difficult !

Found my mojo (I think)

Firstly I want to thank all the new bloggers who have popped by and left comments - I can't tell you how much your thoughts mean to me.

I think I have found my mojo (see symbol above !!!).  The past couple of weeks have been difficult ones what with Dad's diagnosis, my issues with trying to lose weight, my lack of motivation to exercise when only days before I had been so motivated - but things are back on track - and I am happy about that.

My Dad's operation was a success - or as successful as they expected it to be.  They removed 14 lymph nodes and two were cancerous.  My folks leave for South Africa tomorrow afternoon - so really only a postponement of a couple of weeks for their trip although we could definitely have done without the reason for the postponement !

I started the low calorie diet that I mentioned in a previous blog and have lost 4kgs in 5 days.  It hasn't been easy but then I never expected it to be easy.  The main thing is that I am motivated to continue.

Other than the training that K and I do twice a week (only once this week) I have done no exercise, but, motivated by my friend at coloursofsunset, this morning I went for a walk and felt so good, it reminded me of how much I enjoyed walking.  The one down side was I remembered that the doctor had said that I need to do more than walking - I had to do cardio work - so am going to have to get working on that BUT the main thing is that I, once again, feel like I want to exercise, something I haven't felt like for a while.

A is working in Gladstone now so I have had a lonely day at home. K went off to work while I went for a walk before coming home and doing the laundry (just put on the 5th load for the day - who would think that there are only two of us in the house ?????), then I watched the very cheesy Strictly Ballroom which I have wanted to watch since first hearing about it on Dancing With The Stars - am glad I have seen it but certainly wouldn't say to anyone that it is a must see !!!!!

Have you got anything exciting planned for the rest of this weekend ?

TFTD : Do not follow in the footsteps of the wise.  Seek what they sought - Basho



Where I Am Now

As those of you who have been following me for a while will know that I have weight issues - in reality and in my head.  No matter what I weigh, I generally feel like I am too heavy.  In the past I have always worked on losing weight without strengthening myself. 

Last year, K and I started working with a personal trainer who lives two doors down from us - it has been great. I cannot believe how much stronger I am now (physically) than I used to be.  But, this has not helped my weight loss much - in fact, while I have lost cms since I started, I haven't lost as many as I think I should have.

Last year, as a family, we did Lite 'n Easy and we lost a lot of weight between us.  I lost just over 25kgs and I was really pleased with how things were going.  But I got slack and I put about 15kgs back on before I got into the right head space to start pulling things back again.  I have since lost between 8-9kgs depending on the day of the week and that is where I seem to have got stuck.  No matter how good my eating was coupled with the fact that I was exercising (not just walking) for 1-1.5hrs per day 6 days per week - the weight just won't shift.  It is a cause of great frustration for me.  While I understand that my weight doesn't define who I am - it is a major part of my life.  Not because my husband doesn't love me if I am heavy or not - in fact he really couldn't care less how much I weigh - he just wants me to be happy.  I know that losing weight doesn't make my problems go away, it doesn't mean I will have more money, it doesn't mean everything will be hunky dory - it just means that I will be thinner when I am dealing with said issues.

I have been talking to my naturopath and doctor and they have both indicated that they thought the pill might be the reason for the stagnation of my weight loss so I have come off the pill.  The doctor also suggested a really strict diet.  I have researched this and still need to discuss it with A but from what I can see, if I can stick it out for the really restrictive time frame of 3 weeks, it could be just what I need to kick start the weight loss of these last pesky kilos that I can't shift.  The maintenance period is what I am really interested in doing because that is where I will find out whether it is the sugar/carbs or the fats which are what my body doesn't like dealing with and which are causing the weight to stay put.  If I do follow this eating plan for the three weeks, the whole process is going to be a really big learning curve for me.  Part of me is excited about the prospect of being able to shed these kilos quickly and part of me is nervous about the restrictive eating plan that I need to follow - but then I think - it is only 3 weeks - in the greater scheme of things, it isn't a long time and, if I put my mind to it, THERE IS NO REASON WHY I CAN'T DO IT.

The weather today is doing it's best to dampen my spirits and I am trying very hard not to let it - because I believe my TFTD from yesterday !!!

With A still working in Coffs and K rostered to work all weekend - I will have some time to myself on Sunday. I have some clients booked in tomorrow morning and then a catch up planned with a really good friend in the afternoon. Maybe K and I will go to the Suns game in the evening depending on the weather. Then Sunday is going to be a ME day along with catching up on the washing for the week but that will be OK to do - it isn't that hard !!!

I hope you all have a great weekend.

TFTD : Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did or not - Oprah Winfrey

I Suck At This !

I suck at losing weight - I am no good at this right now.  Why ?  Is it the pill talking or is this me talking ? I am hoping that it is the pill because if this is how I am going to be, I will be the size of a house in no time at all.  I was doing so well until I lost the plot yesterday afternoon when A couldn't make a stupid decision !  It wasn't hard - did he want to pick up the microwave which had been taken in for repairs or did he want me to pick it up ? Not difficult A !!!!  Anyway after saying he would do it and me getting to my exit off the freeway he decides that maybe it would be better for me to pick it up.  So I turn around to go back down past where I have already come from.  They have moved so I go to the wrong place.  Call A to find out where to go because now that I have got to the wrong place and I can see that the road name is not the one he mentioned - no referdex in the car - why - I have no bloody idea because it should be there - and the GPS has karked it and isn't working - finally get there and it is absolutely p*ssing down with rain.

