Self Sabotage - AT.IT'S.BEST !!!

Since Friday I have done my very best to self sabotage the journey that I am on. I have done my very best to stuff up the hard work that I have put in over the past 6 or 7 weeks. I have done my very best to treat my body with disrespect and horror and yet it still loves me and gave me results that absolutely astound and amaze me.

Fridays are often difficult days because I am generally in the office on my own which means that it is easier to eat things I shouldn't because there is nobody there watching me (or so I feel anyway - I bet nobody in the office actually gives a rats bum about what I do or don't eat). The problem for me is the jar of solid Easter eggs that is on the receptionist's desk - which I 'hid' in the pantry cupboard on Wednesday - but seeing as I was the one who hid them, they were pretty easy to find on Friday. One egg became two eggs became four eggs became six eggs before I went enough is enough. Actually - in between the six eggs was three scotch fingers.

Then, because I hadn't had enough sugar for one day given how little sugar I have eaten over said 6 or 7 weeks, when I went to the shops after work and had to wait for my car to be ready, I stopped at the local Japanese bakery (I wish they wouldn't keep opening up in local shopping centres - I find it EXTREMELY difficult to walk past and not buy anything) - I bought a donut and a coconut cake (because I am actually allowed coconut !!!! - Not sure about the whole cake thing though !!!) - and a Coke Zero - and I proceeded to sit in the food court and read my book and eat my purchases.

Needless to say by the time I finished eating them I felt very, very green around the gills. So off to get my car and come home. I KNEW that, as much as I didn't want to run in the rain, I had to get out there to counter-act the cr*p that I had eaten during the day. But, it was raining, and I didn't want to run in the rain. Lots of head talk happening about whether I should or shouldn't run in the rain but eventually one part of me reminded me that I wouldn't melt in the rain and it would just mean that I would have to run without my glasses which could be a little dodgy - so if I offended the two cars who hooted as they went past by not waving back, I'm sorry - but I couldn't see who you were and I don't wave at strangers !!!!! I had set an interval training session on Runkeeper of 1m running, 1m 30s walking - after the first interval I realised that they were the wrong way around and so I changed them to running 1m 30s and walking 1m. And I ran. I ran all the way to the round about at Paradise Point - and then realised that I was going to get home too soon - so took a detour - big mistake. I did well until I hit the 4.5km mark - then I got tired - but I carried on until I got home at 6.32km in 48:34 mins.

The amazing thing is that even though I am not supposed to be eating sugar or carbohydrates - I was still down on the scales the next day. Had an early start to collect my folks from the airport so no breakfast until after we had dropped them at home and sat chatting for a couple of hours - then too lazy to make a smoothie so bought two croissants from the local bakery and had those for breakfast. By lunch time I was still feeling lazy so had a piece of cheese and some nuts for lunch !!!

We were going to the Suns game on Saturday night so had 1/3 of a quiche Lorraine that we had bought from Woollies. It was such a great game that, even though we lost, we got home and celebrated by eating some more solid Easter eggs !!!!!!!

Saturday was my rest day so no exercise which probably didn't make me feel better but I have come to realise that rest days are even more important when exercising than the exercise itself.

This morning I woke up and jumped on the scale - and I was down again - taking me to the lowest weight I have been since 2007. I was really pleased although totally puzzled as to how this is happening. Listened to the weather and it was raining. I had planned to cycle this morning before going out to meet friends. Part of me wanted to cycle and part of me thought that the sensible thing to do was not cycle. Thank goodness the sensible part of me won that debate - I could be writing this from hospital if it hadn't !!!!!!!

I had so enjoyed those croissants yesterday I was very tempted to have them again today but then realised I was just being lazy - so I made my strawberry and blueberry smoothie and was on my way. At Robina I went past The Cookie Man - well actually I didn't go past - I stopped and I bought 3 macaroon biscuits and 3 brandy snaps - why - because I was starving. Why didn't I make a better choice ? I have absolutely no idea. Am I feeling invincible ? Not really - I enjoyed them but not so much that I couldn't have done without them.

I met up with another friend at the centre instead of the park where we were going to meet because the weather was so cr*ppy and then landed up having chicken burgers from Grill'd (they do make the best chicken burgers)

I got home at about 4.40 and all I could think about was getting on my bike and trying to burn some calories off. I had a great ride - it was a little windy

So, over the past three days I have done everything I can to sabotage my weight loss journey - and I have no idea why. I have been in such a great head space lately and I can't work out why I feel the need to go out and BUY things that I know I shouldn't be eating - because it isn't as though they make me feel that good in the first place.  I know that it is going to come back and bite me on the butt sometime soon - I just don't know when.  Maybe if I can stick to my exercise plan of exercising 6 days out of 7 - maybe I will burn off the excess calories - maybe not - time will tell.  Until then, tomorrow is a new day which I will tackle with more respect for my body and my journey.

Have the best week ever - not sure how I am going to handle working 5 days this week - it is going to be hard !!!!!  Hopefully I won't have to use food to get through it. (Not sure if my TFTD is that I shouldn't worry about the 'extras' I have eaten over the past three days - maybe I have to just put them behind me now and move on !!)

TFTD :  What would you be doing differently if your first priority was living today to it's fullest ?