Sheltered parking - of course not ?  Get saturated running into the shop front.  Get the microwave and get even more wet getting it onto the backseat of the car.  Not happy Jan - now I am wet and I have to have the aircon on because the windscreen is fogging up so now I am cold as well.  Add to this a touch of anger and I stop at the shop and buy a Pixie Caramel and a Dairy Milk bar - because those will really help me feel better - NOT !!!!!!  But I ate them anyway - the worst part was I didn't enjoy them nearly as much as I thought I would.

Go to my folks to drop of the bloody L&E eskies so I am not stuck at work until 5.30 again this week - they want me to sit and chat - I want to get home because I am angry and wet and cold.  Get home just in time to get changed to go to training.  Poor trainer had he cr*p boxed out of his hands last night - I did feel a bit better afterwards.

Got home, showered and went to bed with The Hunger Games which K has borrowed from a friend because when she went to put a hold on it at the library she was 88th in the queue !!!  Then the eating continued - did I eat dinner - no why eat dinner when I can have chocolate covered muesli bars and take pieces of Australian cake out the freezer and wait for them to thaw before eating those ?

Then this morning I take out another two pieces of Australian cake to eat at work because it is going to be a cr*p day anyway !  I am in the office by myself - the one director who was in today has gone out - not sure when he will be back so at least it is nice and peaceful for now - no tradies - just me !  Wallowing at my own little pity party - should have brough some of my #janphotoaday guilty pleasure with me although would have hated to see how I drove home if I had had that here today !!!!

On top of all of this I am trying to pay for some advertising with a credit card that I know has got enough credit limit on it and it won't go through !!!!!  UUUUUUUURGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH universe - what karma is coming back to bite me on the butt ???????

Have a wonderful Australia Day everyone !!!!!  To those people in the Qld flooding areas - take care.

TFTD (courtesy of Lyndaal) To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe - Anatole France

Some Good Choices and Some Not So Good Choices

This weekend I made some good choices and I made some not so good choices.  What I was happy with was that there was no mindless eating - even when I was by myself for the whole of Saturday. 

I did get my cycle in on Saturday morning before I did anything else.  I am loving using DailyMile to record my exercise - I love being able to see it all listed there for me.

I loved having time to myself on Saturday to just mosey around as and when I wanted.  I didn't buy anything to eat that I shouldn't have.  I was tempted at the shopping centres but I managed to be strong.  I did have Nando's for dinner but I only had a couple of chips and threw the rest away.

A arrived home at about 10.45 on Saturday night - tired as anything in a ute that was just disgustingly dirty from the dirt roads that he had been travelling on during the time he was away.  It is so good to have him home again.

My eating yesterday was a little tardy - we were going to have breakfast at Harbourtown but by the time we were organised and ready to go - washing machine issues held us up - we decided to have brunch instead.  I had a chicken, cheese and avo toasted sandwich which looked exactly like the picture - I was amazed !!!!  After doing what we needed to we went home to repack the ute and I had some of the Australian Cake that A had bought after Christmas which I had cut up and frozen.  I also had a bite of A's chocolate which was better than the alternative which was to have my whole own chocolate !!!!

We watched some tennis and some cricket and had wedges with sour cream and sweet chilli sauce for dinner and I had one slice of home made sweet chilli and basil pizza that had waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much cheese on.  This meal was my not so good choice BUT I made a conscious decision to have it and, as the poster says, choices have consequences and I will deal with those, if they arise, during this week !!!

I am very excited to be part of the Fat Sisters team for the 1 million kilo challenge - here's to lots of success Thelma and Louise !!!!

The TFTD today is just so relevant to me - and all of us I think - how many times do we concentrate on what we still need to do instead of looking at what we have already accomplished ???

Have a fantastic week !

TFTD : One never notices what has been done, one can only see what remains to be done - Marie Curie

So Many Choices

I eventually left work at 1.30pm - I just couldn't take the noise anymore !!

Got home and put my walking clothes on, plugged the new earphones into my phone and hit the streets. Had a great walk but didn't know how far I had walked as I went a different route, so when I got home I got on my bike and cycled the route. 4.4kms which I didn't think was to shabby - the cycle wasn't that easy even though it wasn't far because of the wind. I was going to cycle further but my knee was starting to ache so thought I wouldn't push it and stopped cycling and came and paid sme accounts and then spent a couple of hours doing proof reading for a dear friend, Kathy, who is writing a book.

On Wednesday I had thought I would have Nando's for dinner on Thursday night. Then K wound me up so much I didn't want Nando's and had L&E thinking that I would have Nando's tonight. Well after the walk and the cycle, I wondered if I really wanted to make the choice of Nando's - mainly because I know how difficult the weekends are for me food wise and I thought that if I could make a better choice tonight it might really help me get through the weekend with better food choices - especially as I am anticipating being on my own for most of the weekend - always a dangerous time for me but unaccompanied, it is almost a disaster waiting to happen.

So, despite my longing / craving for Baskin & Robbins tonight, I have stayed glued to the TV watching a youngster I can't stand play tennis - all in an effort not to eat - and it has worked !! YAY !

I have also signed up for the 1 million kilo challenge - hopefully I can contribute towards that total ver 10 weeks. I have also signed up at daily mile to track my exercise - I LOVE seeing what I do in graph format

Just now I will go and shower and read for a while before hitting the sack. Here's to a sleep in tomorrow.

Have the best weekend ever - love, hugs and positive energy !

TFTD : The rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage - he has little competition - Andrew Carnegie